Faygo Makes Children Gay - Banned in Freehold!

[Ebenezer Wright]

Re: Faygo Makes Children Gay - Banned in Freehold!

One can be certain that Faygo is trying to turn kids queer based solely on the flavors the company sells. Here's just a sample:

• Candy Apple
• Coconut Cream Pie
• Raspberry Creme
• Mango Tango
• Orange Chug
• Kiwi Strawberry
• Vanilla Creme
• Chocolate Creme Pie
• Jazzin' Blues Berry
• Key Lime Pie

Just thinking about their chocolate cream pie flavor makes me gag. Perverts!

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Faygo Makes Children Gay - Banned in Freehold!

One can be certain that Faygo is trying to turn kids queer based solely on the flavors the company sells. Here's just a sample:

• Candy Apple
• Coconut Cream Pie
• Raspberry Creme
• Mango Tango
• Orange Chug
• Kiwi Strawberry
• Vanilla Creme
• Chocolate Creme Pie
• Jazzin' Blues Berry
• Key Lime Pie

[JennyD]

Re: Faygo Makes Children Gay - Banned in Freehold!

That's a good practice for Faygo and for Fags, yo!

Do you avoid the Juggalos, too? (I hear they worship the Faygo like the Catholics worship wine.)

That's true, Rev. Rod!

http://www.city-data.com/forum/religion-philosophy/439924-juggalo-faith.html

The Juggalo Religion believes (I'm not a juggalo):

-One should be themselves
-Juggalos are family
-Faygo is a holy drink
-ICP are the best band ever

I think Juggalosers are very much like Catholics. Hellbound, that is.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Faygo Makes Children Gay - Banned in Freehold!

I have a name for Faygo I've used for years. Faggo, I've always hated it and I refuse to ever let a bottle or can touch my hand let alone enter my mouth.

That's a good practice for Faygo and for Fags, yo!

Do you avoid the Juggalos, too? (I hear they worship the Faygo like the Catholics worship wine.)

[UnSavedSinceIwas12]

Re: Faygo Makes Children Gay - Banned in Freehold!

I have a name for Faygo I've used for years. Faggo, I've always hated it and I refuse to ever let a bottle or can touch my hand let alone enter my mouth.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Faygo Makes Children Gay - Banned in Freehold!

I am engaged to a wonder girl.

A wonder girl? Is that like Wonder Bread?

And what Godless, lesbian-marriage-promoting state do you live in?

[Nobar King]

Re: Faygo Makes Children Gay - Banned in Freehold!

Not to mention that your first name is literally 'gay'. Don't expect me to believe that your parents gave you that name and your name made you gay.

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Re: Faygo Makes Children Gay - Banned in Freehold!

How absurd. I drink Faygo all the time. Where is your proof?
I've been drinking the wonderous soda for 4 years, and I have no trace of homosexuality in me. In fact, I am engaged to a wonder girl. So, show me the proof. Until then this is just a crock of bullshit.

Uh let's see....
Your name is Peggy...
Your SN admits you are gay...
And you are getting married to another female.

Does that suffice?

[gaypeggy]

Re: Faygo Makes Children Gay - Banned in Freehold!

How absurd. I drink Faygo all the time. Where is your proof?
I've been drinking the wonderous soda for 4 years, and I have no trace of homosexuality in me. In fact, I am engaged to a wonder girl. So, show me the proof. Until then this is just a crock of bullshit.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Faygo Makes Children Gay - Banned in Freehold!

I never thought I would see such a thing, Faygo furry orgies for children – disgusting.

[JennyD]

What's the worst thing to come out of Detroit?

The Chevy Volt?

NO!

It's Faygo!

Faygo is not merely another high fructose corn syrup-based tooth-rotting and diabetes-encouraging soft drink. No!

Faygo is not simply a means for failing Detroit automakers to dispose of contaminated automatic transmission fluid and other toxic chemicals. No!

Faygo is not accidentally clothed in bright, "gay" colors. No!

This leading product in the homosexual agenda actually contains an addictive "mystery ingredient" which causes kids to turn gay!

Even the name tells us what it's all about. Faygo is an anagram for "Fo' Gay" and also "Yo, Fag"!

According to Professor Bessemer's recent study, seven out of ten mothers of recently-treated ex-homosexual children surveyed said that their kids had not displayed any Sodomite tendencies until they brought home Faygo from the Freehold Mini-Mart. Any!

Their kids rapidly became addicted to the soft drink, and other things I will not mention.

Each and every one of these mothers, when asked whether their poor parenting or the Faygo were to blame for their child's perversion, pointed a finger firmly at the colorful bottle on the table. That was plenty for the Town Council!

Pastor Ezekiel has informed me that Faygo has now been banned in Freehold. All stores have been directed to return Faygo to the distributor for a refund.

Anyone with Faygo in their homes is instructed to have your boys load it into their red wagons and haul it over to Pastor Ezekiel's estate. He will interview each boy privately to ensure that he is not infected with the gayness, and will place those which have been so infected directly into therapy in the Betty Bowers BASH (Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals) program.

Please be sure to provide a little extra in the offering plate, or perhaps send some cherry pie Pastor's way. He's taking a great risk here, and going well beyond the call of duty!