[Faith_Machine]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

Tonight, I am ON FIRE for the Lord!

Faith Machine
Jun 12, 2011 4:55 AM GMT
Romans 6:23 says, "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Do you know what that means? It means you have one chance of being happy, and you will not find it by having filthy conversations in Yelp forums or "hooking up" with each other at Yelp booze-fests. Your one chance is to know Jesus. Please think about it.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

Posted another one for them!

Faith Machine
Jun 12, 2011 4:47 AM GMT
If you Yelpers think God doesn't see you boozing it up and having premarital sex, you are sadly mistaken! Hebrews 4:13 says, "Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do."

[Faith_Machine]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

Well I was able to successfully post the following messages:

Faith Machine
Jun 12, 2011 4:36 AM GMT
When I tried to talk in the Yelp forum about Jesus, the loose women on that site got it into their heads that it would be funny to torment me with inappropriately sexual personal messages. Lots of them. I had to close my account because I was sick of all the pornographic messages. Everybody reading these words needs to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior today!


Faith Machine
Jun 12, 2011 4:32 AM GMT
I was run off Yelp by all the God-mocking atheists because I dared to mention Jesus to them. I urge you people to spend less time worrying about were to get the best crepes and more time worry about God's judgment!

Still, I would still love to see all my brothers and sisters from Landover posting messages there. It would let all those lost, deluded sinners know that their libertine ways are not the norm!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

I am pleasantly surprised to report that somebody in the secular media has begun to tell the truth about the Yelp Web site and its vile users:


Yelp's Online Reviewing Mafia


I need your help, though! If you'll have a look at the reader comments posted under the article, you'll see that the God-mocking Yelpers have managed to turn Bloomberg's Businessweek into yet another one of their polluted playgrounds.

I have been attempting to post some messages there, so I could tell the whole world my story about being run off the site by all the harlots and sodomists, and also so I could rebuke those people in the name of Jesus Christ and urge them to get saved before it's too late.

Sadly, my initial post has disappeared, and now I'm just getting an error message when I try to post. I strongly suspect the site's admin deleted my post because it contained a Christian message, and now they've blocked my IP address.

I was wondering, therefore, if any of the good people here would be willing to try and post a Christian message under that article, and let me know whether you are successful?

Thank you in advance for your help!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

Based on the statements he's been posting in the Yelp Talk forums, I believe this individual is somebody who regularly frequents the Yelp site and interacts with the other sinners there.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

EMERGENCY!

Pastor Zeke is under attack!

The following Yelp profile has just come to my attention:

http://www.yelp.com/user_details?use...QryXtxcE1kFVDw

Obviously, this is not the real Pastor Zeke.

Obviously, it is not.

When I find out which Godmocker set up that phony-baloney account in my name, I'll have his guts for garters.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

EMERGENCY!

Pastor Zeke is under attack!

The following Yelp profile has just come to my attention:

http://www.yelp.com/user_details?use...QryXtxcE1kFVDw

Obviously, this is not the real Pastor Zeke.

I feel I am partly to blame for this. As previously mentioned, I know those vulgar people are aware of this thread, as they continue to taunt me with pornographic personal messages.

So in starting this thread, I have apparently painted a big, red target on Landover Baptist Church. I can only beg your forgiveness and take refuge in what the Bible tells us about the persecution of the faithful:

2 Timothy 3:12 . . . all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

Matthew 5:11–12 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

You may be right, Daisy. However, I do like having my Yelp account, as it allows me to write negative reviews of restaurants and local businesses which I feel are not doing all they can to glorify God.

If I walk into a restaurant and find that they are serving shellfish, or learn that a local store such as Target is selling lingerie to women without fist checking to make sure they're married, writing a review of that business on Yelp is, for me, a way of sending a powerful message that their God-denying business practices will not be tolerated.

I think the Bible makes it very clear that we have a responsibility to rebuke sinful businesses via any and all avenues available to us:

1 Timothy 5:20 Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.

2 Timothy 4:2 2 Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.

Titus 1:13 This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith;

Titus 2:15 These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

Thank you Daisy Mae!

I see that those "Yelpers" are posting additional pornographic conversation topics:

He coated the beef in flour

I don't get some of the words the kids of today use for slang. I take it to be some sort of birth control sheath?

That place is a cesspool of sin Brother Faith. I hope you pray fervently before, during and after you view it.

More importantly, I suggest blocking that site from your computer before demons from that sinful site infect it. Then, you could give us all computer demons!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

Thank you Daisy Mae!

I see that those "Yelpers" are posting additional pornographic conversation topics:

He coated the beef in flour

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

Daisy Mae, please forgive me for comparing you to a Roman Catholic. I didn't mean to! I only sought clarification on a doctrinal question.

Now I am very sad.

Cheer up Friend,

I found your question so important I decided to make my answer it' own thread.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=61713

JESUS brought you here for a reason. I'm sure here, at GOD'S Favorite Church, you will find the answers you are looking for.

GLORY!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

Daisy Mae, please forgive me for comparing you to a Roman Catholic. I didn't mean to! I only sought clarification on a doctrinal question.

Now I am very sad.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

Thanks you so much for your responses! I only wish I had seen them sooner, as I had a moment of terrible weakness late last night and gave into my animal instincts for almost a minute. You will be relieved to know, however, that I did not spill my seed.

Daisy Mae, I am a little concerned about your assertion regarding the souls of sperms, as it sounds troublingly similar to Roman Catholic beliefs:

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_happe...aborted_babies

What happens to the souls of aborted babies?
In: Abortion, Religion & Spirituality

This answer is from a Roman Catholic point of view. Since the earliest days of Christianity, the Church has debated this question but very early came to the decision that abortion is a "mortal sin" (a sin that will ensure that the parents and anyone included in the decision to abort will go straight to hell). The foetus is also considered to be "a sinner" in that it bears "original sin" ie. the sin of Adam and Eve who were cast out of the Garden Of Eden because they defied God and ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge. The aborted foetus has not had the benefit of Baptism to wash away "original sin". In Roman Catholic belief, the world hereafter is divided into several categories 1) Hell - the place where the souls those who die in the state of mortal sin go 2) Purgatory - A place where the souls of Christians who are guilty of mortal sin but are still in the process penance and forgiveness because the have confessed their sins to a priest. 3) Limbo - the place where the souls of aborted babies and righteous Jews will go. In Limbo the souls of unbaptised babies will never mature as adults. They will be happy but will never go to Heaven and consequently will never see God. 4) Heaven is the state of bliss where those completely without sin will have the "beatific vision", meaning they will see God.

It should noted that the existence of Purgatory and Limbo are based on Roman Catholic tradition and have no foundation in Christian Scriptures. In addition, the theological question of the souls of unbaptised babies going to Limbo is again a topic of debate and discussion, with many theologians now offering reasons why the unbaptised babies may not go to Limbo.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

Hello Friend,

You seem like a very nice young man who is struggling with self-molestation.

I just wanted to offer some advice, being the kind, thoughtful, True Christian Sister I am.

First of all, every time you go to rape yourself remember that the seed you spill are all little tiny sperm souls YOU just sent straight to HELL. Is it worth YOU going to HELL to spend all of Eternity with all of the "children" you just murdered?

This thread is worth a look.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=41600

If that is not enough to make you stop self-molesting, you may need more help. This thread is a very useful too as well.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=20129

Please stop murdering all those innocent sperm souls. What if YOU were in a load your father wasted on a Lane Bryant magazine? YOU would be in HELL right now!

Helpful,

Sister Thumper

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: WARNING: The restaurant site Yelp is a heinous cesspool of si

I know that touching oneself is certainly not the ideal activity, but if doing so enables me to put these fiery impulses to rest, and allows me to blow off enough steam that I am better able to resist the urge to take these strumpets up on their offers, wouldn't that act of self-abuse truly be the lesser evil?

It sounds to me like you are looking for some excuse to "shine the sword" or "shake hands with the unemployed" or "rub the magic lamp" or "tenderize the tube steak" or "pull the taffy" or whatever it is you kids are calling masturbation these days.

Get a hold of yourself Control your impulses!

(Proverbs 25:28) "He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls."

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth