Big Birthday for Trent Harvey!

[James Hutchins]

Not sure if you died Trent, perhaps snuffed in a fire fight for Jesus.
In any case, I have noticed your lack of tithes, so if you have an estate, please have them bring your account up to date.
All the Best,
JH

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Big Birthday for Trent Harvey!

Not sure if you died Trent, perhaps snuffed in a fire fight for Jesus.

I notice that your man Harvey was last active on December 3, 2016. Well, I can tell you without a doubt that he was still alive several days later. I have it written in my records, December 7, 2016. I wrote "guy that looks like me."





Not identical, but there's a resemblance, and that's why I still remember him. I don't usually make conversation with the unsaved trash who stay in my motel, but there was something different about him. I could tell he was a Christian and a Republican, so I asked him what brought him out to Podunk. He told me that big things were going down, and he kept looking over his shoulder like he was being followed. This was the last time I saw him, because he left in the middle of the night. He seemed to have been in quite a hurry, because he left half of his luggage behind, including a considerable amount of ammunition.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Big Birthday for Trent Harvey!

I'm still here, I would say I'm "lurking" but I guess that sounds like "stalking" and I don't want to trigger any poor delicate females. That's why I'm so quiet, I don't want to shout down any women. I don't want to "take up space" (not in a fat-shaming way.)

It's a long story. You see, since the 2016 "Trumpocalypse" a lot of academics have been sending expeditions into our "flyover-land" to explore the foreign tribes that are rumored to dwell here. Namely us.

So, as long as I'm willing to stay in a small town within comfortable driving distance of an elite university, they will come and oogle me. Lots of "How quaint" and "Can I touch him?". (so to speak)

So, until I can get a job building Trumps's wall, what's a homeless veteran to do? Well, you put on your grass skirt, get your bongos, and put on a show for the tourists. So to speak (not gonna wear skirts). Mostly I just sit there and get lectured on how privileged I am to be a homeless veteran with white skin and most of a penis. In return I get food. Glorious, glorious food.

To get an idea of how it goes, here's an article about a feminist who studies (and I hope feeds) homeless men:

Ron, she said, was diagnosed with a number of mental illnesses (depression, bipolar disorder, anti-social personality disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder) ...

As a result, his physical health was a mess, and he felt vulnerable, he told her, such that where before he’d heard women say they were scared to walk at night, now, he too was scared: “…like, a little girl could have killed me. That’s how weak I was…”

He had also been physically abused as a child.

Yet what Dej found most telling was that he positioned “his sense of weakness and vulnerability in relation to women… This vulnerability is the antithesis of hegemonic masculinity…. For Ron, the feminine subjectivity acts as the ultimate exemplar of physical weakness and the most absurd hyperbole of who constitutes a threat.”

Why, she wrote, he even compared the cramps he got from his daily methadone treatment as “like, uh, menstruating, almost…. Like my stomach is just, like, cramps.”

Dej leapt upon this: “Using menstrual cramps, a sensation Ron has admittedly never felt, to describe the side effects of methadone treatment is telling of Ron’s felt masculinity status.”

Only a little later does she say that his identification with menstrual cramps “may be related to his recent identification as bisexual… For Ron, he has failed to live up to the basic tenets of hegemonic masculinity: physical strength, vitality and heterosexuality.”

NOTE: I do NOT have cramps, I did not even know that menstrual cramps were a thing, I don't even see how it's relevant that people get cramps from wearing blackface or whatever goes on at menstrual shows. I AM NOT A HOMO, THIS ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE!)

One of the other key tenets, according to Dej, is “emotional numbness,” or what another man, Julian, described as being “’like an island’…

“While it is understandable why someone facing such debilitating emotions may revel in the idea of feeling nothing, the fact that this is a way of being that all men should emulate is deeply problematic,” Dej writes.

In the time-honoured manner of academics everywhere, Dej pronounces her research important (it “fills a gap,” as she put it) and concludes that because most of the homeless are men (and white, as she also pointed out), “it is essential that interventions that seek to prevent and end homelessness take into account the complex gender dynamics at play…. With this awareness, programs can be designed and services can be provided in such a way as to mitigate the troubling ways that compensatory masculinity manifests…. and introduce men to alternative understandings of masculinity.”

Yes, because that’s the one thing the homeless — who have nothing — really need.

Or, as a man I know put it: “The homeless are overwhelmingly male. As we all know, under-representation means discrimination. I for one am outraged that women are systemically denied the opportunity to be homeless.”

Sometimes it's a struggle to keep my mouth shut. Once I suggested that feminists visit a prison if they really want to see ways to "introduce men to alternative understandings of masculinity.” They didn't feed me after that.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Big Birthday for Trent Harvey!

I have it written in my records, December 7, 2016. I wrote "guy that looks like me."

It's the smile that does it.

He told me that big things were going down,

I was trying to subtly tell you your fly was down.

and he kept looking over his shoulder like he was being followed.

I was checking for dandruff.

This was the last time I saw him, because he left in the middle of the night.

Your room had those little millipedes. The crazy fast ones, with the zillions of freaky little legs. Those things are creepy. How do they even run without tripping over themselves? Can bugs do witchcraft?

He seemed to have been in quite a hurry, because he left half of his luggage behind, including a considerable amount of ammunition.

It was the wrong caliber. Buyers tend to be finicky about that. You can keep it.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Big Birthday for Trent Harvey!

It was the wrong caliber. Buyers tend to be finicky about that.

Indeed we are. Buyers also dislike grenades that don't actually explode... Suffice to say we need to talk. When will you be in town again?

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Big Birthday for Trent Harvey!

Indeed we are. Buyers also dislike grenades that don't actually explode... Suffice to say we need to talk. When will you be in town again?

Are you the guy who asked me for potato mashers? I assumed you wanted to mash potatoes, not blow them up. Had you asked for an RGD-33 I would have known what you're talking about.

By the way, the weigh of the stick reduces the range, cancelling out the whole point of the stick in the first place.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Big Birthday for Trent Harvey!

Well, it's nice to hear you're alive and well. Thank you for your service killing sand people and protecting our oil.

Your room had those little millipedes. The crazy fast ones, with the zillions of freaky little legs. Those things are creepy. How do they even run without tripping over themselves? Can bugs do witchcraft?

No, there aren't any pests in my motel. God hates four-legged insects (Leviticus 11:20), so I can only imagine how he feels about 100-legged bugs. I would not test God by harboring such filth on my property.

It was the wrong caliber. Buyers tend to be finicky about that. You can keep it.

Well, I'm sure glad you don't want it back... not that I used it all up two years ago or anything, it's just... dusty.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Big Birthday for Trent Harvey!

I'm still here, I would say I'm "lurking" but I guess that sounds like "stalking" and I don't want to trigger any poor delicate females. That's why I'm so quiet, I don't want to shout down any women. I don't want to "take up space" (not in a fat-shaming way.)

It's a long story. You see, since the 2016 "Trumpocalypse" a lot of academics have been sending expeditions into our "flyover-land" to explore the foreign tribes that are rumored to dwell here. Namely us.

So, as long as I'm willing to stay in a small town within comfortable driving distance of an elite university, they will come and oogle me. Lots of "How quaint" and "Can I touch him?". (so to speak)

So, until I can get a job building Trumps's wall, what's a homeless veteran to do? Well, you put on your grass skirt, get your bongos, and put on a show for the tourists. So to speak (not gonna wear skirts). Mostly I just sit there and get lectured on how privileged I am to be a homeless veteran with white skin and most of a penis. In return I get food. Glorious, glorious food.

To get an idea of how it goes, here's an article about a feminist who studies (and I hope feeds) homeless men:

Ron, she said, was diagnosed with a number of mental illnesses (depression, bipolar disorder, anti-social personality disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder) ...

As a result, his physical health was a mess, and he felt vulnerable, he told her, such that where before he’d heard women say they were scared to walk at night, now, he too was scared: “…like, a little girl could have killed me. That’s how weak I was…”

He had also been physically abused as a child.

Yet what Dej found most telling was that he positioned “his sense of weakness and vulnerability in relation to women… This vulnerability is the antithesis of hegemonic masculinity…. For Ron, the feminine subjectivity acts as the ultimate exemplar of physical weakness and the most absurd hyperbole of who constitutes a threat.”

Why, she wrote, he even compared the cramps he got from his daily methadone treatment as “like, uh, menstruating, almost…. Like my stomach is just, like, cramps.”

Dej leapt upon this: “Using menstrual cramps, a sensation Ron has admittedly never felt, to describe the side effects of methadone treatment is telling of Ron’s felt masculinity status.”

Only a little later does she say that his identification with menstrual cramps “may be related to his recent identification as bisexual… For Ron, he has failed to live up to the basic tenets of hegemonic masculinity: physical strength, vitality and heterosexuality.”

NOTE: I do NOT have cramps, I did not even know that menstrual cramps were a thing, I don't even see how it's relevant that people get cramps from wearing blackface or whatever goes on a menstrual shows. I AM NOT A HOMO, THIS ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE!)

One of the other key tenets, according to Dej, is “emotional numbness,” or what another man, Julian, described as being “’like an island’…

“While it is understandable why someone facing such debilitating emotions may revel in the idea of feeling nothing, the fact that this is a way of being that all men should emulate is deeply problematic,” Dej writes.

In the time-honoured manner of academics everywhere, Dej pronounces her research important (it “fills a gap,” as she put it) and concludes that because most of the homeless are men (and white, as she also pointed out), “it is essential that interventions that seek to prevent and end homelessness take into account the complex gender dynamics at play…. With this awareness, programs can be designed and services can be provided in such a way as to mitigate the troubling ways that compensatory masculinity manifests…. and introduce men to alternative understandings of masculinity.”

Yes, because that’s the one thing the homeless — who have nothing — really need.

Or, as a man I know put it: “The homeless are overwhelmingly male. As we all know, under-representation means discrimination. I for one am outraged that women are systemically denied the opportunity to be homeless.”

Sometimes it's a struggle to keep my mouth shut. Once I suggested that feminists visit a prison if they really want to see ways to "introduce men to alternative understandings of masculinity.” They didn't feed me after that.

Trent, I am sorry God did not have you 'on the list' at Heavens Gate(r) for VIP access this year. Maybe next year. I'll be rooting for you.

In the mean time, I've sent you a gift card for 'Subway of the week' that entitles you to fifty-two 6" subs of the 'choice of the day'. Good for a balanced diet. Enjoy! Do not use it in one day. BTW, if you die before the card is fully consumed, please return it to me.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Big Birthday for Trent Harvey!

I was surprised to see you reduced to such a level of desperation. We didn't mean to leave you for dead, we just assumed there was some sort of veteran's association to help you.

<-Represents a veteran, not a pirate

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Big Birthday for Trent Harvey!

we just assumed there was some sort of veteran's association to help you.

Those guys are a bunch of jerks. See, we were just telling some war stories, and people started throwing around the word JDAM:



But Jesus doesn't like it when people use such words in vain, so I urged them to instead call them JDARNs. Also call "hellfire missiles" "heckfire missiles".

Well, one thing led to another, I failed to display tactical patience, and now we don't get along. Let's leave it at that.

[Sally Paulson]

Re: Big Birthday for Trent Harvey!

Congratulations on your 999th post!

[Social Construct]

Re: Big Birthday for Trent Harvey!

Congratulations on your 999th post!

Your monitor might be upside-down. Are you getting frownies when you should be getting smilies?

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Big Birthday for Trent Harvey!

Your monitor might be upside-down. Are you getting frownies when you should be getting smilies?

I believe she got confused because her free Canadian medication gives her the spins sometimes. What's your excuse? Bidirectionally-curious? Gravitationally-fluid? Identifying as a bat?