[Basilissa]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

so god created the cucumber? that's seriously your proof?

God created EVERYTHING. (Genesis chapter 1).

[tf2 lover]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

My atheist friends time taunt me with childish question like “show me any proof, no matter how vague of this existence of God.” While this is utterly disingenuous, proof of God’s existence is in all of our hearts as atheists well know, I suppose for the weak faith it is worth the effort of putting up a good example. So for my friends how there who persist in denying the existence of God here goes.

The cucumber: The cucumber sleek shape is the correct size of the human hand. While one can make the weak argument that cucumbers are just that size because apes eat them and Godly micro evolution caused this them to be convenient to a human sized hand no other primate we are supposedly related to eats the cucumber, only humans. This also makes the cucumber the optimal size to be inserted into a human bodily orifice, again there is no natural reason for this. Only humans are depraved enough to violate themselves with a vegetable. Cucumbers have a tough out skin that allows them to put up to resist repeated rubbing, like what will happen when a cucumber is inserted into a human bodily orifice for purulent reasons. Again, no natural reason for this.

Evolution can not explain the cucumber. So clearly the cucumber has a creator.

Who or what is so obsessed with what humans put into their bodies that it would create a vegetable to enable it? There is only one answer; the God of the Christian Bible. Sticking things into your bum is a major point of Christianity. It is the direst of sins and God is on the constant alert for it, He is utterly outraged by it and tests humanity for it relentlessly. Clearly cucumbers are created by God as a trap for any hidden self sodomites out there.

Game over Atheists.

so god created the cucumber? that's seriously your proof?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Okay, but using this reasoning it's pretty obscure conclusion, let alone logical. If the belief that sticking a cucumber in your body is disgusting, why would they exist? Evidence that cucumbers might have grown in a restricted environment exists- for instance, the Japanese companies that grow square shaped watermelons by restricting their available growing space. What if a cucumber simply was growing in a restricted space shaped in a cylindrical, albeit phallic space? After that it simply might've posed an advantage to the cucumber, added to its genetic code?

This is reverse logic- taking a completely random factor and trying to justify it- the way that things went, it simply wouldn't make sense.

Your logic is flawed, dear. Firstly, the LORD need not rely on logic to be right. We humans, with our fallible minds, can really only sit back in wonder and awe and praise His Glorious Ways, even as they elude us time and time again (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Secondly, the disgusting cucumber, unlike the foolish Chinese watermelon, isn't grown in restricted places. It was genetically engineered with the specific dimensions to challenge the more advanced homosexual.

I hope that helps.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

If the belief that sticking a cucumber in your body is disgusting, why would they exist?

That may be the most illogical conclusion I have ever witnessed. Volkswagens exist, but they don't do well in the body, either.

Also, you are lying when you say you are a Negroe. Your usage is atrocious, but it is not the work of a Negroe. You are a public school man, White and unsaved, but you didn't pay much attention during your time in school.

[Basilissa]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

What if a cucumber simply was growing in a restricted space shaped in a cylindrical, albeit phallic space?

That's just sick. You're so sick. Oh, how do I take THAT mental image out of my head? Jesus help me!

[HomoBlackTransWoman]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

Okay, but using this reasoning it's pretty obscure conclusion, let alone logical. If the belief that sticking a cucumber in your body is disgusting, why would they exist? Evidence that cucumbers might have grown in a restricted environment exists- for instance, the Japanese companies that grow square shaped watermelons by restricting their available growing space. What if a cucumber simply was growing in a restricted space shaped in a cylindrical, albeit phallic space? After that it simply might've posed an advantage to the cucumber, added to its genetic code?

This is reverse logic- taking a completely random factor and trying to justify it- the way that things went, it simply wouldn't make sense.

[Steph Leia]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I don't mean to necro an old post, but I felt I could give some valid input. The cucumber actually comes in many, varied sizes. They range from small and bite size, to large enough to render us incapable of wrapping our hands around them. It all depends on the environment they come from. You know, the fertility of the soil, amount of water, etc. I'm well versed in agriculture, and spent most of my childhood tending to a farm before I moved away. As well, cucumbers' rough exterior actually seems to be more of a defense against being eaten. Of course, it didn't foresee the use of knives and skinners, apparantly.
As for the not liking cucumbers part, that's your opinion and choice, so I have to respect it. However, cucumbers with a little bit of salt make for a delicious snack.

You use your first post on this? See, my first post was in the introductory thread, getting to meet all the true Christians. Why don't you pop on there and say hello to all of us

[Cruel_Ultimatum]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I don't mean to necro an old post, but I felt I could give some valid input. The cucumber actually comes in many, varied sizes. They range from small and bite size, to large enough to render us incapable of wrapping our hands around them. It all depends on the environment they come from. You know, the fertility of the soil, amount of water, etc. I'm well versed in agriculture, and spent most of my childhood tending to a farm before I moved away. As well, cucumbers' rough exterior actually seems to be more of a defense against being eaten. Of course, it didn't foresee the use of knives and skinners, apparantly.
As for the not liking cucumbers part, that's your opinion and choice, so I have to respect it. However, cucumbers with a little bit of salt make for a delicious snack.

[_praisegod_]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

My atheist friends time taunt me with childish question like “show me any proof, no matter how vague of this existence of God.” While this is utterly disingenuous, proof of God’s existence is in all of our hearts as atheists well know, I suppose for the weak faith it is worth the effort of putting up a good example. So for my friends how there who persist in denying the existence of God here goes.

The cucumber: The cucumber sleek shape is the correct size of the human hand. While one can make the weak argument that cucumbers are just that size because apes eat them and Godly micro evolution caused this them to be convenient to a human sized hand no other primate we are supposedly related to eats the cucumber, only humans. This also makes the cucumber the optimal size to be inserted into a human bodily orifice, again there is no natural reason for this. Only humans are depraved enough to violate themselves with a vegetable. Cucumbers have a tough out skin that allows them to put up to resist repeated rubbing, like what will happen when a cucumber is inserted into a human bodily orifice for purulent reasons. Again, no natural reason for this.

Evolution can not explain the cucumber. So clearly the cucumber has a creator.

Who or what is so obsessed with what humans put into their bodies that it would create a vegetable to enable it? There is only one answer; the God of the Christian Bible. Sticking things into your bum is a major point of Christianity. It is the direst of sins and God is on the constant alert for it, He is utterly outraged by it and tests humanity for it relentlessly. Clearly cucumbers are created by God as a trap for any hidden self sodomites out there.

Game over Atheists.

Wow. Just wow. I suggest a different idea, what if farmers knew what size of cucumber would be best, and only used those cucumbers for seeds, meaning that the ones which weren't of a very good size would have eventually died out because none of their genes were being carried on.


Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Christianity, and if you have proof that god exists, please show it to me, but don't get upset if I argue your point. I would love nothing better than to have proof of the existence of god. But to do that, it needs to be proof, not far-stretched imagination.

[Basilissa]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

This is no way to persuade an atheist, my friend. As an illogical atheist, I would reject the evidence you just proposed. If you are going to convert your misguided friend, I would not go to the Bible, as atheists automatically dismiss it as false.

I will pray for your soul. Maybe will decide to take these illogical blindfolds away from your eyes (2 Thessalonians 2:11-12).

[The_Ocean]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

My atheist friends time taunt me with childish question like “show me any proof, no matter how vague of this existence of God.” While this is utterly disingenuous, proof of God’s existence is in all of our hearts as atheists well know, I suppose for the weak faith it is worth the effort of putting up a good example. So for my friends how there who persist in denying the existence of God here goes.

The cucumber: The cucumber sleek shape is the correct size of the human hand. While one can make the weak argument that cucumbers are just that size because apes eat them and Godly micro evolution caused this them to be convenient to a human sized hand no other primate we are supposedly related to eats the cucumber, only humans. This also makes the cucumber the optimal size to be inserted into a human bodily orifice, again there is no natural reason for this. Only humans are depraved enough to violate themselves with a vegetable. Cucumbers have a tough out skin that allows them to put up to resist repeated rubbing, like what will happen when a cucumber is inserted into a human bodily orifice for purulent reasons. Again, no natural reason for this.

Evolution can not explain the cucumber. So clearly the cucumber has a creator.

Who or what is so obsessed with what humans put into their bodies that it would create a vegetable to enable it? There is only one answer; the God of the Christian Bible. Sticking things into your bum is a major point of Christianity. It is the direst of sins and God is on the constant alert for it, He is utterly outraged by it and tests humanity for it relentlessly. Clearly cucumbers are created by God as a trap for any hidden self sodomites out there.

Game over Atheists.

This is no way to persuade an atheist, my friend. As an illogical atheist, I would reject the evidence you just proposed. If you are going to convert your misguided friend, I would not go to the Bible, as atheists automatically dismiss it as false. Do not go to plants such as bananas or cucumbers because they are genetically modified. God help your friend.

[John North]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence God-hating God-hating atheists

So, what about all those people who pleasure themselves to this Cucumber? I believe if it was perfectly shaped for that ... And, just 2 weeks ago I fed my dog a piece of a Cucumber. He seemed to like it.

How long did you let it mature in your rectum before you fed it to your dog?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence God-hating God-hating atheists

So, what about all those people who pleasure themselves to this Cucumber? I believe if it was perfectly shaped for that, well, God supports masturbation. And, just 2 weeks ago I fed my dog a piece of a Cucumber. He seemed to like it. We're not the only ones who eat it.

I'll take my $10,000.00 USD now.

Oh yeah? Then how do you explain the death of Onan, the seed spiller? If God is such a fan of masturbation, why does His Word forbid it?

Genesis 38:9-10

King James Version (KJV)

9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
10 And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also.



Face it, naturally occurring dildos prove one thing only: that God hates masturbaters so much he baits them into the act so they can't get into Heaven.

[jon.doyle]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence God-hating atheists

My God-hating atheist friends time taunt me with childish question like “show me any proof, no matter how vague of this existence of God.” While this is utterly disingenuous, proof of God’s existence is in all of our hearts as God-hating atheists well know, I suppose for the weak faith it is worth the effort of putting up a good example. So for my friends how there who persist in denying the existence of God here goes.

The cucumber: The cucumber sleek shape is the correct size of the human hand. While one can make the weak argument that cucumbers are just that size because apes eat them and Godly micro evolution caused this them to be convenient to a human sized hand no other primate we are supposedly related to eats the cucumber, only humans. This also makes the cucumber the optimal size to be inserted into a human bodily orifice, again there is no natural reason for this. Only humans are depraved enough to violate themselves with a vegetable. Cucumbers have a tough out skin that allows them to put up to resist repeated rubbing, like what will happen when a cucumber is inserted into a human bodily orifice for purulent reasons. Again, no natural reason for this.

Evolution can not explain the cucumber. So clearly the cucumber has a creator.

Who or what is so obsessed with what humans put into their bodies that it would create a vegetable to enable it? There is only one answer; the God of the Christian Bible. Sticking things into your bum is a major point of Christianity. It is the direst of sins and God is on the constant alert for it, He is utterly outraged by it and tests humanity for it relentlessly. Clearly cucumbers are created by God as a trap for any hidden self sodomites out there.

Game over God-hating atheists.

So, what about all those people who pleasure themselves to this Cucumber? I believe if it was perfectly shaped for that, well, God supports masturbation. And, just 2 weeks ago I fed my dog a piece of a Cucumber. He seemed to like it. We're not the only ones who eat it.

I'll take my $10,000.00 USD now.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Cucumber, the proof of God’s existence Atheists

I've seen a few atheists on this website, and no one at all tried to help them. Instead, everyone just insulted and ridiculed them.

We have always tried to help them find their way to Jesus, and to understand who God really is. However, many of them are here to insult and attack us and try to convert us to their hellbound disbelief. Why exactly should we put up with such rudeness on a Christian church's discussion forum?

Also, if you try to put your mind into the smartest of atheists, you'll find it surprisingly roomy, even cavernous in there.

FTFY.

very annoying that someone is trying to shove God down your throat when you know that you're entitled to your beliefs and disbeliefs.

Tell me, dear . . . if you went into a synagogue, sat on the pew, and stayed through a service, would you then complain that the rabbi was "trying to shove his false religion down your throat"?

Of course not. You went into the synagogue of your own volition. Nobody dragged you there at gunpoint and forced you to sit through the service.

Likewise, nobody has been forced to come to this CHRISTIAN CHURCH'S DISCUSSION FORUM, where we praise Jesus and discuss the Bible.

People uninterested in Jesus and the Bible have no reason to be here other than to harass and insult Christians.