Horrible antiChristian Bumper Stickers....more feces tossed in the face of Baby Jesus

[Witch Hammer]

I know all True Christians were horrified when the "darwin" fish bumper sticker entered the scene...but we righteously countered it with a Godly sticker of the Jesus Fish (Truth of the Gospel and Biblical Science) devouring the darwin fish (lies of the secular devil worshiping pseudo-scientists). For a while, things were fine. We had satan held in check. But I'm afraid a new evil is upon us, friends!

A few days ago, while in the grocery store parking lot...I beheld wickedness in an undiluted form. The Righteous Jesus Fish that we all know and love, and which adorns all of our vehicles, I'm sure...the Jesus Fish was in a submissive position, and the evil darwin fish was on top of it, with it's member entering into the backside of the poor Jesus Fish in a vulgar display of bestial sodomy! Such blasphemy I've never seen!! How can this be? At first I wept...but soon my sorrow turned to rage. I waited until the sinner exited the store and got in his car. Then I followed him to his home. Once I had his address, I returned much later that night, removed the offending sticker with a razor blade, and threw a brick with a note tied to it through his rear window. The note read, "Jesus will kill you for this, you hateful f@ggot".

I must say, I slept rather well that night.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Friend, I understand your feelings completely, but I am afraid you went a bit overboard in tossing a brick through the man's window. The proper thing in the case of a found witch (or warlock in this case) would have been to squirt superglue into all the door locks so he cannot unlock the doors from the inside and then burn down his house.

Throwing bricks through windows is illegal and tacky.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Friend, I understand your feelings completely, but I am afraid you went a bit overboard in tossing a brick through the man's window.

I hate to disagree with such an expert on vandalism but there are cases where this would be an appropriate action. If the victim to be worked for the MacDonalds corporation it would be fine...as long as you added something to the note like...







...You deserve a brick today!




Bless you, my confused grasshoppers,
Father Mo

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Catlick humor like that may go over big with altar boys, but WE are not amused.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I hate to disagree with such an expert on vandalism but there are cases where this would be an appropriate action. If the victim to be worked for the MacDonalds corporation it would be fine...as long as you added something to the note like...

...You deserve a brick today!

Bless you, my confused grasshoppers,
Father Mo

How dare you criticize our Godly and wise Pastor!? The papist dogs of Rome are the greatest vandals in history, not to mention the leaders of satan's army.

Pastor Pistle's advice was, as always, measured with a large dose of Christ's love. Praise Jesus, I wish more folks had his common sense approach to life's little problems...

[Witch Hammer]

Friend, I understand your feelings completely, but I am afraid you went a bit overboard in tossing a brick through the man's window. The proper thing in the case of a found witch (or warlock in this case) would have been to squirt superglue into all the door locks so he cannot unlock the doors from the inside and then burn down his house.

You're right, Pastor Al...I completely over reacted. Next time I'll pop open a can of Exodus 22:18 on the warlock! As always, thank you for your wise council!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

I know all True Christians were horrified when the "darwin" fish bumper sticker entered the scene...but we righteously countered it with a Godly sticker of the Jesus Fish (Truth of the Gospel and Biblical Science) devouring the darwin fish (lies of the secular devil worshiping pseudo-scientists). For a while, things were fine. We had satan held in check. But I'm afraid a new evil is upon us, friends!

A few days ago, while in the grocery store parking lot...I beheld wickedness in an undiluted form. The Righteous Jesus Fish that we all know and love, and which adorns all of our vehicles, I'm sure...the Jesus Fish was in a submissive position, and the evil darwin fish was on top of it, with it's member entering into the backside of the poor Jesus Fish in a vulgar display of bestial sodomy! Such blasphemy I've never seen!! How can this be? At first I wept...but soon my sorrow turned to rage. I waited until the sinner exited the store and got in his car. Then I followed him to his home. Once I had his address, I returned much later that night, removed the offending sticker with a razor blade, and threw a brick with a note tied to it through his rear window. The note read, "Jesus will kill you for this, you hateful f@ggot".

I must say, I slept rather well that night.

Your age is again apparent. old
I confess myself surprised that you didn't slash his tyres and put shaving cream all over his car.

[Brother_Mike]

I know all True Christians were horrified when the "darwin" fish bumper sticker entered the scene...but we righteously countered it with a Godly sticker of the Jesus Fish (Truth of the Gospel and Biblical Science) devouring the darwin fish (lies of the secular devil worshiping pseudo-scientists). For a while, things were fine. We had satan held in check. But I'm afraid a new evil is upon us, friends!

A few days ago, while in the grocery store parking lot...I beheld wickedness in an undiluted form. The Righteous Jesus Fish that we all know and love, and which adorns all of our vehicles, I'm sure...the Jesus Fish was in a submissive position, and the evil darwin fish was on top of it, with it's member entering into the backside of the poor Jesus Fish in a vulgar display of bestial sodomy! Such blasphemy I've never seen!! How can this be? At first I wept...but soon my sorrow turned to rage. I waited until the sinner exited the store and got in his car. Then I followed him to his home. Once I had his address, I returned much later that night, removed the offending sticker with a razor blade, and threw a brick with a note tied to it through his rear window. The note read, "Jesus will kill you for this, you hateful f@ggot".

I must say, I slept rather well that night.

I think you let him off very lightly. You should have asked him to apologise for having that sticker and then found out where he got it from so we can eradicate the evil from its source.

[Witch Hammer]

Your age is again apparent. old
I confess myself surprised that you didn't slash his tyres and put shaving cream all over his car.

Be still, witch!
And what's a "tyre"?

[Jesus is Lord]

Be still, witch!
And what's a "tyre"?

"Tyre" is how the heathens in Australia and other backwards countries spell "tire", Brother. The heathens over there can't spell English, let alone American, correctly.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

"Tyre" is how the heathens in Australia and other backwards countries spell "tire", Brother. The heathens over there can't spell English, let alone American, correctly.

That they can't! However, Mrs Von Mewling may be referring to King Hiram of Tyre, who was the king of the Lesbianese people back in the days of King David.

King Hiram Of Tyre

Known also as "Huram" and "Horam," Hiram was the king of Tyre in the time of Kings David and Solomon. While he was politically allied with David, Hiram's workmen helped David's people to build David's palace in Jerusalem, and then after Solomon succeeded his father David as King of Israel, Hiram's workers also participated in the building of the first Temple. Much of the fine cedar for both the palace and Temple came from Tyre. Hiram In Bible History
Hiram was politically expedient; when he saw David's God-given power, for his own survival Hiram knew it best to make himself an ally of David rather than an enemy, although it seems that their personal friendship was genuine:

• "And David became greater and greater, for The Lord, the God of hosts, was with him. And Hiram king of Tyre sent messengers to David, and cedar trees, also carpenters and masons who built David a house." (2 Samuel 5:10-11)

After David died, Hiram continued the friendship with Solomon, providing materials and skilled workmen for the building of the Temple:

• "Now Hiram king of Tyre sent his servants to Solomon, when he heard that they had anointed him king in place of his father; for Hiram always loved David." "And Solomon sent word to Hiram, "You know that David my father could not build a house for The Name of The Lord his God because of the warfare with which his enemies surrounded him, until The Lord put them under the soles of his feet. But now The Lord my God has given me rest on every side; there is neither adversary nor misfortune. And so I purpose to build a house for The Name of The Lord my God, as The Lord said to David my father, 'Your son, whom I will set upon your throne in your place, shall build the house for My Name.' Now therefore command that cedars of Lebanon be cut for me; and my servants will join your servants, and I will pay you for your servants such wages as you set; for you know that there is no one among us who knows how to cut timber like the Sidonians."
  "When Hiram heard the words of Solomon, he rejoiced greatly, and said, "Blessed be The Lord this day, who has given to David a wise son to be over this great people."
  "And Hiram sent to Solomon, saying, "I have heard the message which you have sent to me; I am ready to do all you desire in the matter of cedar and cypress timber. My servants shall bring it down to the sea from Lebanon; and I will make it into rafts to go by sea to the place you direct, and I will have them broken up there, and you shall receive it; and you shall meet my wishes by providing food for my household."
  "So Hiram supplied Solomon with all the timber of cedar and cypress that he desired, while Solomon gave Hiram twenty thousand cors of wheat as food for his household, and twenty thousand cors of beaten oil. Solomon gave this to Hiram year by year. And The Lord gave Solomon wisdom, as he promised him; and there was peace between Hiram and Solomon; and the two of them made a treaty." (1 Kings 5:1-12)

TEST: Can anyone figure out why the Scripture included above is WRONG?!?!?!?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Uhhhhhhhhh..........exactly, Pastor Al, I was

Though originally from the US, and though I do still spell most words that way, I've been here long enough for some of the british spellings (which are used here) to rub off, though.

[lilith]

"Tyre" is how the heathens in Australia and other backwards countries spell "tire", Brother. The heathens over there can't spell English, let alone American, correctly.

Slight correction: Tire is the Americanisation,due to their little problem with spelling the English language correctly.


Probably we shouldn't go into their issues with pronounciation - given that I once heard a song which rhymed the word "tired" with the word "hard" - it's best left well alone.old

[eliot mayfield]

Remember, Jesus told us to obey seccular law. So we can't go around throwing bricks through windows. We can only pray for the day the supreme court allows us to stone the witches themselves.

[MoonFlower]

A few days ago, while in the grocery store parking lot...I beheld wickedness in an undiluted form. The Righteous Jesus Fish that we all know and love, and which adorns all of our vehicles, I'm sure...the Jesus Fish was in a submissive position, and the evil darwin fish was on top of it, with it's member entering into the backside of the poor Jesus Fish in a vulgar display of bestial sodomy!

I think this bumper sticker is begging for more than a brick through a window. It's funny though!

Moon