[biza the godmocker]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I are no longer an atheist!

I know belive in the pasta monster since it makes so much sence

[Didymus Much]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I do not worship a plate of Pasta, as I have explained MANY times before.

i·dol·a·tor -noun 1. One who worships idols.

i·dol –noun 1. an image or other material object representing a deity to which religious worship is addressed.

wor·ship –verb 6. to render religious reverence and homage to.

re·vere -verb To regard with awe, deference, and devotion.

hom·age -noun 4. something done or given in acknowledgment or consideration of the worth of another

So, I see you as engaging in idolatry. Granted, it's very weak idolatry (you don't actually pray TO the pasta), but you are still revering (if only in a small way) something that is NOT your deity.

But, as the FSM is an extremely weak deity to begin with, I'm sure it doesn't mind (does the FSM actually have ANY standards at all?). Not like the True Christian™ God (who is "a Jealous God", "whose Name is Jealous", etc.). It doesn't sound like He'd be happy sharing even 0.0000000000001% of your love.

-definitions from dictionary.com

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Is not such a being absolutely worthy of our eternal praise, awe and constant thought?

Nope

An Announcement Regarding the Afterlife

3 Darning them to Heck would be a problem for a supposedly intelligent creator.
4 Lakes of fire, boiling waters, sauces, etc, aren't a good choice.
5 If you want to attract "justified" persons, portray just rewards and punishments.
6 If you want to attract lunatics and sadists, portray violent punishments.

Muellers
I a letter to the Macaronians

52 Our One Who Flies and is Saucy understands that life among beings with free will, on a planet with natural systems that cause tumult, and Scientifically Intelligently Designed by a deity who is prankish and can be peevish, should not end in eternal misery.

The Book of Emergent Patterns
Chapter 3

1 I'd like to expand on a related topic.
2 In addition to being 'a Dumbass', His Noodly Goodness has consistently shown himself to be 'a Wiseass' as well.
3 Consider for a moment all those things about our universe that seem to exist for no better reason than that the Creator felt like pulling a practical joke on us.
4 Mosquitoes. Little yappy rat-dogs. Committee meetings. Quantum Mechanics.
5 All those fossil layers put there just to trick us. Zits. The Sun and Moon appear to be the same size, setting astronomy back for generations.
6 The most vulnerable part of the male anatomy is hanging right out in front in harm's way. The food that you like will kill you, and the food your doctor wants you to eat tastes like sticks and bark.
7 Heck, the FSM (pesto be upon him) even allows fully grown humans to believe that they can eat "magic crackers" or wear "magic underwear".
8 He's got to be hovering invisibly overhead, laughing his meatballs off at us!

9 More evidence of His Smart-aleckiness has got to be His interference in any and all scientific experiments.
10 Any inconclusive experimental data is the direct result of the Touch of His Noodly Appendage.
11 If we design an experiment to detect His interference, we can only have a conclusive result by having an inconclusive result!
12 His sense of humor is readily apparent, and is also really lame and juvenile.

13 It has become quite evident that the universe is indeed out to get us, and to have a good laugh at our expense.

14 So, to follow Roy, I will have to find a name for this. I will call it

15 The Emergent Pattern of "Gotcha!"

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

The trouble with all this FSM nonsense is that all FSM does is trot out liberal platitudes, the nature of which is blindingly obvious.

God, OTOH is, without a doubt, awesome because He has Mysteries! He shows us these Mysteries but gives no explanation because we mortals could never understand them.

The Creation of the whole Universe was done merely from His Will – Man was created from dust and a woman from a spare rib! Humans will never be able to do that – He is Magnificent in the Highest!

Then the Earth was flooded deeper than Mount Everest and all the water then disappeared. And talking of water, He changed it into wine!!!

He can make animals talk, and not just parrots, things like snakes, donkeys, and EVEN TREES*! He commands bears to eat children (Have you ANY idea of how difficult it is to command a bear?) He can appear as a burning bush or like a ghost-thing that rises up to heaven.

As if this were not enough – even if you are dead, it doesn’t matter. He can either make you alive again or invite you to heaven, where you will live again for ever and ever.

And if someone has pissed you off royally, that person will go to Hell. This allows the True Christian to forgive that person whilst knowing that “He’ll get his.” Thus demonstrating God’s Followers as The Best!

Is not such a being absolutely worthy of our eternal praise, awe and constant thought?






*Yes, I know trees are not animals but it seemed a good place to put this Mystery.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I have eaten pasta before. I would not worship it though. Stop your silliness and start worshiping the Real True God

I do not worship a plate of Pasta, as I have explained MANY times before.
I do worship the One True God for HE IS The Flying Spaghetti Monster and I eat Pasta as it pleases him for me to do so.

The Book of ProvHerbs
The collected wisdom of the Pastafarians

73 An eyepatch is a sign of Good favor while wooden legs are signs that you need to watch out for cannons.
74 Blessed are the pasta-makers, they shall inherit 10 gold dubloons.
75 I think, therefore I am a pirate.
76 The early bird gets the worm, but the late worm loses the bird.
77 The early bird gets the worm, but who likes eating worms?
78 The early bird may get the worm, but the late sleeper recovers from a hangover.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Lisa I have taken the time to read the kjv1611 collected fairy tales, will you not also take the time to read the Most Holy Scriptures of The Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster? Is your faith in your imaginary friend so weak that you fear that if you read the TRUTH you will find yourself embracing the Noodly Glory and eating more Pasta?

You have nothing to fear from accepting the Truth and a lot to gain.

The Book of ProvHerbs
The collected wisdom of the Pastafarians

I have eaten pasta before. I would not worship it though. Stop your silliness and start worshiping the Real True God

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

It is good news, more useless hyperlinks I will not click on.

Lisa I have taken the time to read the kjv1611 collected fairy tales, will you not also take the time to read the Most Holy Scriptures of The Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster? Is your faith in your imaginary friend so weak that you fear that if you read the TRUTH you will find yourself embracing the Noodly Glory and eating more Pasta?

You have nothing to fear from accepting the Truth and a lot to gain.

The Book of ProvHerbs
The collected wisdom of the Pastafarians

28 You may forget with whom you laughed, but you will never forget the pirates with whom you ate pasta.
29 Where no spaghetti is, the people fall: but in the multitude of pastas there is safety.
30 Let he who is without arms, cast the first stone.
31 When a thief sees the Noodley One, all he sees are His pockets.
32 Love thy neighbor as thyself, and share pasta and rum drinks galore, for in the eyes of His Noodlitude, we are all One.
33 Let us love, not in word or speech, but in pasta and wine.
34 Kiss the cook.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Now now Lisa we have been over this many times, my sexuality (or that of tickety-boo) is of no concern of yours.

Strange, you are normally boasting about your noodle appendage.

Some good news for you though, we at the FSM Consortium have now made the Loose Canon - A most Holy Book available in your web browser you can browse it at your leisure, I have updated my signature so it is easy for you to find.

It is good news, more useless hyperlinks I will not click on.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Is tickety-boo the name of your cabin boy.
I will only give you a True Christian hug once you become a True Christian.

Now now Lisa we have been over this many times, my sexuality (or that of tickety-boo) is of no concern of yours.

Some good news for you though, we at the FSM Consortium have now made the Loose Canon - A most Holy Book available in your web browser you can browse it at your leisure, I have updated my signature so it is easy for you to find.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Oh I am feeling tickety-boo

The Book of ProvHerbs
The collected wisdom of the Pastafarians

No hugs for me today or are you feeling Jealous of tickety-boo?

Is tickety-boo the name of your cabin boy.
I will only give you a True Christian hug once you become a True Christian.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

What's the matter Jo, not feeling well. I expected something better than that.

Oh I am feeling tickety-boo

The Book of ProvHerbs
The collected wisdom of the Pastafarians

1 Faith is to the soul what sauce is to pasta.
2 The meaning of life can only be found at the bottom of a pasta bowl.
3 To the divine feast, the wise bringeth TicTacs, but the fool leaveth with breath most garlicky and offensive.
4 And once the garlic has been in the sauce, yea verily, thou must brush your tongue as well as your teeth, before thou layest with your wench.

No hugs for me today or are you feeling Jealous of tickety-boo?

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Got any quotes from the Wizard of Oz?
They would be as meaningful.
The True Scriptures are only to be found in the Holy Texts of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

What's the matter Jo, not feeling well. I expected something better than that.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Here are some words from Leviticus for you
Fictional drivel removed

Got any quotes from the Wizard of Oz?
They would be as meaningful.
The True Scriptures are only to be found in the Holy Texts of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

.

Here are some words from Leviticus for you

Leviticus 26
17 And I will set my face against you, and ye shall be slain before your enemies: they that hate you shall reign over you; and ye shall flee when none pursueth you.
25 And I will bring a sword upon you, that shall avenge the quarrel of my covenant: and when ye are gathered together within your cities, I will send the pestilence among you; and ye shall be delivered into the hand of the enemy
30 And I will destroy your high places, and cut down your images, and cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols, and my soul shall abhor you.
31 And I will make your cities waste, and bring your sanctuaries unto desolation, and I will not smell the savour of your sweet odours.
37 And they shall fall one upon another, as it were before a sword, when none pursueth: and ye shall have no power to stand before your enemies.
38 And ye shall perish among the heathen, and the land of your enemies shall eat you up.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

You will find out the hardway good Sir ...Do as I did learn from from the good Pastors here

Zechariah 10:2

For the idols have spoken vanity, and the diviners have seen a lie, and have told false dreams; they comfort in vain: therefore they went their way as a flock, they were troubled, because there was no shepherd.

Cast aside also your rampant homosexuality

If you fail to heed these words of God from the KJV then you are certainly doomed to burn in hell