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  • Jeb Stuart Thurmond
    Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
     
    • Jun 2007
    • 6578

    #1

    Movie review: 2012

    So the new-agers believe that 2012 will be the end of the world. Though the Mayans actually predicted a "time of changes". I guess it's nice to see that even new-agers agree with the core conservative belief that change = end of the world. They say that Nostradamus, the origional pot-headed babbler, predicts it too. Good thing Nostrodamus wrote volume after volume of gibberish, so that you can still interpret his babbling to mean whatever you want, after you've used half his work as rolling papers for reefers.

    Sorry to break it to the crystal-worshippers, but even the almighty and all-knowing LORD does not know what time The Rapture will come: Mark 13:32 But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.

    Now, on to the movie. First of all, I'm not talking about the origional Christian epic, 2012: Doomsday. I'm talking about the Hollywood movie that plagerizes it.

    "A modern Christian epic, in the tradition of The Omega Code." This movie is so good, the quotes aren't even said by movie reviewers. Or even particular people. They're just said.
    You might be wondering why I gave this movie a thumbs up, even though it's liberal brainwashing. I give it a thumbs up because it's INEFFECTIVE liberal brainwashing. Also you get to see lots of liberal cities being destroyed. And a black president getting smacked upside the head with an aircraft carrier - the USS John F Kennedy, to be exact. Subtle, this movie isn't.

    The creators of 2012 have already exposed the insanity of Global Warming theory with The Day after Tommorrow and the bizare beliefs behind the SETI project with Independence Day. Now they do the same for the Theory of Plate Tectonics, which includes such heresies as "continental drift".

    You've probably already heard of "continental drift", the idea that continents are zooming around and bouncing off each other like ping-pong balls. Despite the mountains of evidence proving the world is 6000 years old, the tectonofascists still believe that God's chosen Nation was once part of the same continent as inferior landmasses - even Africa!

    It turns out their beliefs are even more absurd than this. Yes, the Theory of Plate Tectonics also says that when the sun bursts into flame (yes, I know it's already on fire, but they don't seem to) things called "nutrinos" will "mutate" underground, causing parts of the world to fall off.

    Yes, it seems that even scientists understand that the world is flat. In 2012 you can clearly see parts of the world falling down. Scientists claim that they believe the world is round and filled with stuff, but the endless scenes of landscape simply FALLING, shows they can't even convince themselves.

    Another interesting thing about this movie: it involves non-American characters. Everybody knows movies about epic, earth-shattering events are bigger and more epic when they only involve Americans. Adding jabbering foreigners only makes the whole thing seem petty. "Oh no, my mountaintop monastery is about to be hit by a wave! Oh no, my curry farm fell off the edge of the world!" Cry me a river you whiners. Did you see how close that dog came to dying? Did you?

    My advice is to wait for this one to arrive on DVD, so that you can fast-forward the drama bits. The characters don't arouse any sympathy at all. There's a money-grubbing Russian Jew and his spoiled mutant twin sons, Two yuppie enuchs fighting over a divorced whore, a lot of typical liberals who risk the extermination of humanity just to appease their squeamishness, Obama, and his suddenly very curvacious daughter. I know niglets tend to hit puberty young, but I don't expect to be oogling the first daughters within the next 2 years. At least not unless they dress up as cheerleaders for halloween or something. Or wear those great big hoop earrings. Gentlemen, you know exactly what those big hoop earrings mean.
    Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 02-18-2014, 02:50 PM.
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  • Jenni111
    Unsaved trash
     
    • Aug 2009
    • 323

    #2
    Re: Movie review: 2012

    ahahaha... you made the movie seem funny


    Was it a good watch?

    Comment

    • Jeb Stuart Thurmond
      Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
       
      • Jun 2007
      • 6578

      #3
      Re: Movie review: 2012

      Was it a good watch? I dunno. I guess I'll have to find a review of it. Any idea where to find one?


      Anyway, I didn't even get started on the Noah's Flood / Great Deluge references. I just can't made heads or tails of that bit. Is it possible that True Christians(tm) could copywrite the Bible, so that we can sue for plagerism in cases like this?
      Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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      Comment

      • Jenni111
        Unsaved trash
         
        • Aug 2009
        • 323

        #4
        Re: Movie review: 2012

        Originally posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
        Was it a good watch? I dunno. I guess I'll have to find a review of it. Any idea where to find one?


        Anyway, I didn't even get started on the Noah's Flood / Great Deluge references. I just can't made heads or tails of that bit. Is it possible that True Christians™ could copywrite the Bible, so that we can sue for plagerism in cases like this?
        Well, i go to this website to find movie reviews

        i searched the movie for you too:


        Here is an overview of the whole movie. Don't read it if you plan to watch it
        In 2009, American geologist Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) travels to India to meet his friend Satnam, who has discovered that neutrinos from a massive solar flare have penetrated the Earth and are causing the temperature of its core to increase rapidly. Adrian returns to Washington D.C. to inform White House Chief of Staff Carl Anheuser (Oliver Platt) and US President Thomas Wilson (Danny Glover) that this will instigate a chain of events that will bring about the end of the world. At the 36th G8 summit in 2010, other heads of state and heads of government are made aware of the situation. They collaborate to begin a secret project intended to ensure the continuity of human life, strategically choosing 400,000 people for admission on a series of gigantic arks to be constructed in the Himalayas. To help fund the venture, additional individuals are allowed to purchase tickets for one billion euros apiece.

        In 2012, micro-quakes have started to occur causing small cracks in the earth's surface. Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) is a writer in Los Angeles who works part time as a limousine driver for Russian billionaire Yuri Karpov. Jackson's ex-wife Kate (Amanda Peet) and their children Noah and Lily live with her new boyfriend, plastic surgeon and amateur pilot Gordon. Jackson takes Noah and Lily on a camping trip to Yellowstone National Park, where they find their usual camping spot fenced off while government scientists, including Adrian (now a White House science advisor), monitor the situation. While in Yellowstone, Jackson meets Charlie Frost, a radio show host and conspiracy theorist. Charlie supports a theory that suggests the Mayans predicted the world would come to an end in 2012, and claims he has knowledge of the ark project and possesses a map of the arks' location. Jackson believes he is a rambling drunk and leaves.

        Adrian returns to the White House with ominous news - the earth's temperature rise is accelerating. The evacuation plan is set into motion. Meanwhile, Jackson's family returns home as cracks begin to develop along the San Andreas Fault in California and earthquakes occur in the San Francisco Bay area. Jackson grows suspicious and rents a private plane to rescue his family. He collects his family and Gordon when the Earth's crust displacement begins and they escape Los Angeles as it collapses into the Pacific Ocean.

        As millions begin dying in apocalyptic earthquakes worldwide, the group flies to Yellowstone to retrieve Charlie's map. The group narrowly escapes as the Yellowstone Caldera erupts. Charlie, who stayed behind to make a live broadcast of the eruption, is killed by the blast. Realizing the arks are in China, the group lands in Las Vegas, where they meet Yuri, his twin sons, girlfriend Tamara, and pilot Sasha. They join the group and secure a larger plane, the Antonov An-225, to head across the Pacific. Also bound for the arks aboard Air Force One are Anheuser, Adrian, and First Daughter Laura Wilson (Thandie Newton). President Wilson remained in Washington D.C. to address the nation one last time. He is soon killed by a tsunami that sends the USS John F. Kennedy crashing into the White House. With the Vice President dead and the Speaker of the House missing, Anheuser appoints himself acting Commander-in-Chief.

        Sasha discovers that the plane doesn't have enough fuel to get to China, so they have to make a crash landing in the ocean. But as they get near the ground, they discover that they are indeed in China, as the earth's crust has shifted.

        Yuri, who has purchased ark tickets for himself and his sons, deserts the Curtis family, Gordon, and Tamara upon arriving in China. However, the abandoned group is picked up by Nima, a Buddhist monk. Together, they begin sneaking onto an ark through its hydraulics chamber with the help of Nima's brother Tenzin, a welder for the ark project. In his last moments, Satnam calls Adrian to inform him that a tsunami is engulfing India and heading towards the arks. Learning of this, Anheuser orders the arks be sealed before the boarding process is complete, trapping thousands outside. Adrian manages to convince the other G8 leaders to let the remaining people on board. As the ark's tailgate is lowered, Gordon is killed when he falls in between the gears, followed by Tenzin's large electrical power drill. Yuri sacrifices his life to get his two sons on in time, but the obstruction prevents the gate from closing, rendering the ship unable to start its engines. The tsunami arrives and begins to flood the ark, drowning Tamara and setting the ark helplessly adrift. Jackson and Noah work together to free the drill and its cable from the closing mechanism. The gate closes and the crew regains control of the ark, preventing a fatal collision with Mount Everest.

        A title appears that says "Day 27 Month 01 Year 0001"

        When the floodwater from the worldwide tsunamis eventually recedes, satellite data shows that Africa rose in relation to sea level, and its Drakensberg mountains are now the highest on the planet. As the arks set sail for the Cape of Good Hope, Jackson reconciles with his family, and Adrian starts a relationship with Laura. The movie ends with a view of the Earth revealing all continents have merged, and are in the shape of the African continent.

        Comment

        • Buford T Scoggins
          Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
          True Christian™
          • Aug 2007
          • 911

          #5
          Re: Movie review: 2012

          The movie ends with a view of the Earth revealing all continents have merged, and are in the shape of the African continent.
          This proves that ACORN and Obama (born in Kenya!) are behind this nefarious plot to destroy the Earth! Plus Al Gore and the other global warmers are no doubt responsible for the rising tides and tidal waves. This is the goal of their New World Order - to destroy the Earth!

          Of course, The Lord does indeed plan to destroy the Earth anyway, as punishment for abortion, gay marriage and socialized medicine. But we True Christians will be Raptured just in time, so we really needn't worry.

          Praise the Lord!
          Brother Buford
          yours in Christ,
          Brother Buford

          sigpic

          The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
          - Rush Limbaugh

          Comment

          • Jeb Stuart Thurmond
            Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
             
            • Jun 2007
            • 6578

            #6
            Re: Movie review: 2012

            Originally posted by Jenni111 View Post
            i searched the movie for you too...Don't read it if you plan to watch it
            Good thing I don't plan to watch it.

            Could someone give this gal a second trophy?
            Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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            Comment

            • Gabriel Reproba
              Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
              The Most Honest Lawyer in America
              True Christian™
              • Nov 2009
              • 2479

              #7
              Re: Movie review: 2012

              Originally posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
              Is it possible that True Christians™ could copywrite the Bible, so that we can sue for plagerism in cases like this?
              Well, if the Attorney General of that granola-eating fruitcake factory we call Oregon can claim that the laws of Oregon are copyrighted without giggling, I assume we can copyright the good ole KJV1611 in the name of Christ!
              Yours In Christ,

              Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

              Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

              Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
              Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
              The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
              Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
              How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
              20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
              God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
              Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
              Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
              Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
              There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
              Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

              Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

              Comment

              • Jenni111
                Unsaved trash
                 
                • Aug 2009
                • 323

                #8
                Re: Movie review: 2012

                Originally posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
                Good thing I don't plan to watch it.

                Could someone give this gal a second trophy?
                No... I left it there for you so you don't need to search through the website

                Comment

                • Jeb Stuart Thurmond
                  Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
                   
                  • Jun 2007
                  • 6578

                  #9
                  Re: Movie review: 2012

                  Originally posted by Jenni111 View Post
                  No... I left it there for you so you don't need to search through the website
                  I guess I wouldn't want to waste any time trying to find out what the movie is like. I could have missed gems like this:

                  Originally posted by stupid movie reviewer
                  The movie ends with a view of the Earth revealing all continents have merged, and are in the shape of the African continent
                  Not only in the shape of Africa, but also the SIZE of Africa. And even going by the NAME of "Africa". Weird.
                  Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
                  Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
                  Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!

                  Comment

                  • Gothzilla
                    Unsaved trash
                    • Jul 2008
                    • 60

                    #10
                    Re: Movie review: 2012

                    I have absolutely no plans to watch this. All the new-age 2012 nonsense going around has got me fed up with it so much I'm disgusted.
                    2 Timothy 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness

                    Comment

                    • Nobar King
                      Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                      Christ's Guardian
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2007
                      • 23748

                      #11
                      Re: Movie review: 2012

                      all continents have merged, and are in the shape of the African continent
                      I don't get it. Even a bird-brained gondwonologist would know that all of the continents jammed together would be larger and a different shape than just Africa.
                      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                      Comment

                      • Buford T Scoggins
                        Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
                        True Christian™
                        • Aug 2007
                        • 911

                        #12
                        Re: Movie review: 2012

                        Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                        I don't get it. Even a bird-brained gondwonologist would know that all of the continents jammed together would be larger and a different shape than just Africa.
                        Well, them elitist liberal global warmists think that the ice in their martinis is gonna melt, which in turn will cause the oceans to rise. And that means that the land area above sea level will shrink. So it's gonna be like Noah's Arc.

                        Of course, it's all nonsense. The Earth is cooling, that's obvious. Here in Wacko, Texas, you can see it. Last August, it was so hot that if you took a pee outdoors, it would evaporate before hitting the ground. Now it's so cold, them old folks at the rest home are soaking their dentures in anti-freeze.

                        Them faggoty Euroweenies had that global warming conference in Copenhagen just as an excuse, so they could get together for a gay orgy. If they were real men, they'd be attending gun shows, like we got here in Texas.



                        yours in Christ,
                        Brother Buford
                        yours in Christ,
                        Brother Buford

                        sigpic

                        The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
                        - Rush Limbaugh

                        Comment

                        • watchmepissmyself
                          Unsaved trash, Dope addled cultist
                          • Dec 2009
                          • 38

                          #13
                          Re: Movie review: 2012

                          Originally posted by Buford T Scoggins View Post
                          Well, them elitist liberal global warmists think that the ice in their martinis is gonna melt, which in turn will cause the oceans to rise. And that means that the land area above sea level will shrink. So it's gonna be like Noah's Arc.

                          Of course, it's all nonsense. The Earth is cooling, that's obvious. Here in Wacko, Texas, you can see it. Last August, it was so hot that if you took a pee outdoors, it would evaporate before hitting the ground. Now it's so cold, them old folks at the rest home are soaking their dentures in anti-freeze.

                          Them faggoty Euroweenies had that global warming conference in Copenhagen just as an excuse, so they could get together for a gay orgy. If they were real men, they'd be attending gun shows, like we got here in Texas.



                          yours in Christ,
                          Brother Buford
                          What are you going to do with that gun
                          Should we be concerned
                          This is why Obama must take away your guns
                          Anyway there no reason you would ever need that not on this earth
                          Leviticus 20:27
                          A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them.

                          Comment

                          • Father Thomas Martin
                            Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
                            • Jul 2007
                            • 1015

                            #14
                            Re: Movie review: 2012

                            Though I assume you liked the part where the Vatican got it? (I'm offended, not because of that, but because the directors didn't show Mecca get it)
                            ACTS 5:29

                            But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
                            There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?

                            Comment

                            • Nobar King
                              Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                              Christ's Guardian
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2007
                              • 23748

                              #15
                              Re: Movie review: 2012

                              Originally posted by watchmenpissonthewall View Post
                              This is why Obama must take away your guns
                              Great. You see a picture of a gun that scares you and all of a sudden you want to throw out the Constitution? If you want to be a communist, you should go to Cuba NOW before they change back to a normal capitalist country.
                              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                              Comment

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