[OnYourKnees]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

SAM, WE'VE BEEN OVER ALL OF THIS! ITS ALL LIES. THEY R LYING 2 U! U CAN ASK EM BUT THEY WONT TELL YOU NOTHING. THE TREE SPIRIT CALLED LUNA IS OKAY TO TALK TO. JESUS DONT CARE. I TRIED JESUS AND DIDNT LIKE HIM. HES A LOT TOO STRICT. COME TO THE WOODS WITH ME. WE HAVE CANDY AND ALL THE TREE SPIRITS YOU WANT. JUST LEEVE UR BIBLE AT HOME. OKAY? OH, AND I HAVE A SURPRISE WHEN U GET HERE.....

Daniel, you poor, warped, bewitched little boy.

We had such high hopes for you; we thought you loved Jesus. We thought you wanted to spend eternity in Heaven, and would follow His word in order to do so.

What have you done?

You allowed yourself to be bewitched by A Lie. She has convinced you that sacrificing cats and babies to her "goddess" will get you into "Summerland" when you die, where you and Alie and goats can frolick for eternity.

Well, Daniel, this behavior WILL get you somewhere. God tells us where, in His Word.

Hell, where it's always summer. A really, really hot summer.

I suggest you reacquaint yourself with the Bible, Daniel. Perhaps a Bible Quiz would help you realize how far from God's Truth you really are?

This one's a good starting point for your current situation: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1...damnation.html <-- quiz about the New Testament (that's JESUS!) position on eternal damnation. You know, where you're headed!

[Brother Samuel]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

SAM, WE'VE BEEN OVER ALL OF THIS! ITS ALL LIES. THEY R LYING 2 U! U CAN ASK EM BUT THEY WONT TELL YOU NOTHING. THE TREE SPIRIT CALLED LUNA IS OKAY TO TALK TO. JESUS DONT CARE. I TRIED JESUS AND DIDNT LIKE HIM. HES A LOT TOO STRICT. COME TO THE WOODS WITH ME. WE HAVE CANDY AND ALL THE TREE SPIRITS YOU WANT. JUST LEEVE UR BIBLE AT HOME. OKAY? OH, AND I HAVE A SURPRISE WHEN U GET HERE.....

Jesus™ help me! First of all I don't speak the demon tongue known as AIM. Second of all, Landover follows the whole Bible. It says right in Exodus 20:16 "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour." Since sinners are incapable of understanding the Bible, let me translate: "Don't lie." Lying is a sin. Now, True Christians™ are incapable of sinning right? So let's put the logic together. True Christians™ can't sin. Lying is a sin. That means True Christians™...can't lie! Daniel, you have to realize that what you say makes absolutely no sense!

1 Corinthians 6:9 "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,"

So you can keep your leather, whips, surprises, and feminazi ideals all to yourself. I have Jesus and that's all I need!

[Enobarbus]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

After much thought and prayer, I have decided to open this insane gibberish by Daniel as an example of what can and will in all likelihood happen to a seemingly Godly young man who is lead astray by a witch and becomes possessed. It seems that Daniel has been lured into the coven's lair deep in he woods where they are feeding him candy and no doubt teaching him the ways of wickerism and witchcraft. The witch Alie has already instructed him in her perverted shrubbery bothering behaviour and no doubt he will soon be dancing skyclad and romping with the goat god's minions. From there he will be initiated into the more violent and cruel pagan rituals in which first innocent animals -- mainly cats -- and then, later, human babies are sacrificed to the goat "goddess".

[Sista Lateefah]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

SAM, WE'VE BEEN OVER ALL OF THIS! ITS ALL LIES. THEY R LYING 2 U! U CAN ASK EM BUT THEY WONT TELL YOU NOTHING. THE TREE SPIRIT CALLED LUNA IS OKAY TO TALK TO. JESUS DONT CARE. I TRIED JESUS AND DIDNT LIKE HIM. HES A LOT TOO STRICT. COME TO THE WOODS WITH ME. WE HAVE CANDY AND ALL THE TREE SPIRITS YOU WANT. JUST LEEVE UR BIBLE AT HOME. OKAY? OH, AND I HAVE A SURPRISE WHEN U GET HERE.....

It just get worse and worse, don't it? The longer she bewitchedes you, the more sinful you gets. Comin' up in here and spreadin' false witness about LBC and even the LORD Himself! You gonna see what He think of that kinda behavior when He dropkick yo booty into HELL! And now you has embraced homerism and is trying to pull other mens into it as well. It woulda been a blessing if that witch woulda ate you instead of puttin' you through this slow torture like she durrin'. Oh well, you deserves it. You was hellbound to begin with, otherwise the LORD woulda protected you from her magics.

[Daniel]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

Not evil, huh? Well let's see what the Bible has to say about you and your little happy tree friend. Leviticus 20:27: "A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them." and 2 Chronicles 33:6 "And he caused his children to pass through the fire in the valley of the son of Hinnom: also he observed times, and used enchantments, and used witchcraft, and dealt with a familiar spirit, and with wizards: he wrought much evil in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger." Now this might be just me, but God Almighty is the last person I want mad at me. He is after all, the person that can strike you dead and send you to Hell on a moments notice. Anyone that can do that is a force to be reckoned with. I suggest that you talk to one of the Pastors immediately so we can get this evil spirit gone for good!

SAM, WE'VE BEEN OVER ALL OF THIS! ITS ALL LIES. THEY R LYING 2 U! U CAN ASK EM BUT THEY WONT TELL YOU NOTHING. THE TREE SPIRIT CALLED LUNA IS OKAY TO TALK TO. JESUS DONT CARE. I TRIED JESUS AND DIDNT LIKE HIM. HES A LOT TOO STRICT. COME TO THE WOODS WITH ME. WE HAVE CANDY AND ALL THE TREE SPIRITS YOU WANT. JUST LEEVE UR BIBLE AT HOME. OKAY? OH, AND I HAVE A SURPRISE WHEN U GET HERE.....

[Brother Samuel]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

No, and she's not evil. She is very sweet, and loveing. She is the one I trust the most other then Jesus, and the buddhas.

Not evil, huh? Well let's see what the Bible has to say about you and your little happy tree friend. Leviticus 20:27: "A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them." and 2 Chronicles 33:6 "And he caused his children to pass through the fire in the valley of the son of Hinnom: also he observed times, and used enchantments, and used witchcraft, and dealt with a familiar spirit, and with wizards: he wrought much evil in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger." Now this might be just me, but God Almighty is the last person I want mad at me. He is after all, the person that can strike you dead and send you to Hell on a moments notice. Anyone that can do that is a force to be reckoned with. I suggest that you talk to one of the Pastors immediately so we can get this evil spirit gone for good!

[Sista Lateefah]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

I still pray to Jesus, but overall I end up talking to a tree spirt named Luna a lot more. Is this wrong? I mean, I love her alot, but I still love Jesus.

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. - Matthew 6:24

Mammon be about the greeds and the selfishness, which you had displayed when you rejected JESUS! You is only serving one master, and no matter what you claims, that master do not be da LORD! Hope you like scorching hellfire and flesh eating debbils, because that be what you is axing for.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

She isn't a "it". She is a liveing being. I've been talking with her for almost a year. Don't you think that something would have happened already if she was a demon?

Something has already happened, it happened the instant you didn't tell it to leave you alone.
When you turned to it and listened to it, you violated Jesus commandments, thus it has already caused you to sin extensively.

You have abandoned Jesus in all but words, and instead of Jesus, this Luna demon now dwells in your heart.
Soon, it will have you blaspheme the Holy Ghost and you will be lost forever!
DO NOT TALK TO IT. REBUKE IT IN THE NAME IN JESUS CHRIST!

I'll shall even do it for you, we must try to Save your soul by any means necessary..
I'm praying this below to God as of now, and should it be His will, this Luna will leave you forever.


God Allmighty, your name is Holy.
See this poor sheep who's gone astray and show him your mercy, should it be your will to make thy power known:
Luna, you demon and servant of satan! I command you by the power of God Allmighty, Him that is the Father of all that is;
And through the blood of His son Jesus Christ, who laid down His life for the sins of the world:
To leave this poor boy alone, and NEVER to return unto him!
Get thee behind me, servant of satan! The power of Christ commands you!

PRAISE GOD!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

Said the resident wiccan moron.

Remember what I told you about the whole "whore" thing. Well, this is another word you DON'T want to call me.

Moon

Er, "Resident"? Or "wiccan"?

She isn't a "it". She is a liveing being. I've been talking with her for almost a year. Don't you think that something would have happened already if she was a demon?

That Silver Birch tree talked to that American medium for decades, just waiting for him to die so Silver Birch could take his soul to Satan.

They have existed from the beginning of time . . . what's a few years to them? It is as an instant!

[Loser_seed]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

Said the resident wiccan moron.

Lunar, you aren't having hallucinations.. It is all too real.
This "luna" is a DEMON, and it is attempting to lure you away from Jesus Christ! Don't talk to it, or you WILL get possesed!
And it may pretend to be nice and to love you, BUT IT DOESN'T!: It only wants to drag you down into hell!

She isn't a "it". She is a liveing being. I've been talking with her for almost a year. Don't you think that something would have happened already if she was a demon?

[SinisterPizza]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

Hmm..I've never actually talked to a tree before. Does Luna actually talk with you like a human would, or is it more of an imaginary friend type thing?

jeez, it's hailing now. We get the weirdest weather here sometimes. It's been gray/cloudy, rainy, hailing, sunny, and now it's hailing again!

[MoonFlower]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

What are a bunch of flying monkeys against the power of Jesus Christ?

Target practice...duh!

[Lunadea]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

hehehe, I am being nice. I'm just willing to put you out of your misery.

Moon

Hello, Miss Moon, how are you these days. I seem to have escaped quarantine and moderation. Someone somewhere has blundered, someone has (how does it go). But ours not to reason why.

But don't you think that just shooting Luna is a teensy weensy bit excessive. He is barking mad but so is just about everybody else here and talking to a tree god isn't any dopier than believing in any other god is it?

These bapwits are always talking to the sky god and the pagans to whoever, and even the wiccans, if I may be so bold.

My friend Fleur on the Harry Potter forum who's a nurse (that's Fleur that's the nurse, not Harry Potter) tells me that there are powerful new medications for this sort of thing (talking to tree gods) that don't seem to have quite the same side effects as the older stuff. These people can evidently go on and live near normal lives with this stuff and most of them are pretty harmless anywahy. Only about 1% of paranoid schizophrenics are really dangerous, she says.

How do you think Harry Potter may die in the final book?

As an act of self-sacrifice taking the evil Lord Voldemort with him?

There are many theories going around:

Harry gets drunk on butterbeer and has a one-night stand with Dementor, discovering that its "Hump of Despair" is worse than its "Kiss of Death."

Harry gives up hope of ever killing Voldemort and begins messianic cult. He passes out a Deadly Wizard's Draught to students who complete the largest Wizard group suicide pact in history.

Harry accidentally walks in on Professor McGonagall naked. He tears his eyes out and bleeds to death.

Unaware that the Pensieve has been replaced by a Fountain of Acid, Harry dips his head in it.

Harry contracts Wizard bird flu from infected owls.

Harry catches incurable Wizard's Syphilis from Ginny Weasley.

Harry is tragically decapitated by the Hogwart's express during a game of "chicken" with Draco Malfoy.

Luna Lovegood provides Harry with some bad acid, and, while tripping, Harry thinks he can fly without his broom and dies leaping from the top window of the astronomy tower.

Ron murders Harry after catching Hermione holding Harry's wand.

PS I am sorry about that last one, but somehow I felt it had to be said.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

I wasn't giving you my opinion. I was warning you. I wouldn't want to call my flying monkeys on you!

Moon

What are a bunch of flying monkeys against the power of Jesus Christ?
But being a vile wiccan you probably worship monkeys just like most sickulars do..

[MoonFlower]

Re: I talk to Luna more.

Your opinon doesn't matter, witch!
And unless you behave as is proper for a woman, you will never receive Jesus love.

I wasn't giving you my opinion. I was warning you. I wouldn't want to call my flying monkeys on you!

Moon