Reminder to tin tithers: The main parking lot is not for your use.

[Uncle Rutherford]

One of the many jobs I do for the good Pastor Ezekiel includes maintaining the parking lots over at Landover Baptist Church. While doing my after-church service duties, I got my broom to sweep away all the debris that accumulates throughout the week on our spacious parking lots and while doin so, I saw a car in the main lot that definitely looked out of place (pictured below)! Now, I do know what Pastor Ezekiel drives and what all the tithers with gold and above status drive and this is definitely not one of them. I figure since it’s still here and showed up today THIS SUNDAY, that it must belong to a tin tither. Tin tithers are taught to understand that their designated spots to park their cars is about a half mile down the road. The MAIN LOT WHERE PASTOR EZEKIEL parks that whoever decided to use, is for his top of the line Mercedes, Cadillac Escalade, and personal jet. To think someone would take up one of our hard working Pastor’s parking spots just disgusts me. To whoever owns this eyesore, you have until the end of the day before I have to tow it to the Freehold Impound Station.




PS: Yes I know I have to repave the parking lot this week but this eyesore is in the way!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Reminder to tin tithers: The main parking lot is not for your use.

Thank you, Brother Rutherford, for the great work you do rationing the best parking spaces for the most worthy.

This beaten up car with its loud muffle exposed has to belong to someone trying to slip into the church without paying his tithe. Some nerve. If that car's owner wants salvation he is off to a bad start.

Parking at Landover Baptist Church has turned out to be an opportunity to express our faith. There are no handicapped parking spots. The most worthy, high roller donors, walk the shortest distance and new cars tell the world these are people Jesus favors with his prosperity.

Keep up the good work, Brother Rutherford.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Reminder to tin tithers: The main parking lot is not for your use.

Oh, sweet Lord. Multiple dents, paint scratched off, exhaust burns, is that rust I see? And black hubcaps are gauche, especially on a red car. Also, spoiler alert! Which is also tacky. And the side mirror seems to have a part broken off. By the look of it, it also has multiple outstanding tickets. And he backed into the parking spot, who the hell does that? I'm ashamed of the fact that this car belongs to a white man, let alone a Christian. While we're at it, the car next to it doesn't look very expensive.

You should probably tow both of them to be safe. Is there a scrapyard in Freehold? Each one would fetch around $280 in scrap, so you could reimburse the owners after deducting your mileage and the parking fees.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Reminder to tin tithers: The main parking lot is not for your use.

Freehold keeps junkyards out of the city by zoning laws. I always call the "salvage yard" in Des Moines owned by the people that killed Jesus. The Goldstein family owns one.

I always figure they were heartless about Jesus they will make short work of junk like these cars.

[handmaiden]

Re: Reminder to tin tithers: The main parking lot is not for your use.

Speaking as a barely respectable bronze-tither myself, I am offended that this person has money to own a car but can't scrape together more than two coins to bless Landover Baptist. Even I have managed to do that, and I can't afford a car or to live in a classy place like Freehold.

Praise Jesus for the interwebs because through it He allows me to experience fellowship with the Only True Believin', Bible Followin' Church in America. I could not survive in the Catholick cesspool that is Mariolatry-land without the uplifting support of my Brothers and Sisters in Christ here at .

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: Reminder to tin tithers: The main parking lot is not for your use.

Woke up this mornin hopin to see it gone and it’s still there! With a dook on the hood now! Oh the sacrifices I make for Pastor Ezekiel. I gave the tin tither a chance, now it’s gettin towed as we speak. It ain’t my problem anymore!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Reminder to tin tithers: The main parking lot is not for your use.

Oh the sacrifices I make for Pastor Ezekiel.

I hear you, Brother. Pastor Zeke gets livid when he sees an old car in the Landover Baptist parking lot. Just to keep him on an even keel best we get rid of whatever shows up there.

Most high roller donors at Landover Baptist like the premium parking spot system. That is good because the wolf is always at the door at Landover Baptist. Our pastors are paid more than any other church, we provide a fleet of Escalades and luxury housing. Nevertheless, we who give generously feel it is an honor. And, we have moved to the front of the line in Salvation--we're in.

[Isabella White]

Re: Reminder to tin tithers: The main parking lot is not for your use.

Woke up this mornin hopin to see it gone and it’s still there! With a dook on the hood now! Oh the sacrifices I make for Pastor Ezekiel. I gave the tin tither a chance, now it’s gettin towed as we speak. It ain’t my problem anymore!

Oh, thank the dear , dear Mr. Rutherford! That relic looks like it must have smuggled about a dozen Messicans over the border at one point. And, thank you, as well, for doing your best to rid us of such unsightly pestilence.

If not for the kindness of dear in letting me avail myself of the valet parking privileges in his personal, executive parking lot, I'm afraid I would have missed a service or two, until that "car" was sent on its way. I mean, one cannot expect to have that eyesore taking up valuable parking space in the lot -- not when one's driver is navigating to a parking space -- for this!

[James Hutchins]

Re: Reminder to tin tithers: The main parking lot is not for your use.

Honestly. It is bad enough I have to drive by the Tin Tithers(c) lot en-route to the main lot (I'd be envious of the Platinum Tithers(r) lot but God forbade it) but the mere idea of my pristine 1979 Whale Tail wide body be discovered close to a Tin Tithers(r) 'home on wheels' make me want to puke.