[Kilogram]

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

You know that is satan's ultimate trick. I give you my word as a True Christian™ that hell is just chock full of surprised atheists like you. Jesus and I will be up in Heaven laughing at you as you are forced to service satan's huge barbed tallywacker in each of your orafices. Oh how we'll laugh!

Thats pretty mean. I don't believe that at all.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

And you are supposed to be the good guys?

We're warning you away from such horrors, but you refuse to listen. And you are supposed to be the rational ones?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

Thats pretty mean. I don't believe that at all.

Satan's middle name is mean. Believe it.

[Kilogram]

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

Satan's middle name is mean. Believe it.

No. What i meant was that Jesus and god don't laugh at people suffering, that is mean.

[Two-Dollar Bill]

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

No. What i meant was that Jesus and god don't laugh at people suffering, that is mean.

Oh boohoo. Sorry to break it to you Kilogram but God isn't the type of guy that is going to hold the door open for sinners and then bake them a going away cake. Also, I'm pretty sure he has a sense of humor.

Exodus 20:5-6 "Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

And ishewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments."

[Kilogram]

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

im pretty sure god is not evil.

[Pure_Angel]

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

im pretty sure god is not evil.

Who said He was evil? Just because he sees the diffrence between good and evil, and punishes the evil, doesn't make Him evil, it makes him good!

YiC
Elisabeth

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

No. What i meant was that Jesus and god don't laugh at people suffering, that is mean.

Really?

Proverbs 1:26-27: I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh; When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.

im pretty sure god is not evil.

No, but did you know that He creates evil?

Isaiah 45:7: I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these [things].

[Mr.Warren]

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

Really?

Proverbs 1:26-27: I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh; When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.

No, but did you know that He creates evil?

Isaiah 45:7: I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these [things].

This made me laugh hysterically. Not for any reason in particular, just had a vibrant image in my head of Jesus pointing and laughing hysterically at Anne Frank.

Isaiah 45:7 is a verse I feel I shall commit to memory

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

This made me laugh hysterically. Not for any reason in particular, just had a vibrant image in my head of Jesus pointing and laughing hysterically at Anne Frank.

Isaiah 45:7 is a verse I feel I shall commit to memory

I don't know what you find so funny or lighthearted about the Word of God. The Bible is very serious business.

[worshiper29]

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

Thats pretty mean. I don't believe that at all.

What watered down gospel have you been smoking??



Rev 3:15-16 -- 15I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
16So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.


Between laughing and spewing you out of his mouth, where did you get this "Mr. Rogers queer God" that we believers know is a false god? That was just for those who are lukewarm. You aren't even lukewarm, you are cold. Satan will warm your backside good, though...and then some. Repent, listen...turn or burn!
It seems ignorance is synonymous with evil because that is the path for hell you are taking. Judgment day is coming, oh yes it is.

[Mr.Warren]

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

I don't know what you find so funny or lighthearted about the Word of God. The Bible is very serious business.

Not quite the Bible itself, more of a result of my overactive imagination

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

No. What i meant was that Jesus and God don't laugh at people suffering, that is mean.

Well first of all, Jesus is God, as you would know if you had read The Bible; JOHN 10:30.

It might be helpful if you were to read all of Psalm 2 before make idiotic comments about sources of laughter for God. Here it is:

PSALM 2

1 Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vaine thing?
2 The Kings of the earth set themselues, and the rulers take counsell together, against the Lord, and against his Anoynted, saying,
3 Let vs breake their bandes asunder, and cast away their cords from vs.
4 Hee that sitteth in the heauens shal laugh: the Lord shall haue them in derision.
5 Then shall hee speake vnto them in his wrath, and vexe them in his sore displeasure.
6 Yet haue I set my King vpon my holy hill of Sion.
7 I will declare the decree: the Lord hath said vnto mee, Thou art my sonne, this day haue I begotten thee. cf HEBREWS 1:5; 5:5
8 Aske of me, and I shall giue thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the vttermost parts of the earth for thy possession.
9 Thou shalt breake them with a rod of iron, thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potters vessell.
10 Bee wise now therefore, O yee Kings: be instructed ye Iudges of the earth.
11 Serue the Lord with feare, and reioyce with trembling.
12 Kisse the Sonne lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little: Blessed are all they that put their trust in him.
©1611

We know that Jesus will be watching the tortures in Hell, Revelation 14:10
and that all True Christians will be with Him; I Thessalonians 4:17, II Peter 1:11.

That is what it means to be Saved: The Bible tells us so. HALLELUJAH!

[DDM1985]

Re: Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

10 - I don't deny that things people have called "gods" may be out there; I just deny that they're worthy of the title of "gods".

9 - First, I have no problem with the evolutionary joke. It's always good for a laugh. Secondly, think of what each produces: dirt can produce beautiful plants, pottery, and sculptures; monkeys produce other monkeys, urine, and fecal matter.

8 - First, I'm pretty sure people could make the point that you have three parts to yourself, too: a body, a mind, and a personality. Second, What's funny about polytheism? We may never know how many people have been killed by pagans over the millennia.

7 - I find it interesting that you mention atrocities committed by Allah - which have no reason for their commission, - and the "atrocity" of killing people that burn babies alive and force their women and children into temple prostitution; not to mention murderers, people who assault vagrants, and people who oppress the poor and needy... not to mention those who rip off widows and orphans. Further, I find it interesting that you mention actual babies, whereas the Bible mentions the firstborn of every household. How old was Pharaoh's son? No idea? How do you know that the firstborn were babies, at all? It doesn't mention anything about babies, whatsoever... not to mention that nobody remembers how the Egyptians killed countless firstborn Israelite male babies... in a passage of the Bible that actually mentions babies. Thirdly, I wasn't aware that trees were an ethnicity. Are you, perhaps, referring to the nation of Arborea, from the weirdo-cartoon Chowder?
6 - Considering the fact that even secular history records the existence of Jesus of Nazareth, who was executed by the Roman government (according to their records), and nobody at that time could prove He was still lying dead anywhere on Earth - not to mention the fact that, when Paul wrote his book, 1st Corinthians, just a couple decades after Jesus' execution, which mentions over 500 witnesses of Him resurrected, most of whom were still alive at the time of the writing, - I guess there's not much to ridicule about the Gospel accounts of Jesus... in comparison to the pagan demigods, who have been shown by secular history and variations of myths alike to be either mere mortals, or nonexistent.

5 - There are four interesting things about this statement. First, you show astounding faith in current scientific theories, as if they were immutable. Second, you show extreme prejudice against any dissent from popular opinion. Third, you seem to think that evidence actually becomes fresher with time, instead of degrading over time. Finally, you seem to underestimate the intellect of the people who lived during the time the Bible was written; not to mention the people who believed it's writings, to this very day... and, those who believed what was written, especially because they lived at that time, and experienced it for themselves.

4 - Perhaps, this is why I have the title of "Unsaved Trash"... I believe children, who haven't committed any sin, don't go to Hell; nor do I believe that people who are too mentally handicapped to seek salvation on their own go to Hell.

3 - Haven't heard anybody actually speak in "tongues" yet, unless they actually studied the language. However, considering the advancements in biology - especially genetics and molecular biology, - history, archaeology, medicine, astronomy, quantum physics, etc., etc., have actually proven the Bible's statements to be true, I guess the facts actually lead me to deeper and stronger faith in Christ.

2 - I'm not sure where you get your numbers; but, I can tell you that most medical boards acknowledge the success-rate of prayer - especially on cardiac issues, - as between 60% and 80%. I wouldn't know about the success-rate of prayer in other cases; but, in my own life, I know it's worked nearly 99% of the time. The other 1% or so, I couldn't tell you about why they weren't answered... but, I like my odds so far.

1 - Considering the fact that most of the atheists I've known have made such mistakes as claiming that Lot's daughters were raped by the Sodomites, or that the Ark of the Covenant was what Noah survived the flood in, I'm fairly certain I know more about the Bible than they do. But, as I don't know you personally, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, and let you prove to me you know more, if you actually do.