[Mistress Cookie]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.



I am on the very cusp of the United States....HAWAII! This means I'm at last less than halfway around the world from you, James!!

Dear God™ ! ! !

I had to go back to Captain Tommy when no one wired funds, and he gave me a hard time about keeping the stewardess uniform. But with a little encouragement on my behalf, I got him to throw a party for his pilot friends, and one of them got me on a plane to L.A....then a connection to the isles. I had to work the flight, though, passing out drinks and rolling that heavy cart around, so no one got suspicious. And it wasn't even First Class; I was stuck in the back with the pawing animals.

Tommow I get a flight to China, if I meet up with the pilot I got referred to. Then it's up into the mountains!

Jeez my knee hurts, but I've been applying the brandy externally and internally, like Brother Student said.

I'll have goods to bribe you out of there, James, because the reason they didn't find all my jewelry on me in airport security is I hid it in my updo! My neck is kind of stiff from keeping my head up, but I don't think any rattled out.

Try to figure out which monk looks the greediest...or has pierced ears.
.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

I am on the very cusp of the United States....HAWAII! This means I'm at last less than halfway around the world from you, James!!

Dear God™ ! ! !

I had to go back to Captain Tommy when no one wired funds, and he gave me a hard time about keeping the stewardess uniform. But then he threw a party for his pilot friends, and one of them got me on a plane to L.A....then a connection to the isles. I had to work the flight, though, passing out drinks and rolling that heavy cart around, so no one got suspicious. And it wasn't even First Class; I was stuck in the back with the pawing animals.

Tommow I get a flight to China, if I meet up with the pilot I got referred to. Then it's up into the mountains!

Jeez my knee hurts, but the bruise is fading anyway. I've been applying the brandy externally and internally, like Brother Student said.

I'll have goods to bribe you out of there, James, because the reason they didn't find any of my jewelry on me in airport security is I hid it all in my updo! My neck is kind of stiff from keeping my head up, but I don't think any rattled out.

Try to figure out which monk looks the greediest...or has pierced ears.

Sister Cookie, I just love the way you're playing along with James's practical joke. You're so convincing!

Wait a minute . . . You two are up to something, aren't you?

Are you . . . no, it can't be. Is the great bachelor himself going to finally settle down?! Did you two have a secret wedding, and this is your spy-novel honeymoon?

How romantic!

Where shall I send a wedding gift?

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Sister Cookie, I just love the way you're playing along with James's practical joke. You're so convincing!

Wait a minute . . . You two are up to something, aren't you?

G-damn it I am losing my temper which is rare for me. NO it's not a joke and YES Brother James is in trouble and NO we're not married and NO good True Christian™ women goes hobbling around in 3rd class getting pinched black and blue and YES we need help and NO, no one in Landover is helping. (Maybe my posts are being deleted by someone, I won't say who.)

Hope that clears things up

I'm going to go curl up on the beach until sunrise. They're kicking me out of the hotel lobby

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

G-damn it I am losing my temper which is rare for me. NO it's not a joke and YES Brother James is in trouble and NO we're not married and NO good True Christian™ women goes hobbling around in 3rd class getting pinched black and blue and YES we need help and NO, no one in Landover is helping. (Maybe my posts are being deleted by someone, I won't say who.)

Hope that clears things up

I'm going to go curl up on the beach until sunrise. They're kicking me out of the hotel lobby

Such a good actress! You're really playing this to the hilt, Sister. I am truly impressed by your convincing portrayal of the desperate, inept, love-starved woman giving up everything to save the man she adores . . . a man who barely knows she exists until his time of need arises. Why, if I didn't know better, I'd even believe that everyone at Landover has turned their backs on Jim and are brutally pillaging his assets!

What is the next part of the saga? Will it be when we discover that he was set up? Do we have to figure out by whom? I love a good mystery!

Say, would you consider taking on the role of Mary Magdalene for my congregation's Easter pageant? It's a faithful recreation, but set in modern times. Rehearsals don't start until early March; I hope you two lovebirds will be back by then, not off on an extended holiday. You'd be perfect for the role, I bet!

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Brother Jim,
I want to thank you so much for allowing me to buy T-Bone so quickly! I mean within a week of you just mentioning to sell your miniature beef herd and I purchased him at auction yesterday. J guess when you are willing to sell these prize animals at butcher beef auction prices they are sure to sell. Do you know what I paid for T-Bone, of course you do, the check was made out to cash in case you are wondering who got such a fine animal for $47. I also purchased that miniature Brahma bull but I paid cash for it.$200 was a bit steep but your field boss said there were only 4 in the world that were perfect miniature Brahma's, he was saying it was next to impossible to get them through gestation. I am calling her Ribeye. Hey, do you know if anybody has housebroke one of these guys? I got one of them leash trained already and let me tell you we turn a few heads, T-Bone and
I. Be honest, we look good together.

When I was talking to your field boss [along with Brother Porter}, I was asking what got you interested in mini cows. Brother Porter told me that you had some crazy [his words not mine, I promise]idea to finance a western movie starring nothing but midgets.
A word of warning, it has been done without great success. I mean, you would expect it to be a classic but no, it did not stand the test of time.

[James Hutchins]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Mr. Dewitt. I was able to get $50K out of your bank in Vegas, no questions asked. I was at the tables, trying to turn it into the needed $75K but failed. No doubt it was due to Gods Will. As you know I am an excellent card player so it could not been my fault. I will withdraw another $50K today and try again. I vow to you on this day, in front of all these witnesses, I will not stop until I succeed.
Some good news is that the Bellagio is comping the suite and meals for Mandi, Candi and I.

[James Dewitt]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Mr. Dewitt. I was able to get $50K out of your bank in Vegas, no questions asked. I was at the tables, trying to turn it into the needed $75K but failed. No doubt it was due to Gods Will. As you know I am an excellent card player so it could not been my fault. I will withdraw another $50K today and try again. I vow to you on this day, in front of all these witnesses, I will not stop until I succeed.
Some good news is that the Bellagio is comping the suite and meals for Mandi, Candi and I.

èrbī get me out of here, I hope you are yín chóng, shǎbī
chòubī, when I get back I am so going to sāobī slap you! zǒugǒu! !!!

[James Hutchins]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Wow, another $50K gone in only four hours. I have to wonder what terrible things you did Mr. Dewitt that has angered God so much as to take all your money. I'll try again later today. I will not leave Vegas and my suite at the Bellagio untill I have the money you need. I sure am glad I brought the entire check book.

[James Dewitt]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Wow, another $50K gone in only four hours. I have to wonder what terrible things you did Mr. Dewitt that has angered God so much as to take all your money. I'll try again later today. I will not leave Vegas and my suite at the Bellagio untill I have the money you need. I sure am glad I brought the entire check book.

Hutchins GOD will get you for turning your back on a True Christian friend EX friend! I cant believe you are gambling with MY money why have to refused to help Cookie get ME OUT OF HERE???? What have I done to deserve this?

For Mistress Cookie only
Cookie when you get here, there is a small gate on the north end of the compound, the guard is a opium fiend, buy some to bribe him. Me cell is about 150 yards east of there. Why have our friends refused to help?
Bless you Sister, bless you. James

[Sam Diamond]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

I sure hope the Church has stepped in and taken control of Mr Dewitts assets. I would hate to see all that money given to Godless Buddhists. It all belongs to Jesus. What happened to make a good Christian like him turn his back to Jesus? Brother Hutchins I assume that you are now running Dewitt Corp?

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.



The Catlicks got me ! ! !

The shore patrol found me sleeping in a sand dune and forced me into this shelter ! ! ! Therer are nuns everywhere and some evil priests or something ordering everyone around! I am speechless with fright and can hardly move.

They tried to beat me out of bed to go work in some community garden but I pretended to faint and they went away. One of the "sisters" examined me while I was "out" and I heard her say "fatigued". I want to leave but I heard her say "soup and rest, for now". I need the nourishment, but are they trying to fatten me up for sacrifice???

I have to get back in bed now before they come back. Luckily the offices here have computers and doors that yield to hairpins.

There are pictures of Mary Worship here and bleeding hearts on fire. I am sickened.

But I also want some soup.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

èrbī get me out of here, I hope you are yín chóng, shǎbī
chòubī, when I get back I am so going to sāobī slap you! zǒugǒu! !!!

Brother James, Did you buy some cheap chinese rip off of a computer. I was reading this email on my laptop while eating my moo goo gai pan at the golden dragon. The waiter, you know the one, he is the chink looking guy, glanced over my shoulder and was suddenly in fits of laughter. He said you were writing chinese and you were not being your usual Christian self! Well I will tell you I would have pummeled him but you never know if these guys are kung fu masters or not so we talked instead. He said you wrote a few choice things and I for one was shocked. I wrote these down so as not to get them wrong.
èrbī=piffleing idiot (lit. "double cooter"]
yín chóng= lewd worms. Men who frequently enjoy having sex with women.
shǎbī =stupid person (lit. "stupid cooter"]
sāobī=bitch (lit. "lewd cooter")
zǒugǒu! =lapdog, translated into English as "running dog",he said it means an unprincipled person who helps or flatters other, more powerful and often evil people!
Brother James There must be some mistake with his translations you should either get rid of that computer then BUY AMERICAN or if the translations are correct you need to spend some serious time in your prayer closet.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

All right Porter the gloves are off. $500 bucks, I put you in charge of 1 Billion dollars and change, and all you have for me is $500 dollars.
MY shoe laces cost that. Call Cookie and get me the hell out of here! YOUR JOB DEPENDS ON IT! Jesus give me the strenght to get though this, I will get you mark my words!

Brother Dewitt,

The anger does not serve you well, nor contribute to your argument. But you are in my prayers.

However, we anticipated this at our recent board meeting and I regret to inform you that we have re-structered ownership of PFAC due to your prolonged absence. Part of this process was the retirement of the majority of our private shares (your holdings) through a reverse split in which common shares were exchanged for special, decorative non-equity stock.

As a result, you no longer enjoy a controlling interest in PFAC (or any interest at all for that matter).

But if you ever return to Freehold, you are welcome to stop in our lobby and complete an application for assistance from our benevolent Christian charity.

May God be with you in your troubled times.

Sincerely,

Harold Porter
CE0 PFAC Ministries.

[Bible Student]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Brother Dewitt,

The anger does not serve you well, nor contribute to your argument. But you are in my prayers.

However, we anticipated this at our recent board meeting and I regret to inform you that we have re-structered ownership of PFAC due to your prolonged absence. Part of this process was the retirement of the majority of our private shares (your holdings) through a reverse split in which common shares were exchanged for special, decorative non-equity stock.

As a result, you no longer enjoy a controlling interest in PFAC (or any interest at all for that matter).

But if you ever return to Freehold, you are welcome to stop in our lobby and complete an application for assistance from our benevolent Christian charity.

May God be with you in your troubled times.

Sincerely,

Harold Porter
CE0 PFAC Ministries.

Brother Harold, is there any way you can get the board to reconsider their decision? I believe that the calamity that has befallen Brother James DeWitt is not God's will.

I'm sure you recall the problem that the Israelites had several millennia ago.

Judges 1:19 -- And the Lord was with Iudah, and hee draue out the inhabitants of the mountaine, but could not driue out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had charets of yron.

It is a well established fact that the Chinese have had iron chariots since the rule of King Wu Ding of the late Shang Dynasty (c. 1200 BCE). Below is one such chariot.





Those chariots are now antiques and I am sure a few enterprising monks could come by a couple of them. And don't be deceived by those devious slants walking around praying in public (which the Bible tells us not to do). They are not exactly the sissies they pretend to be. They are warriors and invented Kung Fu. I would not put the possession of an iron chariot past them.

I implore you to at least consider having some of the knowledgeable Freehold researchers look into the matter. In the meantime, Freehold Baptist Church should ignore any rants from Brother DeWitt as they could possibly be due to hallucinations resulting from starvation. Besides if he is eating shellfish, the foul stuff could be affecting his brain. Those slants could even be stuffing it down his throat.

http://tinyurl.com/5wa7soq

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Brother Dewitt,

The anger does not serve you well, nor contribute to your argument. But you are in my prayers.

However, we anticipated this at our recent board meeting and I regret to inform you that we have re-structered ownership of PFAC due to your prolonged absence. Part of this process was the retirement of the majority of our private shares (your holdings) through a reverse split in which common shares were exchanged for special, decorative non-equity stock.

As a result, you no longer enjoy a controlling interest in PFAC (or any interest at all for that matter).

But if you ever return to Freehold, you are welcome to stop in our lobby and complete an application for assistance from our benevolent Christian charity.

May God be with you in your troubled times.

Sincerely,

Harold Porter
CE0 PFAC Ministries.

Brother Porter, I'm a bit concerned.

Brother James represented that DFAC was a charitable, non-profit 501(c)(3) foundation. As such, its articles of incorporation must specify that no assets may inure to the benefit of any individual upon the dissolution of the corporation; they must instead be distributed to other charitable organizations, or to the state, or the USA.

Non-profit corporations do not have "stock".

Are you saying that DFAC is not, in fact, a charitable organization?