[Faith_Machine]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

We can not know God's mind, and we may never know His reason for removing His hand of protection from that Airbus, but my faith in the Airbus company is shaken.

Why not go with a trusted brand, such as Boeing? If their 747 is good enough to be Air Force One, it's probably up to serving the needs of this church.

Wouldn't this look nice in Landover Livery™?

[Jim Farmer]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

It turns out there's a problem with Airbus planes experiencing sudden, un-commanded descent, and it may have played a role in the recent Germanwings disaster:

Germanwings Airbus A320 plane crash: Safety alert was issued to jet just four months ago


I believe God arranged for that disaster to happen when it did so that our beloved pastor would be warned not to travel via this unsafe brand of airplane.

Isn't God wonderful?

There are 2 reasons why that argument is irrelevant.
1. Secular argument. TheA320 was designed to transport cattle and Africans. The A380 is the flagbearer of the Airbus designs and was designed for the world's elite - which does not include cathlick Spanish or atheist Germans.
2. God's argument. God chose to smite that aircraft for a bit of fun as it was full of Cathlicks and Nazis. He would not smite Pastor Ezekiel's plane.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

It turns out there's a problem with Airbus planes experiencing sudden, un-commanded descent, and it may have played a role in the recent Germanwings disaster:

Germanwings Airbus A320 plane crash: Safety alert was issued to jet just four months ago


I believe God arranged for that disaster to happen when it did so that our beloved pastor would be warned not to travel via this unsafe brand of airplane.

Isn't God wonderful?

[Jim Farmer]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I'm sorry but I won't be able to allow anyone on the plane unless they are Platinum Tithers (or above), and then only on special occasions.

I'm sure you understand.

I think that goes without saying. But there are some platinum tithers who are getting elderly, aren't there? But we will to carry some menials - chefs, cleaners, maids etc.
The UT I was concerned about are people like the CIA under Obama's direction, and Creflo's spies - those sorts of people who will do all they can to evade our security.

Wishing to upgrade to a platinum tither, please.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

The elevator will have leather chesterfields on each side with a mirror on the back wall. The walls will be gilt. Much like the picture shown by Borther Elmer. Piped music of angels singing hymns.
The buttons will read.

• Pastor Ezekiel Flint (upper level)
• Landover Baptist members only (lower level)
• Unsaved Trash (waste disposal unit. This is in case any of them sneak in)
• In case of emergency (a cabinet containing a KJV Bible will open)
• In case of rapture (the elevator will become the ejector seat)

Note: there will be no up or down buttons, otherwise Pastor Ezekiel will never get rid of some of the older members of the entourage who always want to be closer to Heaven.

I'm sorry but I won't be able to allow anyone on the plane unless they are Platinum Tithers (or above), and then only on special occasions.

I'm sure you understand.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

The elevator will have leather chesterfields on each side with a mirror on the back wall. The walls will be gilt. Much like the picture shown by Brother Elmer. Piped music of angels singing hymns.
The buttons will read.

• Pastor Ezekiel Flint (upper level)
• Landover Baptist members only (lower level)
• Unsaved Trash (waste disposal unit. This is in case any of them sneak in)
• In case of emergency (a cabinet containing a KJV Bible and a bottle of the finest Scotch will open)
• In case of rapture (the elevator will become the ejector seat)

Note: there will be no up or down buttons, otherwise Pastor Ezekiel will never get rid of some of the older members of the entourage who always want to be closer to Heaven.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Speaking of design, when Pastor Zeke learned there would be an upstairs and downstairs inside the aircraft, he asked about an elevator. I told him I've not heard of elevators on aircraft, but I would check it out. Anyone who has information on this please post it.

On behalf of the New Jet Aircraft Committee, I want to thank everyone for their help on our project.

Verily, Mr. Mayor, there are elevators even in the tiniest of airplanes (please see image below) so it cannot be a problem to fit one into our good Pastor's aeolian vehicle.


We've seen Brother Jim's talent in interior design so I would leave the intricasies of decorating to him. Just for inspiration, I have here an example of a decent elevator.


And, obviously, an elevator has also Spiritual ramifications!

Isaiah 14:14
I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.

These are going to be exciting times with dozens of new saved souls (benefit) at a moderate expense (cost).


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[GOD=life]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

The extravagance of an airplane seems unholy and almost obscene when there are starving children in the world.

I respectfully demur: an airplane is the fastest form of physical travel. There are starving children all over the world in far-apart regions. With an airplane it will be much easier to spread True Christianity to those who need it and pray with them.

Spiritual nourishment trumps the physical every time. The worst that can happen to the children's physical bodies is that they live a few years less. That is not so for the immortal soul.

It should be researched if it is possible to the KJV 1611 Bible-droppings over more remote areas so that the plane need not land there.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I'd hate to see your pie shop burn to the ground, little lady.

The Committee understands the concerns some Landover Baptist Church members have about the cost of Pastor Zeke's new aircraft. We need to see the big picture here.

The best way to see that big picture is to ask, "Would Jesus be more pleased if we spent less and fewer souls were saved for Him?" We all know the answer to that question is a resounding NO!

Pastor Zeke sees this so clearly, he has little patience for those who are blind to it.

We on the Committee are feeling a lot of pressure to get the fund raising in high gear and get the process of manufacturing the aircraft started. We would appreciate it if folks would stay positive, keep providing ideas and let the Committee wrap up the design phase.

Speaking of design, when Pastor Zeke learned there would be an upstairs and downstairs inside the aircraft, he asked about an elevator. I told him I've not heard of elevators on aircraft, but I would check it out. Anyone who has information on this please post it.

On behalf of the New Jet Aircraft Committee, I want to thank everyone for their help on our project.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

The extravagance of an airplane seems unholy and almost obscene when there are starving children in the world. I have to agree with Faith Machine; we must bring our spending in check! Even if FM has kidnapped Cookie and she is never to be seen again unless she escapes his vile prison, we must listen to his keen advice and stop this nonsense.

I'd hate to see your pie shop burn to the ground, little lady.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

The extravagance of an airplane seems unholy and almost obscene when there are starving children in the world. I have to agree with Faith Machine; we must bring our spending in check! Even if FM has kidnapped Cookie and she is never to be seen again unless she escapes his vile prison, we must listen to his keen advice and stop this nonsense.

[its_faith]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

It lifts my heart to see church funds go to something worthwhile then something utterly useless like helping the poor.

[Roland]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Ivory is great material and shooting those animals must be a real fun!

Actually - have you planned to make a weapon room?
[...]

You must also have opportunities to relax, after hard GOD's work!!!

This is certainly a must-have! Perhaps we can add yet another feature: Gun turrets!

Just imagine: Gliding gracefully over the wild African lands in your A380 and decimating those herds of Impala or whatever they have running around there having some nice target shooting.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brother Farmer,

Obviously we'll have to wait what our Pastor thinks of this but I find your designs most uplifting. If possible, you could perhaps also consider the question of materials. I consulted the Bible, as we should. The recommendations are as follows:

2 Chronicles 9:21
For the king's ships went to Tarshish with the servants of Huram: every three years once came the ships of Tarshish bringing gold, and silver, ivory, and apes, and peacocks.

Amos 6:4
That lie upon beds of ivory, and stretch themselves upon their couches, and eat the lambs out of the flock, and the calves out of the midst of the stall;

Revelation 18:12
The merchandise of gold, and silver, and precious stones, and of pearls, and fine linen, and purple, and silk, and scarlet, and all thyine wood, and all manner vessels of ivory, and all manner vessels of most precious wood, and of brass, and iron, and marble.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

No plastic will be permitted in the upper level (Pastor Zeke's quarters).

I would like all timbers to be rare and critically endangered, such as mun ebony, brownheart and malau to demonstrate how our pastor deserves only the rarest and best.
Ivory is also a wonderful material and demonstrates Christianity's domination over the lowly beasts.

Gold and diamond, rubies and sapphires, emeralds and pearls should be conspicuous throughout, both on the interior and exterior of the plane. This will show those nigro false preachers who is actually important. But the lower parts of the plane exterior should be devoid of gold and jewels, otherwise Creflo's thieving pie-stealing lackeys will be coming ahunting.

Fabrics - the finest silks, satins and velvets only for our Pastor Zeke. These days, linen can be a little harsh on the skin, don't you think?

And I think Brother Marko's idea for an armoury is excellent.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I'll be damned if I'm going to let our beloved Pastor be one-upped by a Darkie mumbo-jumbo mumbler! To borrow from the Jive terminology, God gotta represent, Word!

I have $17 million in my bug-out bag that I'm dropping off this evening. Then I'm dusting off the old Revival tent and hitting the road this spring. I'm not going to stop pushing the Faith until we have the money to get our Pastor a plane worthy of a True Representative of the One True God. Glory!

God bless you, Brother Des. Money is coming is as well as great ideas for how the aircraft will be equipped. I'm praying the Pastor Zeke will like what we are doing.

When you think about it, this aircraft could change the world. Pastor Zeke will be able to tell more people about Jesus Christ. This will frustrate Muslim efforts to convert the world.

Let's all pledge our money and efforts to see that this aircraft is ready for the Pastor ASAP.