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  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22888

    #1

    Phrenology - the Godly Science of feeling bumps!

    A question that worried Landover for centuries was, "How do you know if someone is a True Christian™ or an atheist or catholic?" Even the devil knows the Bible so a biblical test is useless. Direct questions such as "Are you a True Christian™?", which you would have thought infallible, do not take into account the ability of some people, inspired by Satan (atheists or catholics) not to tell the truth!

    Here is where science can help. We can examine the head of the applicant; this is Phrenology and is infallible. It is God's way of marking the reprobate. Here is a picture with the Godliness part of the skull highlighted.

    Click image for larger version

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    You will be unsurprised to find that all Pastors at Landover have huge protuberances in the area of "Moral and Religious Sentiments"

    Phrenology is the science of brain and character reading, and "the only true science of mind." Phrenology was the brainchild of the True Christian Missionary, the Australian Franz Joseph Gall (1758-1828). His years of research and inspired thoughts produced the following:

    1.The brain is the organ of the mind and possibly the home of the soul.
    2. The mind is composed of multiple distinct, innate faculties.
    3. Because they are distinct, each God Given Gift must have a separate seat or "organ" in the brain.
    4. The size of an organ, other things being equal, is a measure of its power.
    5. The shape of the brain is determined by the size that God gave to the various organs.
    6. As the skull takes its shape from the brain, the surface of the skull can be read as an accurate index of psychological aptitudes and tendencies.

    Such was Gall's fame that R. Chenevix (phrenologist) said, in 1828, "[Before phrenology] all we knew about the brain was, how to slice it..."

    It has been pointed out to me that Seth Cochran, a reprobate, homer and witch, who occasionally stalks pastors at Landover, also had a huge protuberance in the area of "Moral and Religious Sentiments". This is where the skill of the Biblical Phrenologist comes into play – This malformed growth was caused by even greater swellings in the surrounding areas of Selfishness, Homerism and Devil Worship.

    If you want to know anything about anyone, have a qualified Phrenologist feel their bumps. Choosing a partner for life, an employee or whether to do business with someone is a chancy business and no one likes uncertainty, therefore phrenology makes sense.
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
  • Talitha
    Deaconess
    Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
    True Christian™
    • Apr 2026
    • 15118

    #2
    Re: Phrenology - the Godly Science of feeling bumps!

    I'm always a little suspicious of all this Scientifical stuff, but if a Godly man like Brother Bathfire tells me it's good then it must be.

    It puts me in mind of Cousin Josh.
    As a child he had a huge bump in his area of Moral and Religious sentiments.
    So much so we all thought he was going to grow up being one of the most Godly men in the state.
    Turns out it was where his Momma had dropped him on his head when he was a baby.
    He ended up being a retard at the end of the day.
    I think they sold him or exchanged him for a new carburetor or something just as useful.








    .

    Sister Talitha

    Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


    HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
    being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



    Comment

    • Rev. Jim Osborne
      True Christian™ Televangelist
      Director of Fundraising and Tithing
      On the Look Out for Wife #6!
      True Christian™
      • Jun 2009
      • 8622

      #3
      Re: Phrenology - the Godly Science of feeling bumps!

      Phrenology, like Creation Science, is a respectable, practical field which has been much misaligned by secular scientists with a Godless agenda. It's funny how these scientists who believe in myths like evolution, genetics, and embryology are so quick to dismiss phrenology as "quackery", even though it has been repeatedly shown throughout the years to have fully explained human behavior.

      The shape of a human skull does indeed prove quite telling to the owner's personality and mental facilities. Have you ever noticed how many retards have narrow, cone shaped heads? Or what about that backwards sloping forehead? It's also no coincidence that races with lesser intellectual capabilities such as negroes have very round skulls with protruberances in the sexual/self-preservational "animal" parts of the brain.

      Some phrenologists were so skilled that they were able to identify a criminal by skull shape. But, because of liberal agenda advocating criminal rights, phrenology was unfairly dismissed in prosecution and the courts. I know we could make better and more fair convictions if phrenologists were allowed to testify upon a suspect's skull. After all, doesn't it just seem intrinsically true to you? Haven't you ever just looked at a person and just knew they were a criminal? I know I have.

      Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

      Comment

      • SUV
        True Christian™ Princess
        The Driving Force behind RA12
        Have at it, anytime!
        • Sep 2006
        • 11027

        #4
        Re: Phrenology - the Godly Science of feeling bumps!

        Yes, Pastor was instructing me in this very thing, when.......?

        Nevermind

        Comment

        • James Hutchins
          True Christian™
          Just a Regular Nice Guy
           
          • Jun 2009
          • 29453

          #5
          Re: Phrenology - the Godly Science of feeling bumps!

          What about bumps that are the direct result of a mule kick? Are they interperted the same because they now exist due to God's will? I have one shaped like a Mule Shoe....
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

          Comment

          • SUV
            True Christian™ Princess
            The Driving Force behind RA12
            Have at it, anytime!
            • Sep 2006
            • 11027

            #6
            Re: Phrenology - the Godly Science of feeling bumps!

            Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
            What about bumps that are the direct result of a mule kick? Are they interperted the same because they now exist due to God's will? I have one shaped like a Mule Shoe....
            Do you have any messicants on your Property, Brother James?

            If so, you can probably convince them very easily that it is Something Very Holy and they will Worship it - and yourself

            Comment

            • Bobby-Joe
              Landover Security Superviser
              Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
              NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 18405

              #7
              Re: Phrenology - the Godly Science of feeling bumps!

              Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
              Phrenology, like Creation Science, is a respectable, practical field which has been much misaligned by secular scientists with a Godless agenda. It's funny how these scientists who believe in myths like evolution, genetics, and embryology are so quick to dismiss phrenology as "quackery", even though it has been repeatedly shown throughout the years to have fully explained human behavior.

              The shape of a human skull does indeed prove quite telling to the owner's personality and mental facilities. Have you ever noticed how many retards have narrow, cone shaped heads? Or what about that backwards sloping forehead? It's also no coincidence that races with lesser intellectual capabilities such as negroes have very round skulls with protruberances in the sexual/self-preservational "animal" parts of the brain.

              Some phrenologists were so skilled that they were able to identify a criminal by skull shape. But, because of liberal agenda advocating criminal rights, phrenology was unfairly dismissed in prosecution and the courts. I know we could make better and more fair convictions if phrenologists were allowed to testify upon a suspect's skull. After all, doesn't it just seem intrinsically true to you? Haven't you ever just looked at a person and just knew they were a criminal? I know I have.
              Quoted for the Truth

              What the Reverand said and would like to point out that every single suspect we brought into the Freehold County Phrenologist for screening were find to have the bumps on their heads just like a criminal's. As Sergeant Cleon, the previous head of the Security Detachment, told me when I was a rookie "there is nothing like some stick time to get a perp's head to look one". Words to live by from a great man.

              Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

              Hot Must ReadThreads!


              Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

              Comment

              • James Hutchins
                True Christian™
                Just a Regular Nice Guy
                 
                • Jun 2009
                • 29453

                #8
                Re: Phrenology - the Godly Science of feeling bumps!

                Originally posted by SUV View Post
                Do you have any messicants on your Property, Brother James?

                If so, you can probably convince them very easily that it is Something Very Holy and they will Worship it - and yourself
                I do not think I'd be comfortable being worshipped by messicans. I'd rather see them praying to God. Sadly, most of the messicans around here are papist catlickers so I try and keep my distance. They work the fields.
                I let the nigras work near and in the main house as they are all Baptists. Plus they sing catchy tunes.

                The only good thing about my shoe shaped bump is it looks like a right side up 'U' so the good luck cannot fall out!
                Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                Comment

                • F. Nietzsche
                  Unsaved trash, teenage wannabe nihilist
                  • Apr 2008
                  • 120

                  #9
                  Re: Phrenology - the Godly Science of feeling bumps!

                  There is absolutely no evidence phrenology is anything close to accurate. It's been discredited for decades now, and there is absolutely no legitimate scientific group that would give credence to these theories.
                  The world itself is the will to power - and nothing else! And you yourself are the will to power - and nothing else!

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Ezekiel
                    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                     
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 78556

                    #10
                    Re: Phrenology - the Godly Science of feeling bumps!

                    Originally posted by F. Nietzsche View Post
                    There is absolutely no evidence phrenology is anything close to accurate. It's been discredited for decades now, and there is absolutely no legitimate scientific group that would give credence to these theories.
                    Kinda like atheism you mean?
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • F. Nietzsche
                      Unsaved trash, teenage wannabe nihilist
                      • Apr 2008
                      • 120

                      #11
                      Re: Phrenology - the Godly Science of feeling bumps!

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      Kinda like atheism you mean?
                      Depends. In abscense of evidence for a position either way, it would seem that the best position would be to assume that it does not exist or that the claim is inaccurate, otherwise, I could postulate rediculous concepts about teapots orbiting the sun too small for telescopes to see or other unfalsifiable concepts and demand evidence of disproof, which is impossible.
                      The world itself is the will to power - and nothing else! And you yourself are the will to power - and nothing else!

                      Comment

                      • Pastor Ezekiel
                        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                         
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 78556

                        #12
                        Re: Phrenology - the Godly Science of feeling bumps!

                        Originally posted by F. Nietzsche View Post
                        Depends. In abscense of evidence for a position either way, it would seem that the best position would be to assume that it does not exist or that the claim is inaccurate, otherwise, I could postulate rediculous concepts about teapots orbiting the sun too small for telescopes to see or other unfalsifiable concepts and demand evidence of disproof, which is impossible.



                        You're just making that up as you go, aren't you buddy. Neither Jesus nor I are impressed by your $3 words.
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • F. Nietzsche
                          Unsaved trash, teenage wannabe nihilist
                          • Apr 2008
                          • 120

                          #13
                          Re: Phrenology - the Godly Science of feeling bumps!

                          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post



                          You're just making that up as you go, aren't you buddy. Neither Jesus nor I are impressed by your $3 words.
                          Nope, just a rendition of a bit of Popper's philosophy.

                          Scientific ideas have to be by nature falsifiable, thus, it's necessary for the onus of proof to sit upon the person wishing to prove something, as a true disproof is impossible in science.
                          The world itself is the will to power - and nothing else! And you yourself are the will to power - and nothing else!

                          Comment

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