Koran in a year: Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening) 1-7

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Over the past ten years you've heard a lot of talk about the Koran from Christians and republicans. You've heard us talk about the Koran with an absolute certainty which suggests that we've read and understood the whole thing. Well, now we're going to earn that certainty. Starting today, we're going to read and discuss the entire Koran, in 364 chunks. Try combining it with our Bible In A Year to see the massive contrast between the backward, intolerant, woman-hating, dark age superstition of the Koran and the progressive, egalitarian, democracy-promoting, progress-tolerating Bible.

Everything from the Koran will be Green. Quotes from muslims and their liberal apologists are blue. My commentary is black. Bible quotes and other quotes I agree with are red.

So, we start with Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening)

1:1 In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
1:2 Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds,

The Koran opens with a prayer to God. So it basically admits from the first line that God didn't write the Koran - why would God pray to Himself? And why is He always calling Himself "Allah, most benevolent, ever-merciful"? Why is he sucking up to himself? Or is He just absurdly pretentious? Does the omnipotent and omnipresent creator and ruler of the universe have some insecurity, ego wise?

Yes, the opening of the Koran looks an aweful lot like a mortal man sucking up to the boss....You'd think if Allah was really all-knowing He could have written it a bit better. He could have opened it with "Hi everybody, I'm God and to prove it, here's how to cure cancer. Also, see the Moon up there? See how I wrote "Islam is the true religion" on it? Great. Now that I've proven I'm God, on to the Koran..." But it doesn't start that way. So either Allah isn't real, or He is but doesn't want us to believe in Him anyway.

1:4 Master of the Day of Judgment,

Muslims believe that one day they will rise from their graves and be Judged by Allah. That's why they have to be buried right away. Well, maybe in the desert bones last longer, but everywhere else even bones have decayed after centuries. And if you die in a fire, or get cremated, you also miss out on the zombie apocalypse.

1:5 Thee (alone) we worship; Thee (alone) we ask for help.
1:6 Show us the straight path,

There's only one path, straight and narrow. Think different? You're an infidel. No wonder Muslim countries have no inventions, no centers of creative art. Their conformity, intolerance, and unwillingness to accept change comes from the Koran's statement that there is only one way to do things.

1:7 The path of those whom Thou hast favoured; Not the (path) of those who earn Thine anger nor of those who go astray.

A common interpretation is that these "paths" are the paths of Muslims (favored), Jews(who have earned God's anger), and Christians (astray). That's only a minority of the world's population, maybe Allah is unaware that Hindus and Chinese people exist? Funny now Allah doesn't know anything that dark-age Arabian merchants didn't already know.

So anyway, we've got God praying to himself, urging himself to show people Muslim paths, not Jewish or Christian paths. Even though Jewish and Christians have better standards of living in every way: the wealthiest religion is reform Judaism, the longest living one is Shinto-Buddhism followed by whatever the French worship, the one that won the most battles would be the Roman gods, or whatever Napoleon worshiped. The one that keeps you from being tortured and raped in Hell is Landover Baptist Church. I say, if you're choosing a path, it helps to first take a look at the destination it takes you.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Koran in a year: Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening) 1-7

Just look at the plagerism/theft! The day of judgement is plagerized from Christianity, as is the "straight path":

Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it.
Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. - Matthew 7:13-14

No wonder Muslims can't invent or be creative: they know they'll just be plagerized. No wonder Muslims nations are run by kletocrats, theft is enshrined in the Koran from the first lines!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Koran in a year: Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening) 1-7

Once again:

1:1 In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful,

Here's a tidbit from later on showing Allah's definition of "mercy":

Surah 4:56
Those who disbelieve Our revelations, We shall expose them to the Fire. As often as their skins are consumed We shall exchange them for fresh skins that they may taste the torment.

Wow - if you don't believe the Koran, muslims are supposed to burn you until your skin melts, then flay you alive, then put on new skin and start all over.

Notice is didn't say "Demons shall expose them to the fire"....Nor "Allah shall"....But "WE shall". Muslims are to become torturers.

And did you notice why they have to put the skin back on? Allah thinks that skin is where sensation come from. Medical science has proven that NERVES are where sensation comes from. Even if you have no skin, you can still feel pain.

So Allah, supposedly all-knowing, is ignorant of how the human body works, and has enshrined that ignorance for all Muslims to believe, or be burned and flayed alive by other Muslims. No wonder Muslim hospitals are terrible and Muslims die like flies from minor ailments. No wonder every time we send "hearts and minds" teams of medics into Muslim countries there are hordes of people there, almost as desperate for medical attention as they are for an opportunity to shoot the medics in the back when they leave. It's all in the Koran.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Koran in a year: Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening) 1-7

It's so obvious this Mohammed guy just made up stuff he dreamed up in his own head about God just from your first post. Fake religions are so easy to spot once you have had access to the real deal.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Koran in a year: The Cow, 2-2:15

To avoid claims that I'm quoting out of context, I'll start by posting the uninterrupted Koran, and then afterwards trying to see if any sense can be made from it.

2: The Cow

2:1 Alif. Lam. Mim.
2:2 This is the Scripture whereof there is no doubt, a guidance unto those who ward off (evil).
2:3 Who believe in the Unseen, and establish worship, and spend of that We have bestowed upon them;
2:4 And who believe in that which is revealed unto thee (Muhammad) and that which was revealed before thee, and are certain of the Hereafter.
2:5 These depend on guidance from their Lord. These are the successful.
2:6 As for the Disbelievers, Whether thou warn them or thou warn them not it is all one for them; they believe not.
2:7 Allah hath sealed their hearing and their hearts, and on their eyes there is a covering. Theirs will be an awful doom.
2:8 And of mankind are some who say: We believe in Allah and the Last Day, when they believe not.
2:9 They think to beguile Allah and those who believe, and they beguile none save themselves; but they perceive not.
2:10 In their hearts is a disease, and Allah increaseth their disease. A painful doom is theirs because they lie.
2:11 And when it is said unto them: Make not mischief in the earth, they say: We are peacemakers only.
2:12 Are not they indeed the mischief-makers ? But they perceive not.
2:13 And when it is said unto them: believe as the people believe, they say: shall we believe as the foolish believe ? are not they indeed the foolish ? But they know not.
2:14 And when they fall in with those who believe, they say: We believe; but when they go apart to their devils they declare: Lo! we are with you; verily we did but mock.
2:15 Allah (Himself) doth mock them, leaving them to wander blindly on in their contumacy.

Now, to understand what that all means:

2: The Cow

2:1 Alif. Lam. Mim.

Have no idea what this means? Guess what, neither do Muslims. They know it's arabic letters, but it doesn't seem to stand for anything.

Muslims say that the Koran is the most moving thing ever, better than any music or movie or artwork you've ever seen. I mean, something written by God has to be the most moving, fascinating, informative and just plain mind-blowing thing ever, right? Yet instead, we get a chapter called "The Cow" and a bunch of nonsense words.

Muslims say that the Koran is poetic. I don't know. I could consider some rap to be poetic. Even dirty limericks are kind of poetic. The Koran in Arabic sounds like a someone trying to hawk up phloem during an epileptic fit.

2:2 This is the Scripture whereof there is no doubt, a guidance unto those who ward off (evil).

No doubt. Every wondered why Muslims countries have no science? Now you know. Science requires doubt. And have you ever notices that ignorant people, for example teenagers, are completely certain and utterly free of doubt? That's the quickest way to spot an ignoramus, just look for the confident certainty, the total lack of doubt. So the Koran was not written by God, it was written by a teenager.

Other translations say "This is a book free from doubt and involution". Not only does the Koran have no doubt, it doesn't even have complexity!

So folks, if we find any doubt or complexity in this book, we know the author is a liar. Want to take bets as to how long that will take?

107. When We cancel a message (sent to an earlier prophet) or throw it into oblivion, We replace it with one better or one similar.

First the Koran admitted that it's not written by God, now it admits that it has contradictions.

Do you not know that God has power over all things?

Yes, Allah has power over Allah - when Allah disagrees with himself, assume the earlier Allah is the liar. Except that the Koran is not written in chronological order, so you can't tell which contradiction statement is the lie!

Yes, the Koran is not in chronological order. But surely it uses some sensible system of organization, right?

No - it's organized by how long the chapter is, first the shortest, then from longest to second-shortest. Why? Allah claims to have power over all things, yet he doesn't have enough power to come up with a sensible way of organizing his thoughts. No complexity?

Anyway, back to the Cow chapter:

2:3 Who believe in the Unseen, and establish worship, and spend of that We have bestowed upon them;
2:4 And who believe in that which is revealed unto thee (Muhammad) and that which was revealed before thee, and are certain of the Hereafter.
2:5 These depend on guidance from their Lord. These are the successful.

The Muslim definition of success is to believe in things without proof and to be ready to die.

"Empiricism is a theory of knowledge that asserts that knowledge comes only or primarily via sensory experience....Empiricism in the philosophy of science emphasizes evidence, especially as discovered in experiments. It is a fundamental part of the scientific method that all hypotheses and theories must be tested against observations of the natural world..."

So now you know why Muslim counties have no science, nor any functioning justice systems. Science and justice systems need evidence. But believing evidence, rather than invisible things, is the Muslim definition of failure.

And don't you love the irony of telling followers to believe in the invisible....And then accuse those who don't, of blindness? (It's one of many slurs Allah throws around) We're blind because we can't see what you also can't see?

And have you ever noticed how reckless Muslims are, driving like maniacs, walking around during gun battles, treating combat as a spectator sport? That sort of carelessness, which causes them to die like flies, is their definition of success. "If I live or die is Allah's will" they say. Except, of course, after they get killed when Americans or Israelis are anywhere near. Of course it's Muslims who shoot all over the place, and put their bombs in markets full of people, and cause the vast majority of the "collateral damage" - but they still blame the infidels, and hate, hate hate us...For carrying out Allah's will and sending someone to paradise to be greeted by a zillion virgins.

2:6 As for the Disbelievers, Whether thou warn them or thou warn them not it is all one for them; they believe not.
2:7 Allah hath sealed their hearing and their hearts, and on their eyes there is a covering. Theirs will be an awful doom.

Get used to the threats, there are a lot of them. You know, actual powerful people tend to be subtle with their threats. Policemen carry guns, but they don't go around pointing them at everyone and saying "ima shot y'all in the FACE!" Only two-bit thugs do that. Big dogs bark when they have to, it's only the small dogs that have to yap all the time. Allah does not talk like someone who is all-powerful, he communicates in the same fashion as ankle-biting dogs and two-bit thugs.

2:8 And of mankind are some who say: We believe in Allah and the Last Day, when they believe not.
2:9 They think to beguile Allah and those who believe, and they beguile none save themselves; but they perceive not.
2:10 In their hearts is a disease, and Allah increaseth their disease.

So the cause of unbelief is...Allah the all-merciful. Maybe Muslims should spend less time bombing us and more time trying to figure out for what sin Allah is punishing them with our existence.

A painful doom is theirs because they lie.

See what I said about the threats? Yap yap yap. Oh, and we're liars too. Not ignorant, not deluded, but we actually believe in Islam, we just say that we don't.

2:11 And when it is said unto them: Make not mischief in the earth, they say: We are peacemakers only.

Must be talking about Christians here.

2:12 Are not they indeed the mischief-makers ? But they perceive not.
2:13 And when it is said unto them: believe as the people believe, they say: shall we believe as the foolish believe ? are not they indeed the foolish ? But they know not.
2:14 And when they fall in with those who believe, they say: We believe; but when they go apart to their devils they declare: Lo! we are with you; verily we did but mock.
2:15 Allah (Himself) doth mock them, leaving them to wander blindly on in their contumacy.

See, Christians aren't Muslims because Allah likes it that way. We provide comedic relief for him or something. Our inability to see the things that muslims admit are invisible is the will of Allah. SO QUIT BOMBING US!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Koran in a year: Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening) 1-7

It's so obvious this Mohammed guy just made up stuff he dreamed up in his own head about God just from your first post. Fake religions are so easy to spot once you have had access to the real deal.

I have heard that people who revere it generally don't know what the koran actually says (because they don't read it; instead they just "recite" bits of it & since it's written a language very few of them understand [classical Arabic] they don't know what the words mean anyway!).

A bit like catholics muttering in Latin.

When I say "a bit like" I mean "identical to" but all these dogmatised types are so hooked on badmouthing one another. In reality they are not worshipping God who commanded that they all be killed

Exodus 22:20
Deuteronomy 13:13-15
Deuteronomy 17:12
II Chronicles 15:12-13
Zechariah 13:2-3
Revelation 6:1-17 where Jesus is arranging the execution of His will, directly

and who specified two categories of people in the matter

Luke 11:23 He that is not with me is against me: and he that gathereth not with me scattereth.

Everything from the Koran will be Green.
..if you're choosing a path, it helps to first take a look at the destination it takes you.

Thank you for this handy and interesting guide Mr Thurmond. Is it true that they don't know what they're reading?

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Koran in a year: Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening) 1-7

Is it true that they don't know what they're reading?

Well, huge amounts of them are illiterate in the first place...But from what I've seen of the Koran so far, and what I've seen of Muslim behavior, I'd say they follow their book pretty closely. At least, a lot closer than the majority of so-called "Christians" do.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Koran in a year: Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening) 1-7

It doesn't surprise me that we are only a couple pages into the Koran and I have already counted several references to anal sex. Muslims truly are the foulest and least natural of the beasts that God made.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Koran in a year: Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening) 1-7

It doesn't surprise me that we are only a couple pages into the Koran and I have already counted several references to anal sex. Muslims truly are the foulest and least natural of the beasts that God made.

It gets even worse. You know why gays call it "going in the back door"? They're directly quoting from the Koran.

Oh, and you know that blasphemous saying that "Beer is proof that God loves us?" Also taken from the Koran:

16:65 God sends down water from the skies and quickens the dead earth to a new birth. Here is a sign for those who listen.
16:66 And surely in cattle there is a lesson for you: We give you a drink from the extract of food in their bellies and blood-purest milk so delicious to drink;
16:67 And in fruits of the date-palm and the vine, from which you obtain inebriating drinks and excellent food. In this indeed are signs for those who understand.
16:68 Your Lord predisposed the bees to make their hives in mountains, trees and trellices,
16:69 And suck from all fruits and flit about the unrestricted paths of their Lord. A drink of various hues comes out of their bellies which contains medicine for men. In this is a sign for those who reflect.

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Koran in a year: Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening) 1-7

So, we start with Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening)

1:1 In the name of Allah...

They lost me at “allah”; the whole crap is written in the name of imaginary character which has nothing to do with our Lord, the Biblical God of Abraham!

For what we know “allah” is the moon-god, a pagan "diety" of sand nigras usually represented by the moon in its crescent phase. The Holy Bible rebukes the worship of the moon-god (see: Deuteronomy 4:19; Deuteronomy 17:3; II Kings 21:3-5; II Kings 23:5; Jeremiah 8:2; Jeremiah 19:13; Zephaniah 1:5, etc.).

YiC, DUH

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Koran in a year: Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening) 1-7

Islam is supposed to be based on the revealed word of God written verbatim by Mohammed, yes?

Well how simple is it to see that it's totally bogus? If it was the revealed word of God it would be word for word the King James Bible. But it isn't.

Glory!

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Koran in a year: Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening) 1-7

Well how simple is it to see that it's totally bogus? If it was the revealed word of God it would be word for word the King James Bible. But it isn't

Indeed!

This crap, translated into the Godly language, might even seem relatively decent on the first sight (only); but let’s check how it looks originally:

Surah 1:1

Surah 1:2

I mean...

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Koran in a year: Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening) 1-7

..For what we know “allah” is the moon-god, a pagan "diety" of sand nigras usually represented by the moon in its crescent phase. The Holy Bible rebukes the worship of the moon-god (see: Deuteronomy 4:19; Deuteronomy 17:3; II Kings 21:3-5; II Kings 23:5; Jeremiah 8:2; Jeremiah 19:13; Zephaniah 1:5, etc.).

I have heard that their crescent is not a crescent moon (but nobody who claims that seems to have an alternative). So either it is a crescent [object-other-than-the-moon] or not actually a crescent but a representation of bulls' horns or something. Both are pagan symbols.

Perhaps they imagine a zooming thing in the firmament (one that we don't know about) which occasionally obscures the sun to herald an apparition of the mahdi - once you start imagining things though any lunacy becomes possible.

Zooming things could obscure the moon too I suppose. The Bible doesn't mention them.

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Koran in a year: Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening) 1-7

I have heard that their crescent is not a crescent moon (but nobody who claims that seems to have an alternative). So either it is a crescent [object-other-than-the-moon] or not actually a crescent but a representation of bulls' horns or something. Both are pagan symbols.

Perhaps they imagine a zooming thing in the firmament (one that we don't know about) which occasionally obscures the sun to herald an apparition of the mahdi - once you start imagining things though any lunacy becomes possible...

I don’t know and don’t even want to know everything about their Godless, superstitious beliefs, but I heard they as well worship a black rock that has fallen down either from the dark side of the moon or from the firmament. Gross!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Koran in a year: Surah Al-Fatiha (The Opening) 1-7

With Mitt Romney set to be the next President I'm going to focus on a Book Of Mormon in a day project. I might come back to the rest of the Koran later.

I'm going to end with an article on Islam's supposed compassion towards the poor, the test case being Somalia.

The richest Muslims in the world live just across the waters in the Gulf states, where billions of dollars are spent on indoor skiing facilities, artificial islands to host luxury hotels and water parks, and frolicking in yachts and faux European villas. There is never a dearth of funds for magnificent mosques, but when it comes to alleviating the mass starvation of a people, Muslims are coming up short....