Funerals - a fantastic opportunity to witness to the unsaved

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Funerals - a fantastic opportunity to witness to the unsaved

Hey, if you can't do the time, just don't do the crime!

So you honestly think you'd have no problem burning in eternal torment? That would explain the shameless way you go about committing crimes against God and decency.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Funerals - a fantastic opportunity to witness to the unsaved

Thank God so many of you mealy mouthed, loose lipped Catholic priests are being sent to prison where they can practice their sodomy in esrever.

Landover is a tight lipped community.. Our business stays within our walls and souls and any seeming impropriety is dealt with harshly.

You blabbermouth Catholics are good at pointing fingers and ducking bullets...but in the end you may come to realize that there has never been an aspirant to Catholic orders, both male and female, that have not witnessed obvious homosexuality and abusive sexual behavior. Sexual gossip is rife in every one of your teaching institutions for novitiates and the evidence for child sexual abuse was apparent in every diocese in the world.

So who was left to forgive you all these heinous sins? You say you didn't do anything...RIGHT... You were all GUILTY of saying and doing NOTHING!!! You didn't speak up other than to gossip to your fellow novitiates.

NO ONE, NOT ONE! came forward...Every one of you have abandoned your very own declared Catholic path to forgiveness and have damned every one of yourselves to HELL. There is not one official of the church that is NOT GUILTY...do you understand?

Sio who is going to forgive you? Doomed, you are doomed and good riddance.

I am not going to offer you anything as hope because there simply isn't any for Catholic clergy.

I will appeal to all Catholic parishioners that were never aware of sexual misconduct in their religion however. I am sure there are a few thousand and I offer them Jesus and the KJV through careful supervision and instruction from the saved here at Landover.

I suggest they send a $5000 deposit of sincerity and we will work out a payment schedule for their instruction in the path to forgiveness and the arms of our Lord Jesus Christ, Saviour and Son of God, who sits at His righthand side forever and ever...Amen

Hey, if you can't do the time, just don't do the crime!

[Professor Ogden]

Re: Funerals - a fantastic opportunity to witness to the unsaved

That would be some pretty serious prison time you'd get...(Or is it not illegal in Landover).

25 to life is nothing to play around with...

Thank God so many of you mealy mouthed, loose lipped Catholic priests are being sent to prison where they can practice their sodomy in esrever.

Landover is a tight lipped community.. Our business stays within our walls and souls and any seeming impropriety is dealt with harshly.

You blabbermouth Catholics are good at pointing fingers and ducking bullets...but in the end you may come to realize that there has never been an aspirant to Catholic orders, both male and female, that have not witnessed obvious homosexuality and abusive sexual behavior. Sexual gossip is rife in every one of your teaching institutions for novitiates and the evidence for child sexual abuse was apparent in every diocese in the world.

So who was left to forgive you all these heinous sins? You say you didn't do anything...RIGHT... You were all GUILTY of saying and doing NOTHING!!! You didn't speak up other than to gossip to your fellow novitiates.

NO ONE, NOT ONE! came forward...Every one of you have abandoned your very own declared Catholic path to forgiveness and have damned every one of yourselves to HELL. There is not one official of the church that is NOT GUILTY...do you understand?

Sio who is going to forgive you? Doomed, you are doomed and good riddance.

I am not going to offer you anything as hope because there simply isn't any for Catholic clergy.

I will appeal to all Catholic parishioners that were never aware of sexual misconduct in their religion however. I am sure there are a few thousand and I offer them Jesus and the KJV through careful supervision and instruction from the saved here at Landover.

I suggest they send a $5000 deposit of sincerity and we will work out a payment schedule for their instruction in the path to forgiveness and the arms of our Lord Jesus Christ, Saviour and Son of God, who sits at His righthand side forever and ever...Amen

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Funerals - a fantastic opportunity to witness to the unsaved

25 to life is nothing to play around with...

Is that the penalty for child buggery these days? I guess you papists keep up with such things....

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Funerals - a fantastic opportunity to witness to the unsaved

Whats 25 to life when your eternal life is at stake? I would be a martyr, and richly rewarded in Heaven.

Kidnapping is also a big sin...So, your eternal life WOULD be at stake.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Funerals - a fantastic opportunity to witness to the unsaved

That would be some pretty serious prison time you'd get...(Or is it not illegal in Landover).

25 to life is nothing to play around with...

Whats 25 to life when your eternal life is at stake? I would be a martyr, and richly rewarded in Heaven.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Funerals - a fantastic opportunity to witness to the unsaved

Dear Sister MM.
It is plainly obvious that God is speaking through you.
I have another idea that I would like to run by you.
What about using a Landover Security and Event Management Squad to kidnap at gunpoint the coffins from funerals and crematoriums and hold the dead unsaved trash for ransom?
We can then demand 2 things for the return of the coffin and corpse.

1. demand all bereaved be baptised and accept the KJV as the word of God before accepting the return of the deceased, and
2. baptise the deceased, and use the ransom money as a 'tithe' in the deceaseds name, to ensure his/her entry to heaven is assured.

That way , everyone is saved, even the dead, the ranks of believers are swelled and we fill the church coffers with ransom money to be put to use as Jesus sees fit.
(I'm actually amazed this isnt already occurring somewhere in South America, or Africa. Or even Sicily. Seriously.)

That would be some pretty serious prison time you'd get...(Or is it not illegal in Landover).

25 to life is nothing to play around with...

[lord warrior]

Re: Funerals - a fantastic opportunity to witness to the unsaved

I always go to funerals to heckle the Priests or other godless preacher doing the funeral.

The only problem I have every had was when the dead mans girls got into a cat fight over the the trailer in the nice trailer park. Got hit several times in the head with the beer cans the others were throwing. Said I was interrupting the show, the girls, not the preacher.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Funerals - a fantastic opportunity to witness to the unsaved

Dear Sister MM.
It is plainly obvious that God is speaking through you.
I have another idea that I would like to run by you.
What about using a Landover Security and Event Management Squad to kidnap at gunpoint the coffins from funerals and crematoriums and hold the dead unsaved trash for ransom?

(I'm actually amazed this isnt already occurring somewhere in South America, or Africa. Or even Sicily. Seriously.)

Actually I stand corrected. It is actually happening....really. (you'll need to cut and paste this link, Sorry)
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/04/29/wirq29.xml

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Funerals - a fantastic opportunity to witness to the unsaved

Dear Sister MM.
It is plainly obvious that God is speaking through you.
I have another idea that I would like to run by you.
What about using a Landover Security and Event Management Squad to kidnap at gunpoint the coffins from funerals and crematoriums and hold the dead unsaved trash for ransom?
We can then demand 2 things for the return of the coffin and corpse.

1. demand all bereaved be baptised and accept the KJV as the word of God before accepting the return of the deceased, and
2. baptise the deceased, and use the ransom money as a 'tithe' in the deceaseds name, to ensure his/her entry to heaven is assured.

That way , everyone is saved, even the dead, the ranks of believers are swelled and we fill the church coffers with ransom money to be put to use as Jesus sees fit.
(I'm actually amazed this isnt already occurring somewhere in South America, or Africa. Or even Sicily. Seriously.)

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Funerals - a fantastic opportunity to witness to the unsaved

Hallelujah! Sister Mary, if you were slightly less offensively female, you'd be a modern American hero. Excellent work. Remember, women may not be allowed to preach in Church, but there's nothing to stop them preaching in temples of Satan!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

I went to my Uncle Patrick's funeral yesterday. I wasn't going to, not until Jesus spoke to and inspired me.
It's a funny thing about funerals. Outside of a True Christian(tm) church, no matter what the deceased was like, what they believed, or who they worshipped in life, the "pastor", priest, imam, rabbi, voodooist, or whatever craziness they call their satanic leaders will fill the mourners heads with lies about how the deceased has gone on to a better place and is with God now. Unless they were a True Christian(tm), that is, of course, baloney and we know it, but others will keep on thinking that it's okay to not repent their sins and give their lives over to Jesus. But what can we do?
Now normally True Christians(tm) are advised to steer clear of false "churches", temples, mosques, laboratories, and mud huts. If we come across them, we should still usually do best to cross the street to avoid them or take another route altogether to our destinations unless we plan on dropping off some King James Bibles or Chick tracts at their doors. Heck, what I'm going to suggest here should only be attempted by Gold Tithers or above, as Tin Tithers could still be led astray by false promises of anyone going to Heaven no matter what.
Gold Tithers and up, go to the funerals! Bring your King James Bible, bring your faith, be prepared to fight for the souls of the living!

Ephesians 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
6:13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
6:14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
6:15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
6:16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
6:17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
6:18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
6:19 And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,
6:20 For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

My Uncle Patrick, like most of my unsaved family, was an unrepentant papist, so unfortunately he is going to be spending eternity roasting in the pits of Hell. It's too late to do anything for him. But the rest of my family? There is still a chance. The funeral was at a catlick "church", but with Jesus in my heart and my husband, Mr. Whitford, providing strong leadership, I knew I had it in me to do what was necessary.
You don't have to do it exactly the same way I did. Choose the best time to speak up. You will want to say something before you even cross the threshold to the house of false worship, but bite your tongue and wait for a more opportune moment. Don't worry, Jesus will let you know when the time is right.
In my case, I was fortunate that my husband, Mr. Whitford, has taken to bringing his secretary, Bernard, along with him everywhere he goes in case he needs someone to take dictation, and my shorthand is terrible. I know, a male secretary? I was surprised at first too, but as Mr. Whitford always says, "There's no need to take a woman out of the kitchen when you can hire a man to do the job right." What follows is a transcript of what happened.

Priest (and likely pedophile): After years of fighting the cancer that finally claimed him, Patrick is now at peace and can take comfort in the arms of God. He...
Me: LIES! LIES! LIES! Don't listen to this peddler of lies! Uncle Patrick didn't repent his sins and accept Jesus! He died an idolator and you will all die idolators unless you turn your backs on the pope and repent to God! "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king!" It's in the BIBLE! God hates idolatry! STOP PRAYING TO MARY! Galatians! "Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these" including idolatry! Corinthians! "Neither be ye idolaters, as were some of them; as it is written!" Read Leviticus! Exodus! Deuteronomy! "But thus shall ye deal with them; ye shall destroy their altars, and break down their images, and cut down their groves, and burn their graven images with fire!" Repent your...

It was there that I was physically manhandled and thrown out of the fake "church". Notice how I stuck to one concept, the worshipping of and praying to idols of Mary. Depending on where you are, you may be limited with how much time you have. You may be asked to leave like I was, or if you're at a mosque, you will want to leave before they behead you or a suicide bomber in the crowd explodes himself to shut you up and deny people the truth.
Was it worth it? My cousin Peter gave me a call this morning, asked what I meant about idolatry. That was a couple of hours ago, and I shortly after had a pastor call him back, and they just finished talking a few minutes ago. Peter is packing up and driving to Freehold even as I write this so that he can be properly baptized in a real church. PRAISE JESUS!