[Wide-Open]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

These Haiwanese scare me a bit to be honest. You you realise how many times they have declared war against us, using voodoo spells?

Tahuwai la a tahuwai wai la
Ehu hene la a pili koo lua la
Pututui lu a ite toe la
Hanu lipo ita paalai
Au we ta huala
Au we ta huala

Tahuwai la a tahuwai wai la
Ehu hene la a pili koo lua la
Pututui lu a ite toe la
Hanu lipo ita paalai
Au we ta huala
Au we ta huala

Pututui lu indeed.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

Humu humu nuku nuku apua'a!!!

This sounds like the naughty grunting primitive people make when breeding!

PS I discovered another very disturbing Hawaiian word. Maui Wowie and I'd rather not explain what that means!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

When my dearly departed Milbert and I were on our honeymoon in Maui we thought all the fat Hawaiians on the beaches were whales and giant seals.

I tried pushing one giagantic lady in a black swim suit back in the water....then she called me an "effing howlie" whatever THAT mean and then asked me to rub sun block on her. That whe when I realized it was a human!

There are more chinks and flips there than Hawaiians anyway. I would never go back there. How Pappa P lives out there is beyond me. I thought they were fat, mean, awful pigs of people and they are all going to HELL anyway for worshiping the fire god Pele or something like that.

Pineapples are good though that is the only thing those fat lazy people do right.

RIP Milbert.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

This sounds like someone with the dry heaves.

At least there a happy ending. Captain Cook got into it with a Hawaiian chief and was killed and eaten. Only the skin of his his hands were saved to use as flyswatters (True Story). Eventually the British negotiated for the return of his bones and took them back to England.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

Humu humu nuku nuku apua'a!!!

This sounds like someone with the dry heaves.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

Those Hawaiians insist on coming up with goofy names for just about EVERYTHING! There is a pretty little fish that the rest of the world calls the Picasso Triggerfish.

Granted, naming one of God's creatures after a pervert artist isn't the best idea anyone has ever had, but you know what those Island Injuns insist on calling it?

Humu humu nuku nuku apua'a!!!

Five words no one can pronounce for one little fish! No wonder they never get anything done over there. Imagine how long it must take someone to tell a story if every little thing requires multiple unpronounceable words to describe it!

It is a cute little fish though. God sure created some beautiful creatures!

That is our unofficial State fish. Of course we can pronounce it. We can understand Brits can't we?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

I seem to recall that the Hawaiian Islands were discovered by Sir Isaac Newton, who was British and invented the sandwich when a slice of cooked ham fell on his head.

America, knowing that Britain had pre-stolen the islands asked John L. Stevens (who founded Stevens Institute of Technology for processing pineapples) to send Marines (who later invented the marina) to claim them. They did this by changing the name on all maps so the British would never find them again.

That might be the most accurate description I have ever seen.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

Those Hawaiians insist on coming up with goofy names for just about EVERYTHING! There is a pretty little fish that the rest of the world calls the Picasso Triggerfish.

Granted, naming one of God's creatures after a pervert artist isn't the best idea anyone has ever had, but you know what those Island Injuns insist on calling it?

Humu humu nuku nuku apua'a!!!

Five words no one can pronounce for one little fish! No wonder they never get anything done over there. Imagine how long it must take someone to tell a story if every little thing requires multiple unpronounceable words to describe it!

It is a cute little fish though. God sure created some beautiful creatures!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

After generations of missionaries to those God forsaken islands, the only thing they can point to of any cultural significance is Don Ho and his "Tiny Bubbles". Paradise is what Jesus promised, not an endless stream of tourism.

Sadly, Brother Ho (a chink of some kind) finally passed on to his reward down south.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

After generations of missionaries to those God forsaken islands, the only thing they can point to of any cultural significance is Don Ho and his "Tiny Bubbles". Paradise is what Jesus promised, not an endless stream of tourism.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

Nephew Zebulun came by with a copy of the Birth Certificate from Honolulu, so I suppose it must be OK:

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

Isn't that where Obama claimed to be born, even though we all know he wasn't born on USA soil and cannot be president. We are being robbed!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

I seem to recall that the Hawaiian Islands were discovered by Sir Isaac Newton, who was British and invented the sandwich when a slice of cooked ham fell on his head.

America, knowing that Britain had pre-stolen the islands asked John L. Stevens (who founded Stevens Institute of Technology for processing pineapples) to send Marines (who later invented the marina) to claim them. They did this by changing the name on all maps so the British would never find them again.

[Talitha]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

Have you seen the State Flag of Hawaii?




Red, White & Blue. What's that in the corner?

A Blasphemy that's what!!

Where are the Stars & Stripes?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Mele Kalikimaka! A Warning About Hawaiians!

I dunno.....it seems kind of benign to me. Zele's verion was pretty bad, though.

Does everyone now understand why I need a VERY LARGE CASH BONUS this year? I mean I gotta work here!