[Osambo 08]

Re: Making children behave in Church.

You obviously don't love Him enough to read His Word. Pull the wrapper off of your Bible.

I've begun reading Genesis ,but I have to admit that it's VERY EXTREMELY TREMENDOUSLY INCREDIBLY STAGGERINGLY boring.I wish there was an alternative to reading the King James version.Are the other versions hellbound?Or,could I watch a 9-hour movie instead?

[Jean Poole]

Re: Making children behave in Church.

I've begun reading Genesis ,but I have to admit that it's VERY EXTREMELY TREMENDOUSLY INCREDIBLY STAGGERINGLY boring.I wish there was an alternative to reading the King James version.Are the other versions hellbound?Or,could I watch a 9-hour movie instead?

No, but you can have an eternity in Hell instead.

As for your blasphemous statement about the Book of Genesis, you will be forced to read it in Hell by the Devil, because Satan knows that to read the Good Book is torture for ones as yourself. For True Christians™, it is like swimming in paradise.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Making children behave in Church.

I've begun reading Genesis ,but I have to admit that it's VERY EXTREMELY TREMENDOUSLY INCREDIBLY STAGGERINGLY boring.I wish there was an alternative to reading the King James version.Are the other versions hellbound?Or,could I watch a 9-hour movie instead?

In terms of modernization of language, the NIV is much easier to read, but the content isn't improved.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Making children behave in Church.

In terms of modernization of language, the NIV is much easier to read, but the content isn't improved.

Huge surprise that you'd recommend the devil's "Bible" over the real Bible.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Making children behave in Church.

I've found that getting them drunk helps them sleep through sermons.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Making children behave in Church.

Huge surprise that you'd recommend the devil's "Bible" over the real Bible.

The original texts are in Hebrew and Greek - Jesus didn't walk about Palestine speaking Elizabethan English.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Making children behave in Church.

Cattle prods are also good for zapping the little darlings at a distance.

I never leave home without one. You never know when you have to zap some unruly brat.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Making children behave in Church.

Cattle prods are also good for zapping the little darlings at a distance.

I never leave home without one. You never know when you have to zap some unruly brat.

Just because you seem to enjoy being abused doesn't give you the right to administer electrical shocks to children. For that matter, I think the use cattle prods on cattle is cruelty to animals.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Making children behave in Church.

Just because you seem to enjoy being abused doesn't give you the right to administer electrical shocks to children.

But God does.

For that matter, I think the use cattle prods on cattle is cruelty to animals.

"Cruelty to animals" is a nonsensical concept:

Genesis 9:2: And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth [upon] the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; into your hand are they delivered.

[Chemistry]

Re: Making children behave in Church.

The link to this thread was given to me.

Very helpful information here, thank you for taking the time to make this thread.
I have bookmarked it.

[Sidoain]

Re: Making children behave in Church.

I've found that getting them drunk helps them sleep through sermons.

Do you want our child to listen and be calm or do you want him to sleep and miss the whole church day? Make your mind!

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Making children behave in Church.

The link to this thread was given to me.

Very helpful information here, thank you for taking the time to make this thread.
I have bookmarked it.

Be careful though, secular law is against the use of electronic collars. Although I think they're very helpful. Especially the Tri-Tronics Pro 100. Up to a mile range comes in VERY handy.

I still don't know why it's okay to use them on my dogs, but not the kids.