X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • PSA! Air Fryers Can Damn You to Hell!

    Brethren and Sistren,

    My grandmother told me that only whores and lazy people use air fryers. Fried chicken and all the fixings should all be made the old fashioned way - in hot grease!

    (P/S: I was going to post this in the "Landover Baptist Lounge" section but blacks (and homos) are not allowed to read it. I know a lot of us use black household help so they would not have seen it. )
    Attached Files
    sigpic

    Tweet me Here
    My GODLY Bio Here

  • #2
    It's a funny thing, I was just thinking about fried potato to go with roast duck – stuffed with onion and nuts. Normally I'd use goose fat but, even though it's poultry, someone said to stick with beef dripping (for chicken, though, lard is better) and it is perfect. Sadly, before meeting Jesus and accepting Him as my personal friend, I never listened to what my grandma said but know she'd never use an air fryer. Her owner, my Grandfather, assured us she'd gone mad and she did chop her own wood—to cook with—so during the winter months I cook on a wood stove, having enjoyed what she served.

    And having watched what she did. Here are some ingredients she never used:

    Quinoa
    Amazonian acai berries
    Mongongo
    Wild-harvested pili pili
    Maggot cheese (invented by catholics)
    Ogbono oil
    Paraguayan Atta laevigata
    Couscous
    Çayönü einkorn
    Whale milk


    That's 100% certain: none of these were ever found looking through her pantry for a snack. We were allowed to do that and also to cook if we wanted. She did make some lovely stewed meat bringing me to a question. Obviously there'd never be a microwave in any Christian home but what about those electric "slow cooker" crockpot things?

    Thank you.

    Comment


    • #3
      Chicken fried in lard has kept people alive for centuries. Any other way of cooking chicken is a death sentence.

      1966 Lard Fried Chicken with fried biscuits and gravy.
      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
        Those older recipe books are a fantastic record. 1966? What do you think would happen if you requested a 60-year-old ..anything ..off the interwebs? (I mean in sixty years time.) Whereas in a library you can check up stuff from centuries ago. Millennia, if you read Akkadian or understand hieroglyphs. So far, though, some older recipes are there including one similar to her biscuits but with added yeast and raisins. Personally, I always use plain flour, mixing my own cream o' tartar & soda as required.
        .
        Ingredients
        __ 1lb strong white flour
        ___ 1 tsp salt
        ____ 2 × ¼oz sachets instant yeast
        _____ 2½oz lard
        ______ 10½fl oz water
        _______ 2½oz butter
        ________ 8oz mixed dried fruit including mixed peel
        _________ 1¾oz soft brown sugar
        __________ extra flour for dusting
        Method
        __1. Mix together the flour, salt and yeast in a mixing bowl. Rub in ¾oz of the lard using your fingertips until there are no pieces of lard visible.
        __2. Add three-quarters of the water and hand-mix the flour into the water to form a dough. Add as much of the remaining water as you need to get a dough that is soft and leaves the sides of the bowl clean.
        __3. Tip the dough onto a lightly floured surface and knead for 5-10 minutes, or until the dough is smooth. Place in a clean bowl, cover and leave to rise until doubled in size. This depends on the temperature of the room, but should take 1-2 hours.
        __4. Tip the dough onto a floured work surface and roll into a rectangle about 8”× 20” and about ¼” thick.
        __5. Dot a third of the remaining lard and a third of the butter over the surface of the dough. Scatter over a third of the fruit and a third of the sugar. Fold the top third of the dough down and the bottom third up so that the dough is folded in three and roughly square. Turn the dough a quarter turn. Roll out and repeat the out process twice more, to use up all the lard and fruit.
        __6. Line a 9” × 9” square loose bottomed tin with baking parchment. Roll out the dough to fit the tin and place it inside. Cover with clingfilm, or place inside a large plastic bag, and leave to rise for 30 minutes. Preheat the oven to 425°F
        __7. Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until golden-brown.
        __8. Leave to cool slightly before removing from the tin. Cut into squares and serve warm or cold, with butter.


        I'm not sure about clingfilm, preferring a cotton flour bag tied with string (I buy 10lb bags of plain flour) slightly moistened and rubbed over with lard, may be kept preprepared in a sealed container if these are recipes often used. Beef dripping is another good alternative – but for chicken: always lard. We don't want to diss God!

        Originally posted by God
        Proverbs 28:25 He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: but he that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat.

        John 1:3-5 All things were made by him [Jesus] and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

        Proverbs 15:30 The light of the eyes rejoiceth the heart: and a good report maketh the bones fat.
        Last edited by MitzaLizalor; 01-25-2025, 09:41 AM.

        Comment

        Working...
        X