[LOLATHIEST]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

I'd be like.

AW, HOLLA I BE WIT HITLAH NOWZ.
LOLOLOL.

PARTAY WITH THE SATAN MOBILE WOOT WOOT.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

I'd be like.

AW, HOLLA I BE WIT HITLAH NOWZ.
LOLOLOL.

PARTAY WITH THE SATAN MOBILE WOOT WOOT.

Friend,

Beyond hell has notoriously bad reception how will be able text messaging with a demon's barbed tallwacker in your face? Even if you could get beyond the pain of having your esophagus sliced by by fish hook you would not be able to see around it's sour covered massive daddy sack for one thing.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

PARTAY WITH THE SATAN MOBILE WOOT WOOT.

LolaTheist? You worship a song about a cross-dresser?

Yes, you'll see what kind of party Satan likes when his Satanmobile is doing donuts on your hershey-highway. REPENT!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

Noddy, I must say that was one of the most beautiful and heartfelt explanations I have ever heard. I enjoyed every bit of it. Sadly, there is still the wailing and gnashing of teeth in either the physical Hell, or the ethereal one.

It is only by the personal intervention of JESUS that you were sent here to learn the TRUTH(TM) and how to cast those LSD death wafers on the well-worn carpet when the priest tries to feed you one, and to spit out that kill-aide which they insist is the actual Blood of Christ and demand that you drink it in some gory, demonic Eucharist ceremony that can do nothing more or less than sentence your soul to eternal damnation.

I sincerely hope that your dear, departed husband, may God rest his soul, converted to Christianity before our Dear Lord called him home....either to the cool cedar glens in Heaven, or to the scalding lake of sulphur in Cincinnatti (which is Italian for Sin City).

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

Yes Bobby-Joe, but ---!

Remember that I believe God and Heaven are outside the natural universe.

That's an unbiblical belief. How do you explain the Tower of Babel, from which people would be able to spy on God as he went about his private business?

According to the book of Genesis, God lives a few hundred feet above Bagdad, which explains all those helicopter crashes in a place where people are still dancing in the streets to celebrate their liberation.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

Noddy, I must say that was one of the most beautiful and heartfelt explanations I have ever heard. I enjoyed every bit of it. Sadly, there is still the wailing and gnashing of teeth in either the physical Hell, or the ethereal one.

It is only by the personal intervention of JESUS that you were sent here to learn the TRUTH™ and how to cast those LSD death wafers on the well-worn carpet when the priest tries to feed you one, and to spit out that kill-aide which they insist is the actual Blood of Christ and demand that you drink it in some gory, demonic Eucharist ceremony that can do nothing more or less than sentence your soul to eternal damnation.

I sincerely hope that your dear, departed husband, may God rest his soul, converted to Christianity before our Dear Lord called him home....either to the cool cedar glens in Heaven, or to the scalding lake of sulphur in Cincinnatti (which is Italian for Sin City).

Thank you Pastor Al, for the lovely compliment on my writing!

But seriously, it really is from the heart and mind, it's what I believe. I just cannot accept a literal HELL of fire and brimstone, and God sitting up there laughing with glee watching the souls of his created ones burning and screaming in agony. What kind of sense does that make? Let's be realistic.

Yes, of course the personal intervention of Jesus was the connection to the Divine. No, we anglicans don't think the wafer and wine are actually transubstantiated into Christ.

The Bible is a collection of stories. If you take it all literally in context you end up with an illogical mishmash of threats and ultimatums, with all the beauty removed; with not a shred of evidence to connect any of it to what we know in the observable universe and everyday world we live in today.

But ---! once you come to understand the scriptures as sacred story you will see that all the contradictions fall away, the crooked made straight and the rough places plain; and it all fits perfectly into place without changing a single word of the Bible.

But I keep explaining this over and over, using every bit of my writing ability; it cannot be understood with a fundie mindset, you have to let that go for a minute, to see what I'm talking about.

And by the way, Pastor Al ... what was that about Cincinnati? ... have you any psychic abilities perchance?

... with affection, noddy

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

....
But I keep explaining this over and over, using every bit of my writing ability; it cannot be understood with a fundie mindset, you have to let that go for a minute, to see what I'm talking about.
....

Look Noodles, you are the one with the problem. All your so-called science is nothing but "metaphor" and "poetry". No one has ever seen any of those bosons, bozos, leptons, leprechauns, electrons with "spin" (just doing a fouetté en tournant to a Minkus melody), neutrons, and figneutrons. They are all pure fantasy. All those fancy accelerators and noise could just as easily be "explained" by a bowling ball hitting some pins. Now according to you something we really have in front of us that we can see - the Bible (KJV1611), is just "metaphor" and "poetry". We just as well might read some Yeats, Wordsworth, Pope, and Dryden if we are after "poetry".

You need to get off of your Episcopalian fence sitting and come find the True Jesus.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

Look Noodles, you are the one with the problem. All your so-called science is nothing but "metaphor" and "poetry". No one has ever seen any of those bosons, bozos, leptons, leprechauns, electrons with "spin" (just doing a fouetté en tournant to a Minkus melody), neutrons, and figneutrons. They are all pure fantasy. All those fancy accelerators and noise could just as easily be "explained" by a bowling ball hitting some pins. Now according to you something we really have in front of us that we can see - the Bible (KJV1611), is just "metaphor" and "poetry". We just as well might read some Yeats, Wordsworth, Pope, and Dryden if we are after "poetry".

You need to get off of your Episcopalian fence sitting and come find the True Jesus.

Well said, Mr William JB ---!

... with affection to you too, noodles

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

The Bible is a collection of stories. If you take it all literally in context you end up with an illogical mishmash of threats and ultimatums, with all the beauty removed; with not a shred of evidence to connect any of it to what we know in the observable universe and everyday world we live in today.

But ---! once you come to understand the scriptures as sacred story you will see that all the contradictions fall away, the crooked made straight and the rough places plain; and it all fits perfectly into place without changing a single word of the Bible.

What falls away is any semblance of meaning. After all, where do you draw the line with the "sacred stories"? The homers say that the verses against sodomy are just "sacred stories" that don't need to be read literally. The magic-mushroom cultists say the same about the Gospels of Our Lord. What's left of the Bible is just whatever any piece of hellbound trash thinks God should have said.

I once witnessed to a fluffy-bunny liberal Methodist. When I asked him which parts of the Bible he considered to be inspired, he said, "The essence." He was never able to explain any working difference between the essence and the parts that he wanted to be true.

Finally, the Bible itself tells us to pay attention to the words, not the "sacred stories":

Deuteronomy 4:2: Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish [ought] from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.

Ephesians 3:3-4: How that by revelation he made known unto me the mystery; (as I wrote afore in few words, Whereby, when ye read, ye may understand my knowledge in the mystery of Christ)

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

Thank you Pastor Al, for the lovely compliment on my writing!

You are quite welcome. The innocence of the un-led lamb shines in you. Please stop the sin of Anglicanism lest it lead you into the chasm.
P. Al

And by the way, Pastor Al ... what was that about Cincinnati? ... have you any psychic abilities perchance?

... with affection, noddy

Certainly not! Psychics are witches and we burn them if their predictions turn out to be correct...or not correct. Trying to divine the future is the sole provenance of GOD. I predict we will have all of the witches eliminated by 2010.

It's simply that since the Department of Faith has been given oversight to domestic communications between citizens who are not suspected of a crime, it must be obvious that we are making a list of the faithless Athiens. A lot of them are in Ohio. We know all about them and we plan to denounce the entire coven on the first crystal-clear night of 2008, which we call, in our secret code, Krystalnacht.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

What falls away is any semblance of meaning. After all, where do you draw the line with the "sacred stories"?

Finally, the Bible itself tells us to pay attention to the words, not the "sacred stories"

Yes I see the point you are making, More Saved. The examples you give are in the extreme to the other direction; meaninglessness; a mishmash of unintelligible junk.

What can I say? try anglicanism, they have a class act going, they have the right balance ...

... you'll know it the first time you set foot in there ...

[Sister Noddy]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

Quote by me ...

Thank you Pastor Al, for the lovely compliment on my writing!

Quote by Al ...

You are quite welcome. The innocence of the un-led lamb shines in you. Please stop the sin of Anglicanism lest it lead you into the chasm.
P. Al

Awww! I've never been called a lamb before, except maybe by my mother when I was little ...

Quote by me ...

And by the way, Pastor Al ... what was that about Cincinnati? ... have you any psychic abilities perchance?

Hmmm ... I meant here that a branch of my family comes from Cincinnati ...

... noddy

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

try anglicanism, they have a class act going, they have the right balance ...

Is that why your false church is falling apart with those who are starting to feel the literal truth of the Bible on one side and touchy-feely hippies like you on the other?

How badly confused and upside-down is your so-called "church"? Wooga-wooga Negras in Africa are the most sensible of the bunch! This must be what it's like to be on LSD! Everything is topsy-turvy! Your church is so lost, the African Negras are sending missionaries to the United States of America to try and save lieberal Anglican't trash from their animal lusts!

Your "church" is lost! LOST! Just as YOU are lost because you are buying into their fluffy bunny "the Bible is a salad bar" nonsense!

I know you refuse to repent your many sins, but I will keep praying for you, and maybe one day God may decide to answer "Yes". However, if it's His will to let you keep digging your hole to Hell, so be it.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

Is that why your false church is falling apart with those who are starting to feel the literal truth of the Bible on one side and touchy-feely hippies like you on the other?

How badly confused and upside-down is your so-called "church"? Wooga-wooga Negras in Africa are the most sensible of the bunch! This must be what it's like to be on LSD! Everything is topsy-turvy! Your church is so lost, the African Negras are sending missionaries to the United States of America to try and save lieberal Anglican't trash from their animal lusts!

Your "church" is lost! LOST! Just as YOU are lost because you are buying into their fluffy bunny "the Bible is a salad bar" nonsense!

I know you refuse to repent your many sins, but I will keep praying for you, and maybe one day God may decide to answer "Yes". However, if it's His will to let you keep digging your hole to Hell, so be it.

Okay Sister MM, I've read these articles, and I'm certainly informed of the gay crisis tearing our Church to shreds. It's frustrating that I can no longer have a formal say in the matter representing our local parish, since my term on vestry was up last year. Have you read a few of my posts elsewhere on the board Mary Maria, I have said that I'm personally against homosexuality and the gay lifestyle. Very against it.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: How will the unsaved react to being tossed into the Lake of F

I'd be like.

AW, HOLLA I BE WIT HITLAH NOWZ.
LOLOLOL.

PARTAY WITH THE SATAN MOBILE WOOT WOOT.

One Anglican't 'minister' on the boards at any time is quite enough; having the pair of you here borders on the intolerable.

But seriously, it really is from the heart and mind, it's what I believe. I just cannot accept a literal HELL of fire and brimstone, and God sitting up there laughing with glee watching the souls of his created ones burning and screaming in agony. What kind of sense does that make? Let's be realistic.

Do you believe that Jesus literally rose from the dead on the third day? You have a funny definiton of "realistic."

Your church is so lost, the African Negras are sending missionaries to the United States of America to try and save lieberal Anglican't trash from their animal lusts!

"Africans woo conservative U.S. Anglicans in gay row"

That is one impressively poor choice of words.