[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A Mary-worshiping Catholic goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the church.

Inside he finds a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall there's a row of decanters with fine whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."

The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot, you're on my side!”

[gracehart002]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming knowledgeable about the Bible.

But one day, she surprised her grandmother by asking, "Which virgin was the mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"

LOL i like this much of laugh

[I Am A Perverted Homosexual :)]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Ｗｈａｔ　ｄｏ　ｙｏｕ　ｃａｌｌ　２　Ｃｈｒｉｓｔｉａｎｓ　ｉｎ　ａ　ｓｌｅｅｐｉｎｇ　 ｂａｇ？

Ｄｏｕｂｌｅ　ｍｕｒｄｅｒ，　ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ　ｎｏｂｏｄｙ　ｌｉｋｅｓ　ｙｏｕ　：）

[Des]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Ｗｈａｔ　ｄｏ　ｙｏｕ　ｃａｌｌ　２　Ｃｈｒｉｓｔｉａｎｓ　ｉｎ　ａ　ｓｌｅｅｐｉｎｇ　 ｂａｇ？

Ｄｏｕｂｌｅ　ｍｕｒｄｅｒ，　ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ　ｎｏｂｏｄｙ　ｌｉｋｅｓ　ｙｏｕ　：）

Thank you, hellbound Godmocking sissyfag, for proving the Holy Bible 100% true and correct, and for helping pave the way of the righteous into heaven. I'll look down from there and give you a big thumbs up for that as you beseech God to forgive you and spare you the fiery tortures of hell you so deserve.

Psalm 9:13-14 Have mercy upon me, O Lord; consider my trouble which I suffer of them that hate me, thou that liftest me up from the gates of death:
That I may shew forth all thy praise in the gates of the daughter of Zion: I will rejoice in thy salvation.

Jeremiah 20:11But the Lord is with me as a mighty terrible one: therefore my persecutors shall stumble, and they shall not prevail: they shall be greatly ashamed; for they shall not prosper: their everlasting confusion shall never be forgotten.

Glory onto Him.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Why did the godly German soldier bring red and yellow paint to work? So he could whip up some orange Joos in the morning!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What language does a Jewish homer speak?



Heblew

[Donovan A. Mordecai]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What's the difference between a joo and a pizza?

The pizza doesn't scream in the oven

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

I saw her standing there and I told her
she had three beautiful children.

She didn't have to get all mad and
threaten me with Jihad.
It was an honest mistake......

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

God went to the Arabs and said,

'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'

The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'

And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'

'Can you give us an example?'

'Thou shall not kill.'

'Not kill? We're not interested.'

So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,

'Honor thy Father and Mother.'

'Father? We don't know who our fathers are.

We're not interested.'

Then He went to the Mexicans and said,

'I have Commandments.'

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.'

'Not steal? We're not interested.'

Then He went to the French and said,

'I have Commandments.'

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'

'Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'

Finally, He went to the Jews and said,

'I have Commandments.'

'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'

'They're free.'

'We'll take 10.'

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What do God-hated Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?









ANSWER...









Polaroids!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What does a joo with an erection get when it runs into a wall?



A broken nose.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

What does a wiccan do after he dumps his girlfriend?









Answer...









Wipe his butt

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

I heard a couple of good ones I'd like to share.

What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?

..................A bisexual.




Mohammed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said, “I heard you were planning to leave me?”

She replied, “Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!”

Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds, “that's a mighty big word for a 6 year old."

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.
The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished, the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished, the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished, the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies, " Since Obama took over, the country’s gone to hell, so it's a local call."