How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

That seems like a wonderful idea! However, my number 1 defense is prayer, and I pray that God will protect me from negros (following Matthew 7:7). My number 2 defense is modest clothing that keeps me from looking or being a slut. However, you can't be too prepared, so I sent you my check, Sister Daisy, darling!

With Christian, Heterosexual Love,
Elizabeth

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

Sister, that is truly clever! The LORD has surely given you a wonderful idea! I'd like one of those myself. It would make me feel more secure than our current system - Saran Wrap:

[Roland]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

Yes, but where can you put a vase of flowers on that?

You don´t. The vase with flowers you can put anywhere you like (with a somwhat stable surface).

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

Yes, but where can you put a vase of flowers on that?

[Roland]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

Don´t make your self defence to complicated. The solution to your problem is right here:

[Nobar King]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

This looks like a fantastic tool, however I worry that the table leg might be too heavy to effectively wield as a weapon. The table top might be too heavy, too.

I'll be waiting for a carbon fiber and titanium version of this product before I'm in.

Edit: If you're lucky, the attacker conveniently falls with his spine on the base of the table, which would probably be classified as a passive trap.

[Bob4God]

Re: How to Ward off a Dangerous Negro

For a woman, this is a marvel of engineering. Are you sure you didn't have help from a male friend or family member?

Nevertheless, I am always a champion of the benefits of free market capitalism (except for pornographers, Hollywood, video game developers, liberal media, wedding caterers who accommodate homosexuals, etc) and I think this table would be an excellent investment for any woman. I would be happy to sell them in my gun store.

Not only can women use it for self defense against colored aggressors, but it also gives them something to decorate and clean! Just be careful that the time you spend moving it around the room and dressing it with doilies doesn't take away from valuable time you could spend worrying about being raped.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Brothers and Sisters,

Almost every day I am scared to death that a savage negro buck is going to try and break in my home and rape me. Therefore, I designed this innocent looking table that can also be transformed into a useful weapon.


Pre-order today! Protect yourselves from savage beasts! This unique Negro Defense Table is on sale for only $650.00. It can also be made in custom colors upon request.