[TheLordSavedMe]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

Tammi,
I Have been on my own for over a year since the wife died in a auto accident and people are beginning to ask why I am still on my own. I will only say that the auto accident took something from me that I didn't think I would ever get over losing, my old dog Beau. They say that time heals all wounds and I am beginning to think I should Remarry.
I am still living in my Winnebago but it is new and a 45 footer so there is room enough for somebody else. I am presently driving west and would consider traveling to California to see if your father and I will get along and come to some sort of arrangement. Before making the drive I need to know if you consider yourself a good cook, what would you say is your best meal you regularly serve? I also don't want any confusion later but you will not be allowed to touch certain of my personal things without my permission and when we are on the road you can never, never change the radio station. If you agree to my terms I will make the drive out there and will try to save you from an eternity of hell and damnation.

Uhm, I guess you could come out to San Jose. But even though I might go to Hell and stuff I can't like promise to marry you without at least meeting you first, can I?

And don't be mad or anything, but you're like how old? You look like you're grampa-old from your avatar and that really is you, right?

But like the Professor said, it's better than being raped by Satan forever and ever, so yeah, come on out here. My Dad is a drunk so I'm sure he won't care. If you told him you were going to cut my head off and use my skull for an ashtray, he'd probably say "Yeah, whatever! Buy me a bottle of bourbon and you can have my other brat kid too!" (I have a half brother with a cleft pallet, he lives in Montana).

Send me a PM and I'll give you directions. I'd do it on the main boards, but I don't want a bunch of unsaved perverts coming to my house and raping me!


Tammi

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

Uhm, I guess you could come out to San Jose. But even though I might go to Hell and stuff I can't like promise to marry you without at least meeting you first, can I?

And don't be mad or anything, but you're like how old? You look like you're grampa-old from your avatar and that really is you, right?

But like the Professor said, it's better than being raped by Satan forever and ever, so yeah, come on out here. My Dad is a drunk so I'm sure he won't care. If you told him you were going to cut my head off and use my skull for an ashtray, he'd probably say "Yeah, whatever! Buy me a bottle of bourbon and you can have my other brat kid too!" (I have a half brother with a cleft pallet, he lives in Montana).

Send me a PM and I'll give you directions. I'd do it on the main boards, but I don't want a bunch of unsaved perverts coming to my house and raping me!


Tammi

Tammi,
I am a spry pre 60 year old I will have you know. Are you age prejudice by any chance Tammi? I do not like to be around bigots but I don't like being around Negroes or messicans (or camel jockeys,koreans........and will run across the street to avoid vietcong gooks) either. Most of all I don't like bigots. Tell your father I am coming and I will discuss your dowry with him when I arrive.
Before it comes up, There is no room in the RV for your deformed brother either so you don't need to bring that up at all. A PM will be sent after Touched by an Angel goes off TV.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

Tammi,
I am a spry pre 60 year old I will have you know. Are you age prejudice by any chance Tammi? I do not like to be around bigots but I don't like being around Negroes or messicans (or camel jockeys,koreans........and will run across the street to avoid vietcong gooks) either. Most of all I don't like bigots. Tell your father I am coming and I will discuss your dowry with him when I arrive.
Before it comes up, There is no room in the RV for your deformed brother either so you don't need to bring that up at all. A PM will be sent after Touched by an Angel goes off TV.

I think you two would make a great couple. You have my blessing.

[TheLordSavedMe]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

Tammi,
I am a spry pre 60 year old I will have you know. Are you age prejudice by any chance Tammi? I do not like to be around bigots but I don't like being around Negroes or messicans (or camel jockeys,koreans........and will run across the street to avoid vietcong gooks) either. Most of all I don't like bigots. Tell your father I am coming and I will discuss your dowry with him when I arrive.
Before it comes up, There is no room in the RV for your deformed brother either so you don't need to bring that up at all. A PM will be sent after Touched by an Angel goes off TV.

See, now I made you mad, and I didn't want to do that!

I just, I just want to make sure your a nice man and everything. This is all happening like soooooo fast and I'm, well I don't know much about boys, I mean men, and what they do to you and stuff. I'm just kinda nervous is all, I'll be alright.

Oh, and I was sorta making a joke about my half brother. I hardly know him anyways. To tell you the truth, he kinda creeps me out with his lips all messed up and the way he talks.

I think God punished him 'cuz my Dad is like a total drunk actually. But it is sad that he can't talk right and is super ugly, but God has rules for a reason!

I think you two would make a great couple. You have my blessing.

Thanks Pastor, that makes me feel better. Since my Dad is a drunk and all and you and Reverend Jim have like been soooooooo nice to me, you're both kinda like my Dads!

Tammi

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

Tammi,
I am spelling that right, huh? It is a short name and with no 'y' on the end it won't be as easy to forget. I got your PM and have started my drive towards California. I will soon be passing the Louisiana, Texas border. I will drive for a few more miles on the interstate then get on the back roads as I must find a Baptist Church to fellowship with tomorrow. I have not been in this area before so it will be a new church for me tomorrow. Best I can figure I should be in California Tuesday or Wednesday.I hope your local church has Wednesday evening service so I can go and see what kind of guidance you have been getting from your Pastor and I can get a report card from him about you BEFORE I speak with your father.

I do not like to show up someplace with my hat in my hand, I always bring a house warming gift. I know I can pick up a bottle of cheap booze anywhere but does your father have a brand name he is loyal to? I understand that is the norm with drunks. What kind of thing should I bring your mother? The only thing I could think of is stopping at a Stuckeys restaurant and pick up a pecan log roll or something like that.

I have enclosed a brochure shot of my new RV. This picture is the same type and paint scheme anyway, you will notice, when you see mine, that I had the Sundeck and roof ''kitchen'' installed. It has a fold up screen patio up there which should be good for your monthly ''woman's time'' but we can talk about those things later. I just wanted you to know I was thinking of your comfort too. Inside the RV is all marble floors so you should have little problem keeping them clean. When you 1st see my new rv you have to remember I have not had a chance to make it me. I don't know if you knew but I have quite an interest in taxidermy. I know there is not a lot of room for lots of stuff so you can help me decide which of my trophies should go where.


I was wondering do you have an HGV license? If you are thinking ''huh'' right now that means no you haven't taken a heavy goods vehicle test, yet. If I were to be delayed you should get the book and start studying for the test as the laws are a bit different than a regular auto license.



well I better get back to driving, California isn't getting any closer just sitting here.

[Brother Helge]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

Congrats!
And btw - Mr Davis seems to be a real gentleman with his heart on the right place. Good luck!

[TheLordSavedMe]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

Tammi,
I am spelling that right, huh? It is a short name and with no 'y' on the end it won't be as easy to forget. I got your PM and have started my drive towards California. I will soon be passing the Louisiana, Texas border. I will drive for a few more miles on the interstate then get on the back roads as I must find a Baptist Church to fellowship with tomorrow. I have not been in this area before so it will be a new church for me tomorrow. Best I can figure I should be in California Tuesday or Wednesday.I hope your local church has Wednesday evening service so I can go and see what kind of guidance you have been getting from your Pastor and I can get a report card from him about you BEFORE I speak with your father.

I do not like to show up someplace with my hat in my hand, I always bring a house warming gift. I know I can pick up a bottle of cheap booze anywhere but does your father have a brand name he is loyal to? I understand that is the norm with drunks. What kind of thing should I bring your mother? The only thing I could think of is stopping at a Stuckeys restaurant and pick up a pecan log roll or something like that.

I have enclosed a brochure shot of my new RV. This picture is the same type and paint scheme anyway, you will notice, when you see mine, that I had the Sundeck and roof ''kitchen'' installed. It has a fold up screen patio up there which should be good for your monthly ''woman's time'' but we can talk about those things later. I just wanted you to know I was thinking of your comfort too. Inside the RV is all marble floors so you should have little problem keeping them clean. When you 1st see my new rv you have to remember I have not had a chance to make it me. I don't know if you knew but I have quite an interest in taxidermy. I know there is not a lot of room for lots of stuff so you can help me decide which of my trophies should go where.


I was wondering do you have an HGV license? If you are thinking ''huh'' right now that means no you haven't taken a heavy goods vehicle test, yet. If I were to be delayed you should get the book and start studying for the test as the laws are a bit different than a regular auto license.

[ATTACH]13286[/ATTACH]

well I better get back to driving, California isn't getting any closer just sitting here.

OMG, I'm soooooooooooo totally super sorry I couldn't respond sooner, but things got REALLLLLY crazy around here over the weekend!

Okay, so first I tell my Mom that you're coming out here and that I'm probably gonna marry you so I won't go to HELL and she kinda got like really, really super mad!

See, her and Stuart (her "boyfriend") are like totally against religion and they don't even believe in God, so she is all yelling at me and saying that I'm crazy and that Landover is washing my brain or something.

So we got into this totally HUGE fight and she took the computer out of my room and like screamed that you were a sicko pervy old man who was like a predator or a vampire or something. She gets REALLLLLLLY hard to understand when she gets mad, her voice gets really high and she keeps yelling at you even when she is walking around the house.

So then I just left with her going all crazy and I went to my Dad's apartment. I told my Dad you wanted to talk to him about that dowry thing. He asked me what it was and I said I dunno, but he looked it up on the internet and said I could stay with him until you got here, so that's where I am now. I'll send you his address in a PM.

Oh, and the booze thing is, wait, I think he said something about Charlie Daniels maybe? He's that fat old guy that plays the violin in that commercial I think. Does he own a booze factory?

Anyways, I'm starting to get excited that your coming, and my Dad is too he told me to tell you!!!



Tammi +

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

OMG, I'm soooooooooooo totally super sorry I couldn't respond sooner, but things got REALLLLLY crazy around here over the weekend!

Okay, so first I tell my Mom that you're coming out here and that I'm probably gonna marry you so I won't go to HELL and she kinda got like really, really super mad!

See, her and Stuart (her "boyfriend") are like totally against religion and they don't even believe in God, so she is all yelling at me and saying that I'm crazy and that Landover is washing my brain or something.

So we got into this totally HUGE fight and she took the computer out of my room and like screamed that you were a sicko pervy old man who was like a predator or a vampire or something. She gets REALLLLLLLY hard to understand when she gets mad, her voice gets really high and she keeps yelling at you even when she is walking around the house.

So then I just left with her going all crazy and I went to my Dad's apartment. I told my Dad you wanted to talk to him about that dowry thing. He asked me what it was and I said I dunno, but he looked it up on the internet and said I could stay with him until you got here, so that's where I am now. I'll send you his address in a PM.

Oh, and the booze thing is, wait, I think he said something about Charlie Daniels maybe? He's that fat old guy that plays the violin in that commercial I think. Does he own a booze factory?

Anyways, I'm starting to get excited that your coming, and my Dad is too he told me to tell you!!!



Tammi +

Welll you are showing a bit of sense by getting away from your mothers house as she has no say in this matter what so ever. I hope I don't arrive and find any of these femnazi tendencies. I am understanding why your father lives in a separate house, did your mother take up with this ''boyfriend'' after the separation or before? I was going to speak to your mother out of my tendency to be polite but from what you say I believe I will forgo it this time. As for your father you have told me all I need to know as well, just tell him I know what a sheckel is worth these days (or should I say 50 sheckels) and I expect him to know it too. I have stopped by a store called 'Liquor World'', it was built right inside a truck stop believe it or not, and purchased 2 cases of Jack Daniels so I hope you were right about the name. I figured if you weren't quantity would beat quality in his case anyway.
I am still waiting to hear if You have Wednesday Night services at your Church. If you do I will definitely be there by Tomorrow afternoon, if not McGuyver is on TV tonight and I will pull over early.
You won't have to worry about your mother taking your computer, I will get yo a laptop as a wedding gift. I don't like anybody touching mine so you will have to have your own anyway.
Yours,
Benedict A Davis
Husband to be.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

Tammi,
I am sorry that I did not arrive as was planned today but there was a little problem with my travel plans.
I had crossed the california state line and stopped in this small town that seemed to consist of one gas station/ diner, police department, 4 biker bars and one unholy catylik church.
I was filling up the diesel tank and grabbing a quick burger inside. While inside I struck up the conversation with the local sheriff who had moved into the diner as his AC at the jailhouse was on the blink. while talking he was asking me about my new RV and I offered him a tour. We had just gotten thru the door of the RV when the sheriff drew his gun and placed me under arrest! It seems that bringing 2 cases of Jack Daniels whiskey into california, purchased in Nevada for your father, is considered BOOTLEGGING!
One thing positive about the situation is the sheriff is allowing me to sleep in my RV tonight because the jailhouse is sooo hot without the AC working. Of course the Sheriff will be staying in my spare bed to make sure I stay under arrest. One would think the lawmen of this country would not trust a True Christian to be here in the morning. But then he would be sleeping in that sweltering jailhouse.
I hope to see you tomorrow but either way I should have better access to the internet and let you know for sure.

Your Husband to be,
Benedict A Davis

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

Tammi.
you probably are wondering where I am and why I haven't contacted you earlier today,. I am still a guest of this lovely city and if you can call it good news the traveling ''Judge'' will be in town tomorrow. Supposedly he was doing some ''County Judges of Southern California Convention in Reno. I was told I was lucky because the Judge was scheduled to a 2 week convention in Vegas next week. The reason I haven't written was that I was given a choice of riding around with the Sheriff all day or sitting in the non-air conditioned cell by myself . I kept the sheriff, Luther, company all day. He even deputized me, to make it official. Luther lent me a spare badge and of course I had my own gun. It was a good thing that we dealt with drunken messicans all day because, on close inspection, the badge he lent me said ''Junior G man''. Most of the time Luther is a real nice guy but he is certainly vigilent protecting his county against illegal aliens. We would stop a car with 5-6 messicans in it and he would politely ask one time ''papers please'' but if one of them got smart alrcky and come back with a smart alec remark like ''que?'' he became a changed man. The 1st time I saw this he had 2 of them beat down to the ground and 3 others tazed before I could say ''huh''.
After seeing these taser guns in action I think you will be learning how to use one it will settle any arguement that you might find yourself in.
Well Tammi I am off to bed, it was a lomg day today. I hope yo see you Tomorrow.
Your Husband to be,
Benedict A Davis

PS Have you started your bookwork for your Heavy Goods Vehicle License yet?

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

Brother Benedict, Sister Tammi:

I just caught up with this, what wonderful news

Jesus has brought you both together ................Praise him, Praise the Lord

[Nobar King]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

Congratulations, TLSM, I'm looking forward to seeing more of you around church, now that you're a True Christian.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

Tammi,
Well I am on the road again, finally. The Judge showed up at 4 o'clock, to check his messages he said, and found out he had my case pending!
Court took 15 minutes, I was found guilty and could challenge the decision in 2 weeks on his return or I could pay court costs and state taxes owed on the whiskey. The difference in taxes between Nevada and california was $1.07 a bottle. Yes almost $30 and court costs are $86. In total a bit over $100! Normally I would have fought this case but to be honest I needed to get away from my new ''friend'' Sheriff Luther. His bathing habits were not exactly pristine or even regular. I will have to stop in the first big town I pass through and have the RV fumigated to make sure I am not importing any ''illeagals'' imto civilized California...if I ever reach it.
I found it odd that you have not answered yesterdays posting to you. Has your father stopped you because I am not there as I said I would be. I do believe I have just proved that I am a man of my word, paying that exorbitant fine instead of fighting that court decision.
Well I am on the road again and only have the breadth of California to pass through.
Your Husband to be,
Benedict A Davis

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

Tammi, if that is really your name, I have been here for 2 weeks waiting for you to contact me, nothing. I have been by the addresses you had given me and no one is at home and the newspapers are beginning to pile up in front of the door. Are you playing me for a fool, I wonder? On the bright side I have made a few friends while living in The Walmart parking lot, regular people that you might meet at any of their stores and many even spoke English. Unfortunately even their kindness is getting a bit thin with me there so long
I will be leaving before dark this afternoon and driving back to Freehold, life must go on.It must be my destiny to remain unmarried at this time, maybe I should get a dog?
No longer your husband to be,
Benedict A. Davis

[Sister Charli]

Re: THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! PRAISE JESUS!!

Oh dear. I do hope Miss Tammi is OK.

I know she had trouble with her heathen Mum and her strict Dad - who are not together but still have an influence.

Where could Miss Tammi be tho? She seemed so keen to catch up with you Mr B.A.D. I do not think she would stand you up. Do you think she is safe? Should we list her as a missing person?