Latest Goth Nonsense: Crying Clubs

[Deaner]

Re: Latest Goth Nonsense: Crying Clubs

Imagine if a radical jihadist preacher walked into one of those places - he'd have recruited two dozen human bombs for Allah before you can say "Jiminy Cricket"! No, the only thing to do with these nests of sedition is to send the riot police in to beat every enemy combatant in the place senseless and ship the lot of them off to Guanatanamo.

You've given me an idea. Maybe the DOF could implement "Suicide Clubs" and promote them as a natural extension of the crying clubs. The little retards can just off themselves and the police will remain free to beat up crackheads. Might be worth looking into.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Latest Goth Nonsense: Crying Clubs

Well, I've always said that Goths are just Islamists who decided to stick pantyhose on their arms instead of towels on their heads, and this is just more proof of that. Imagine if a radical jihadist preacher walked into one of those places - he'd have recruited two dozen human bombs for Allah before you can say "Jiminy Cricket"! No, the only thing to do with these nests of sedition is to send the riot police in to beat every enemy combatant in the place senseless (not that that should take long, since they're mostly senseless anyway) and ship the lot of them off to Guanatanamo. Or possibly Poland.

[SinisterPizza]

Re: Latest Goth Nonsense: Crying Clubs

How, well...stupid. People go to clubs to have fun, not to cry. Why would they need onions to help them cry anyways? Those things sting my eyes, I'm crying, but out of pain, not sorrow old

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Latest Goth Nonsense: Crying Clubs

Perhaps, but neither will be able to cure the underlying cause of all this misery. Only Jesus can do that.

Jesus hates nancyboys who wallow in their self-imposed victimhood. What a waste of taxpayer money. We could be sending that many more ragheads to hell in iraquistan.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Latest Goth Nonsense: Crying Clubs

I guess it's cheaper than a therapist.

Perhaps, but neither will be able to cure the underlying cause of all this misery. Only Jesus can do that.

[H.P. Crowley]

Re: Latest Goth Nonsense: Crying Clubs

I guess it's cheaper than a therapist.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Latest Goth Nonsense: Crying Clubs

This sickens me to no end.

They ought to hand out razor blades as well.

There is nothing more irritating than a weepy, depressed, hopeless, anguished, suicidal gothtard.

You'd think the little homers would be afraid of running thier make-up.

Disgusted, Sister Thumper

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Latest Goth Nonsense: Crying Clubs

The gothtards will have enough to cry about in hell. They won't even need chopped onions.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

THIS might seem like a made-up story, but Brothers and sisters, its all too true. Apparently they started out in gookland. Over there in Godless England, the goth tards are paying good money to dress up like zombies and cry. Jesus is probably laughing His Holy behind off right now.

The crying game: Misery clubs come to the UK

Forget happiness, the in-crowd is being moved to tears by a new wave of super cool misery clubs, which give visitors (with the help of a pile of chopped onions) the chance to weep away their woes

Against a backdrop of crashing choral music and candlelight, a group of elaborately costumed young women are dabbing their eyes with a handkerchief, their mascara running to form black rivulets down their cheeks.

It is not difficult to see why they are so distressed: in front of them, a mound of pungent onions is being vigorously and elaborately chopped by a serious-looking young man in a tailcoat, and the fumes are overwhelming.

Even the male guests are wiping away the odd tear.

But then that's precisely the point. The 300 people in the crowd at this candlelit 17th-century wine vault, tucked away off a busy London thoroughfare, are here to do just that.

They are celebrating - if that is the right word, under the circumstances - the chance to express their more sorrowful side at a new club night called Loss.

Billed as 'an evening of exquisite misery', this is where clubbers can go to indulge their inner gloom. The onions are there to help them along a bit, should they struggle to shed their British reserve.

Loss is one of a new breed of crying clubs to arrive in the UK from Japan, where tears have become something of an industry in recent years.

In Tokyo, stressed businessmen can rent rooms by the hour to watch weepy movies or pay £5 a time to attend group cryathons and 'tear therapy' meetings.

Crying in public seems to have caught on in the United States, too.

New American website, cryingwhileeating.com allows users to post pictures of themselves weeping into their food alongside a short explanation of the cause of their distress ('global warming', 'always expects the worst and is never disappointed').

The site already has cult status, receiving thousands of hits in the past few months alone.