Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

As you know, the Good Lord decided to say "Yes!" to our prayers and I am now bearing my husband's heir. We're sure Jesus will continue to answer our prayers and make this child a boy, but Mr. Whitford is still trying to think of a name for the little tyke. This is what he's got so far...

Joseph Ashley Whitford Jr.

Ronald Wilson Reagan Whitford

George Walker Bush Whitford

Fredrick Albert Ezekiel Whitford

Matthew Mark Luke John Whitford

John Wayne Whitford

He would appreciate any suggestions from the menfolk of the congregation, or your preferences on the above names.



WARNING: If any unsaved liberal trash even thinks of suggesting "Barack Hussein Whitford", "William Jefferson Whitford", or any other such abomination you will be infracted!

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

Leviticus or Deutrononmy

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

Hmmm. Leviticus Deuteronomy Whitford. I will pass it on to my husband for consideration.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

Hmmm. Leviticus Deuteronomy Whitford. I will pass it on to my husband for consideration.

Kind of rolls off the tongue. I think you got it right.

[Nobar King]

Re: Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

Whatever you do, don't name him Jesus, or people will think he's a beaner.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

Hmmm. Leviticus Deuteronomy Whitford. I will pass it on to my husband for consideration.

People will call him 'Levi' or 'LD'. I suppose that's OK since Bristol's soon-to-be-husband is named Levi. One good thing about Alaska: They sure are Biblical!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

People will call him 'Levi' or 'LD'. I suppose that's OK since Bristol's soon-to-be-husband is named Levi. One good thing about Alaska: They sure are Biblical!

Ooooooh. "LD". I don't want people thinking he's a Mormon. But it is up to my husband, Mr. Whitford, though I don't think he'll care for those initials either.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

Whatever you do, don't name him Jesus, or people will think he's a beaner.

Actually... Jesus Micheal Phelps Whitford seems to be a perfect name. I am certain there is either a Mexican, a miracle or a mighty swimmer in this child's direct lineage.


Has anyone suggested Benedict?


Bless you, my corpulent corn-huskers,
Father Mo


.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

Ooooooh. "LD". I don't want people thinking he's a Mormon. But it is up to my husband, Mr. Whitford, though I don't think he'll care for those initials either.

How about Artemus Pistle Ellijah Whitford?

[Nobar King]

Re: Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

How about Wake Oliver Whitford?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

How about Wake Oliver Whitford?

Oliver is too gay! Like Cecil or Percy. Ugh.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

All the suggestions have been passed on to Mr. Whitford except for Lester's. His status with Landover Security has been upped to "Definite Threat". My unsaved papist family have so far suggested both "Benedict" and "John Paul", resulting in whole boxes of Chick tracts being dumped on their heads.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

Well, Tripp and Track have been taken....How about Trunk?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

All the suggestions have been passed on to Mr. Whitford except for Lester's. His status with Landover Security has been upped to "Definite Threat". My unsaved papist family have so far suggested both "Benedict" and "John Paul", resulting in whole boxes of Chick tracts being dumped on their heads.

There is always George W. Whitford, or John Wayne Whitford. I'd stay away from Richard Simmons Whitford, Ichabod (Ipod) Whitford and things like that.

[JennyD]

Re: Help my husband, Mr. Whitford, choose a name for our baby!

How about Edward William Whitford?

If it were a girl, Suze Orman Whitford would imply that she was financially astute, as all Christian women should be, what with managing the household budget and servants.