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  • Godless Sweden Rewards Tiny Tallywhackers

    THIS is just another example of the depravity of the nordic races. It's not bad enough that they have turned their hairless backs on Jesus, but now they're actually rewarding tiny tallywhackers. God can't like this at all. Just look at the depraved gutter-talk that goes on over there!

    Small Penis Contest In Denmark A Big Deal, Sex Experts Say

    It's the little things that matter.

    At least that's the case in a Denmark-based competition that is offering an iPhone to the man with the smallest penis.

    The contest is sponsored by erotica website Singlesex.dk, and site owner Morten Fabricius admits the idea is "weird and funny and almost too much.”

    “It’s a competition which is at the core of manhood, the most important thing for a man," he said, according to RawStory.com. "There are so many unhappy men out there, who think you have to have a giant penis, but it’s not normal to have a huge one.”

    Contestants are asked to send a photo to the website of their erect sex organ with measuring tape next to it.

    The man with the smallest penis will win an iPhone, as will another fellow who will be chosen by the site's female, er, members. Guys who come in second and third place will get an iPad.

    The small penis contest has only been going on a short time, but the site has already received a half dozen photos that Fabricius said are being "vetted" to ensure they haven't been stolen.

    As much as he sees the humor of the contest, Fabricius insists there's a serious side as well: The competition exposes a problem that rarely sees the light of day.

    “Everything has to be bigger, and bigger, and bigger,” he said, according to the Australian. “It’s incredible how the media has frightened people from showing themselves as they are,” he said, in part referring to the porn industry.

    Entries for the smallest penis contest will be accepted through Jan. 31, and sex experts believe it may have some positive benefits.

    Sex educator Jamye Waxman believes that it's good to get small penises out in the open.

    "The average penis is 5.5 inches and all of the guys who are below average will see that they're not alone," she told The Huffington Post. "It's a good opportunity for guys to accept what they've got."

    Lora Somoza, a sex columnist for L.A. Weekly and The Huffington Post, agrees that being open about what you have is better than trying to "act cocky" or be in denial, but wonders if a competition is the way to go about it.

    "I don't know how it's going to be helping people," she told HuffPost. "Whoever enters must want an iPad really bad."

    But Sam Phillips, a former Penthouse Pet who now hosts "The Single Life," a radio show on Sirius XM, believes the contest will not only benefit guys with cocktail-weenie-sized penises, but also women like her.

    "I personally prefer smaller penises," she told HuffPost. "I like the penis to hit my G-spot, not my cervix. These guys should be celebrated, not castrated."

    Phillips believes the men who enter the contest may not be expecting the swell of appreciation they will get for their miniature members.

    "The guys will be surprised with the support they get from women," she said. "Most of the time with size, it's not about the penis, but the size of the Rodimer."
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

  • #2
    Re: Godless Sweden Rewards Tiny Tallywhackers

    The sex perverts of the frozen north makes the Catholics in soutern Europe look tame in comparison, i live here so i know, can you imagine living in this place as a Christian like me?

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    • #3
      Re: Godless Sweden Rewards Tiny Tallywhackers

      Wow...haven't been here in like 6 months and you guys still haven't improved at ALL. For shame.
      And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. Revelation 12:9

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      • #4
        Re: Godless Sweden Rewards Tiny Tallywhackers

        Originally posted by Roses224 View Post
        Wow...haven't been here in like 6 months and you guys still haven't improved at ALL. For shame.
        I'm unaware of any way the members and clergy of Landover Baptist Church could improve.

        In addition, we are not open to suggestions for improvement.
        Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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        • #5
          Re: Godless Sweden Rewards Tiny Tallywhackers

          Originally posted by Roses224 View Post
          Wow...haven't been here in like 6 months and you guys still haven't improved at ALL.
          True Christians™ are perfect. There is no room for improvement for those of us who abide in righteousness. You wouldn't have to be spoonfed such Bible Facts if you would just open your heart to Jesus and read the Holy Bible (KJV1611) for yourself.
          II Thessalonians 1:7-9
          And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
          In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
          Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



          The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Godless Sweden Rewards Tiny Tallywhackers

            That's sickening, rewarding one of the key symptoms of lead deficiency.
            What's next, rewarding iron deficiency?

            But I'm sure they will appreciate the prices, as Apple products are optimized for gay thinking. Real men know where they store their files and prefer straight micro usb chargers.

            sigpicCorporal Punishment Advisor, U.S. Department of Family Values
            Cyber-bullying Instructor, Christian Commission on Human Rights
            Apple CEO is gay - Important DFV security considerations
            Higgs field theory disproved - Universe is a cotton field
            Viagra forces man to have his penis amputated

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Godless Sweden Rewards Tiny Tallywhackers

              All those Godless foreigners seem to be obsessed with their talleywackers.
              If God had wanted us to display them, He would would of put it on our foreheads and not tucked down inside our pants.
              I hope those people get burnt from the flashcubes.
              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Godless Sweden Rewards Tiny Tallywhackers

                Well I guess a small dick contest is the only competition where the Eskimos will win hands down over Gods Favorite Nation
                Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division - Luke 12:51

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Godless Sweden Rewards Tiny Tallywhackers

                  Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
                  I'm unaware of any way the members and clergy of Landover Baptist Church could improve.

                  In addition, we are not open to suggestions for improvement.
                  How about by not being the one to condemn nations based on your own narrow way of thinking? There's a start.

                  Originally posted by Jedediah View Post
                  True Christians™ are perfect. There is no room for improvement for those of us who abide in righteousness. You wouldn't have to be spoonfed such Bible Facts if you would just open your heart to Jesus and read the Holy Bible (KJV1611) for yourself.
                  Heh. Looks like you are the one in need of "Bible Facts". Do you not know that the only kind of perfection attainable in this life is by following the word of God? Does that contradict your self-righteous and arrogant existence? Hmm.
                  And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. Revelation 12:9

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Godless Sweden Rewards Tiny Tallywhackers

                    Originally posted by Roses224 View Post
                    How about by not being the one to condemn nations based on your own narrow way of thinking? There's a start.


                    Heh. Looks like you are the one in need of "Bible Facts". Do you not know that the only kind of perfection attainable in this life is by following the word of God? Does that contradict your self-righteous and arrogant existence? Hmm.
                    Hmmm... You walked into that one did you not?

                    Thank you for stating clearly what we are already aware of. We know that in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven and to gain God's Grace we are required to live by the Holy Bible and follow It's Message to the letter.

                    So in trying to make us look foolish with your peurile vitriol you have, instead, made yourself look like an ass by telling us what we already know.

                    Proverbs 12:23

                    A prudent man concealeth knowledge: but the heart of fooles proclaimeth foolishnesse.
                    Isaiah 66:15

                    For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Godless Sweden Rewards Tiny Tallywhackers

                      Hmmm....the is this contest open to everybody or just those in...er uh, yeah I couldn't possibly have one anyway because I'm far too modest baby!

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