[Miss muslimdestroyer]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

oooooooooooooh, sitting on Jesus' lap please!! Yes, yes yeeeeees! While watching the damned burn too, of course, what a turn on!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

And let's not forget homers. We can watch the devil say to them, "You wanted special privileges? I've got a special privilege for you right here!"

Ah the irony, the gays will have finally had their equality and it will be do ask, do tell in Hell when the gays are burning next to all of the other sinners! GLORY!

Who says Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

I agree with you Brother James 100% here, but I just wanted to clarify one specific type of Hellbound heathen I'm looking forward to watching burn.

And let's not forget homers. We can watch the devil say to them, "You wanted special privileges? I've got a special privilege for you right here!"

[Lycia The Repentant]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

I am looking forward to never having to talk to a heathen,God Mocker, pasta-demon worshiper or Catlik again, ever! Please Jesus, come take me Home.

I agree with you Brother James 100% here, but I just wanted to clarify one specific type of Hellbound heathen I'm looking forward to watching burn.

[James Dewitt]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

I am looking forward to never having to talk to a heathen,God Mocker or Catlik again, ever! Please Jesus, come take me Home.

[despising david]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

I personally am going to roast marshmallow's from the flames of the damned, and make delicious smore's that are better than any other's because of the gigantic I told you so grin I will have whilst I eat!!! That and I hope that there is also a good set of dunes to jump on a good ol four wheeler or bronco

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

I imagine that Jesus serves the best beer imaginable, and the juiciest Porterhouse steaks.

I hope He has plenty of slaves up there for us to beat.

Luke 12:46 The lord of that servant will come in a day when he looketh not for him, and at an hour when he is not aware, and will cut him in sunder, and will appoint him his portion with the unbelievers. 12:47 And that servant, which knew his lord's will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

Leaping and dancing before the LORD . II SAMUEL 6:16c

One thing keeps popping into my mind as I contemplate sitting in His lap - dancing: will it be acceptable in Heaven? As part of praising His name, the rôle of dancing is well documented.

Didn't Revered Osborn have this in one of his sermons on tape? If I recall he had a pretty impressive graphic playing on the jumbotron.

[Wide-Open]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

What a great thread!

I was going to say that I wanted to see my dog again that I accidently shot after becoming a True Christian(TM), but silly me, dogs don't have souls and thus can't go to Heaven.

So I settled for the second best option, a rather popular one it seems.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

Leaping and dancing before the LORD . II SAMUEL 6:16c

One thing keeps popping into my mind as I contemplate sitting in His lap - dancing: will it be acceptable in Heaven? As part of praising His name, the rôle of dancing is well documented.

Psalm 149:3 Let them praise his name in the dance: let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp.

II Samuel 6:14 And David danced before the LORD with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod.

Ecclesiastes 3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

Jeremiah 31:4 Again I will build thee, and thou shalt be built, O virgin of Israel: thou shalt again be adorned with thy tabrets, and shalt go forth in the dances of them that make merry

Luke 7
31 And the Lord said, Whereunto then shall I liken the men of this generation? and to what are they like?
32 They are like unto children sitting in the marketplace, and calling one to another, and saying, We have piped unto you, and ye have not danced; we have mourned to you, and ye have not wept.
33 For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine; and ye say, He hath a devil.
34 The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!

Matthew 11:17 And saying, We have piped unto you, and ye have not danced; we have mourned unto you, and ye have not lamented.

Job 21:11-12 They send forth their little ones like a flock, and their children dance. They take the timbrel and harp, and rejoice at the sound of the organ.

Jeremiah 31:13 Then shall the virgin rejoice in the dance, both young men and old together: for I will turn their mourning into joy, and will comfort them, and make them rejoice from their sorrow.

Psalm 150:4 Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.



There will be permanent praise in Heaven; will I be able to dance for Jesus?

Psalm 30:11-12 Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness; To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

I'm hoping that in Heaven we can control the tortures in Hell. Like you can get a bunch of gays and have them thrown into a pit of lions to get eaten. Or setting some Democrats and Methodists on fire. Or burying alive atheists and secularists and watching them gasp for air. Then after they "die", they come back to life and have to resume the torture.

Yea, I'm pretty sure we'll be able to do that in Heaven because it wouldn't be Heaven if we couldn't do that, right?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

I'm a politican. We are ridiculed, despised and humiliated.

I'm hoping there will be a section where we can be treated with proper respect in heaven.

Mayor Hold, I am 100% confident that you will receive every bit of the the respect you deserve in Heaven.

As for me, I wonder if there will be time for fun and games and meeting relatives and such, what with the unending worshiping, praising, hymn-singing, and serving.

Those streets paved with transparent gold probably won't shine themselves. Is that what the women will be doing?

[Seth Campbell]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

I wonder if we'll be able to roast marshmallows over the pits of hell while watching the screaming.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

I kind of hate to reveal what I would like to see, but this is it.

I'm a politican. We are ridiculed, despised and humiliated.

I'm hoping there will be a section where we can be treated with proper respect in heaven.

[Cindy Lou Jenkins]

Re: POLL: what facilities are looking forward to in Heaven?

I figure since I love the smell of barbecue chicken, the aroma of the damned all burning in Hell at once will be most pleasing to my purified, heavenly nostrils.

(Billy Bob: I approve this post.)