[Titus Templeton]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

I was walking down the street the other day when I saw a black man running down the street with a TV under his arm.
I though "shit, that looks a lot like mine" so I went home and checked and mine was out tending to the cotton field.



Most gays are loosing their virginity a lot like how they learned to ride a bike. With their Dad having a firm grip on their shoulders.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

[Bubba Buck]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A car carrying 3 Jewish men drives off a cliff. What's the tragedy?

They were living their lives believing Jesus was a lie. What a joke! Ba dum tsst.

[Hahahahaha]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Here's a Joke.


Obama.
DROPS MIC

[Basilissa]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

Praising the former will send you to Heaven (John 3:16-18), praising the latter will send you to Hell (Exodus 20:4).

[Des]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

One temporarily died for your sins while the other was probably drawn flashing gang signs by some wetback catlick.

[Tuemescine]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture only takes ***blasphemy removed***
-A furry on the internet

[Titus Templeton]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Why are there no gramines? Because granades are granades and mines are mines.

[Brother Gonzalez]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Q:what do u call a load of white people running down a hill
A:avalanche

Q:what do u call a load of Mexicans running down a hill

A:mud slide

Q:what do u call a load of black people running down a hill


A: prison break

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

This is an old one I found

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

.

[Red Army]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

After Stalin’s death, the Soviet nation decided to get rid of him once and for all and bury him as far away as possible. They set up a special commission.
The commission turned to the British government with the request that they make available a plot in a British cemetery.
“Well,” replies the British government, ”we do already have Karl Marx in England … Two such great masters in the one cemetery . . . That would be overdoing it a bit…”
So they tried the Germans.
”Well, we would bury him here,’ reply the Germans, ‘but Hitler is already buried here. Two such great tyrants in the one country …”
Suddenly there arrived a telegram from Tel Aviv: ”In view of the fact that Stalin did not block the creation of the state of Israel, we agree to bury him here.”
”No way,” said the members of the commission in sudden panic. ”No way. After all they had a resurrection there …’”

[Des]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

One rainy night after a few too many beers down at the road house, Pastor Dewitt Prejean over in Iberia Parish came home and got into an argument with his wife Carrie Ann and she got mad and drove off into the rainy night. Pastor Dewitt wasn't too worried because that kind of thing happened on a pretty regular basis. After a while Pastor Dewitt crawled into bed and slept like a log until about sunup. He wasn't real surprised that Carrie Ann wasn't there because she usually went to her mamma's house when she got mad.


That afternoon when Carrie Ann still hadn't come back, Pastor Dewitt called over to mamma's house and she hadn't seen her at all. Dewitt was concerned and he called the sheriff to report Carrie Ann missing. Deputy Robichaux came out and took the report and said he'd be in touch.


The deputy didn't call that night at all but he came back the next morning and knocked at the screen door. Pastor Dewitt came out on the porch and Deputy Robichaux told him he had some bad news and he had some good news. Pastor Dewitt said to go on and give him the bad news first. The deputy said he was sorry but he had to tell Dewitt that Carrie Ann drove off the bridge into the bayou and she was drowned. They had found her floating about 100 yards from the bridge.


The Pastor was shocked and he broke down in tears. The deputy said he was very sorry and that the coroner would be getting in touch with Pastor Dewitt the next day. The Pastor asked what the delay was for and the deputy brightened right up. He smiled and said that brings him to the good news. She had twelve big blue crabs on her he said and they were going to float her again that evening.

I'm sorry, Brother Moss, but I don't get this one. Why was Pastor Dewitt crying? Was the missus driving his favorite car?

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

One rainy night after a few too many beers down at the road house, Pastor Dewitt Prejean over in Iberia Parish came home and got into an argument with his wife Carrie Ann and she got mad and drove off into the rainy night. Pastor Dewitt wasn't too worried because that kind of thing happened on a pretty regular basis. After a while Pastor Dewitt crawled into bed and slept like a log until about sunup. He wasn't real surprised that Carrie Ann wasn't there because she usually went to her mamma's house when she got mad.


That afternoon when Carrie Ann still hadn't come back, Pastor Dewitt called over to mamma's house and she hadn't seen her at all. Dewitt was concerned and he called the sheriff to report Carrie Ann missing. Deputy Robichaux came out and took the report and said he'd be in touch.


The deputy didn't call that night at all but he came back the next morning and knocked at the screen door. Pastor Dewitt came out on the porch and Deputy Robichaux told him he had some bad news and he had some good news. Pastor Dewitt said to go on and give him the bad news first. The deputy said he was sorry but he had to tell Dewitt that Carrie Ann drove off the bridge into the bayou and she was drowned. They had found her floating about 100 yards from the bridge.


The Pastor was shocked and he broke down in tears. The deputy said he was very sorry and that the coroner would be getting in touch with Pastor Dewitt the next day. The Pastor asked what the delay was for and the deputy brightened right up. He smiled and said that brings him to the good news. She had twelve big blue crabs on her he said and they were going to float her again that evening.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Pastor told this one at Sunday services:


A Jew, a Mormon, and a True Christian(TM) all dared each other to jump over a candlestick with a three ft. high flame.


"I'll go first!" said the True Christian(TM) and he went through unscathed.


The Jew was next to go. He was engulfed in flames and died almost instantly. .


Next went the Mormon. He, too, went through the flame without incident. This puzzled the True Christian(TM). "How did you do that?" he inquired.


The Mormon smirked and said, "Asbestos magic underwear!"
Of course, the Mormon died a few months later of mesothelioma.