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ATTENTION: THIS THREAD CONTAINS IMAGES THAT SHOULD MOST CERTAINLY BE OFFENSIVE TO ANY REAL GODLY PARENT! LADY-LIKE WOMEN AND CHILDREN UNDER 21 SHOULD NOT PROCEED! TRUE CHRISTIAN CONTENT RATING: EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE!
Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST, and especially those of you who are parents, I am calling for an immediate boycott of WHEATIES, the so-called "breakfast of champions."
Mrs. Fore went grocery shopping as she does every week, and brought home a box of Wheaties. As she was putting away the groceries, my eyes were immediately drawn to one of the most sickening displays of sexual depravity and eroticism to ever be forced into my True Christian mind!
See for yourself:
HORRORS! I nearly screamed when I saw the enormous protruding bulge struggling to rip free of the constraining pants worn by this perverted "athlete," Bryan Clay. It's VERY clear to see, two bulbous orbs and a short, fat tallywacker atop of them! It's just wrong!
I immediately grabbed Mrs. Fore and slammed her up against the pantry and demanded an explanation as to why she would purchase a box of cereal that promoted such attire for young, muscular men. I slapped her across the face a few times for being a depraved whore and told her NEVER to bring home anything with a man on it ever again.
I then took the box into my study to observe what kind of horrible messages this has been designed to slip into our minds. I have been studying it with a magnifying glass for the last two hours, and all I can conclude is that the images are there to sell Wheaties to homosexuals and dirty she-whores!
Imagine seeing this EVERY morning, as you shovel big piles of whole wheat cereal into your mouth, covered with white milk.
I fully expect that a sudden increase in unmarried teen recreational sex will be the result of this horrible campaign of debauchery!
Parents, do NOT purchase any more Wheaties for your children! Their very souls may be at risk if they see the image above! If it is too late, obtain a chastity belt as quickly as possible for your daughters, and tell your sons that a REAL man dresses in crotch-concealing pants and shirts that cover their arms to the elbow!
In GOD's holy name,
Amen!
Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST, and especially those of you who are parents, I am calling for an immediate boycott of WHEATIES, the so-called "breakfast of champions."
Mrs. Fore went grocery shopping as she does every week, and brought home a box of Wheaties. As she was putting away the groceries, my eyes were immediately drawn to one of the most sickening displays of sexual depravity and eroticism to ever be forced into my True Christian mind!
See for yourself:
HORRORS! I nearly screamed when I saw the enormous protruding bulge struggling to rip free of the constraining pants worn by this perverted "athlete," Bryan Clay. It's VERY clear to see, two bulbous orbs and a short, fat tallywacker atop of them! It's just wrong!
I immediately grabbed Mrs. Fore and slammed her up against the pantry and demanded an explanation as to why she would purchase a box of cereal that promoted such attire for young, muscular men. I slapped her across the face a few times for being a depraved whore and told her NEVER to bring home anything with a man on it ever again.
I then took the box into my study to observe what kind of horrible messages this has been designed to slip into our minds. I have been studying it with a magnifying glass for the last two hours, and all I can conclude is that the images are there to sell Wheaties to homosexuals and dirty she-whores!
Imagine seeing this EVERY morning, as you shovel big piles of whole wheat cereal into your mouth, covered with white milk.
I fully expect that a sudden increase in unmarried teen recreational sex will be the result of this horrible campaign of debauchery!Parents, do NOT purchase any more Wheaties for your children! Their very souls may be at risk if they see the image above! If it is too late, obtain a chastity belt as quickly as possible for your daughters, and tell your sons that a REAL man dresses in crotch-concealing pants and shirts that cover their arms to the elbow!
In GOD's holy name,
Amen!
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