X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • Brother Quest
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Dec 2009
    • 78
    #1

    Wow!!!!

    I'm jumpin up and down in my pants right now.. The good Pastor has forgivin my sins and made me an actual forum member. Praise Jesus!!!!
    How can a Redneck South Texas Christian with a bass boat in the front yard and a Harley in the barn EVER repay you for your Faith in me..

    I'll take one of those Landover Gun Club Coffee mugs if I can find the link again...
    I guess they would call that tithe'n..

    "And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now. This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth His glory; and His disciples believed on Him" (John 2:10-11 KJV)
    Tags: None
    • Ezekiel Bathfire
      Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
      Christ's Rottweiler
       
      • Jan 2008
      • 22897
      #2
      Re: Wow!!!!

      De:10:16: Circumcise therefore the foreskin of your heart, and be no more stiffnecked. is one of Pastor Zeke's favorite verses. He is most generous and understanding.
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

        Comment

        • Mrs. Rogers
          compassion personified
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 2692
          #3
          Re: Wow!!!!

          Originally posted by Brother Quest View Post
          I'm jumpin up and down in my pants right now.
          I do hope your belt was tightened before jumping; I remember hearing about an incident involving Pastor Zeke coaching a swimming pool full of young True Christian™ men; Pastor Zeke became quite sweaty and red of face, and had to excuse himself. He briefly locked himself in the LBC pool office, and was sighted emerging a few minutes later looking calmer and pulling up his trousers.

          It transpired that Pastor Zeke is so incredibly disciplined that, whilst watching the male swimmers perform the surprisingly masculine "butterfly" -- demonstrating their powerful shoulders and undulating hips -- Zeke became so eager to exercise that he began perspiring in advance, and took himself off to the office for a bout of jumping jacks. Unfortunately his belt wasn't done up properly beforehand, which is why his trousers needed pulling up when he had finished exercising. Zeke had perspired so much due to his work-out that half a box of used tissues was found stuffed in the wastepaper basket, underneath a crumpled poster of bonghead Michael Phelps. It is a mystery to this day as to where that particular poster came from, as only posters containing motivational scripture are allowed in the pool office ...

          ... now where was I? Oh yes, keep your belt tightened properly, dear. And congratulations on becoming a forum member!
          True Christians are Perfect!

          Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

          Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

          For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

            Comment

            • TheLordSavedMe
              A young lady servicing the Lord
              True Christian™
              • Jun 2009
              • 579
              #4
              Re: Wow!!!!

              That is really great Brother Quest! Way to go!!!

              I remember when I became a member, I got so tingly that I had to use TWO of Reverend Jim prayer cloths I was so filled with the LOVE of Jesus!





              CONGRATULATIONS!!!


              Tammi


              Girls, do you have embarrassing "problems" with your down there parts like I used to?               Reverend Jim Osborne can help!


              sigpic

              He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he. Deuteronomy 32-4

                Comment

                • SUV
                  True Christian™ Princess
                  The Driving Force behind RA12
                  Have at it, anytime!
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 11027
                  #5
                  Re: Wow!!!!

                  Originally posted by Brother Quest View Post
                  I'm jumpin up and down in my pants right now.. The good Pastor has forgivin my sins and made me an actual forum member. Praise Jesus!!!!
                  I am double-DoG-deelighted for you, Brother. Praise!

                  "How can a Redneck South Texas Christian....EVER repay you for your Faith in me.."

                  They have their ways. Believe (in) me....they have their ways

                    Comment

                    • danielvutran
                      Unsaved trash, sneaky little chink
                      • Jan 2010
                      • 2
                      #6
                      Re: Wow!!!!

                      You are bragging about being accepted here? Rather than bragging about being accepted by Christ himself?

                      At this rate. You are going to Hell. I suggest you repent for your sins, immediately.

                        Comment

                        • James Hutchins
                          True Christian™
                          Just a Regular Nice Guy
                           
                          • Jun 2009
                          • 29453
                          #7
                          Re: Wow!!!!

                          Being accepted here is merely a first step towards being accepted by God. Everybody knows that, well, except one person, apparently.
                          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                            Comment

                            Previous template Next
                            Working...