[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

That;s pretty much what you all are already doing, so pat youself on the back for that one

No, we are not throwing away our lives based on false translations of Scripture. We have no lives of our own (see I Cor. 6:19-20). We've done the research and know that the KJV contains the accurate Words of God and is all Truth(tm). It is worth throwing away our lives for. We threw them away once we became Christians, devoting all our remaining efforts to rebuking the unwashed and opposing the representatives of debauchery (which is the whole world besides us).

Pastor Ed

[MisterM]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

This whole situation makes me feel sad and yet proud at same time.

I'm sad that Heathen Basher has let ass demons to enter him and now might burn in hell.

1 Timothy 4:1 - Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;

But what makes me proud is how all of you are so willing to help and spare no expense (of course I'm sure that he will cover all your expenses after he understands your help, didn't he just inherit some money?) to make it possible.

Please save him at any cost. Think that you are like Spanish inquisition but now defending the True Christianity ( not papism, the false Christianity ). Wouldn't it be sin if you didn't try by any means to make him accept the only True Religion?

YiC, M

[James Hutchins]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

Sounds like you know this from experiencing it yourself. Is it hot in hell? Oh wait it doesn't exist. God doesn't have a right hand because god doesn't exist.

Oh yeah I forgot God chooses favorite churches.

Well! You certainly told us! What incredible logic. Backed up with irefuttable fact.
Son, just because you like to chew on rocks does not mean they are chock full of delicious minerals.

Snow day from pre-school?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

I'm with my Prayer Warrior SWAT Team, and we're enroute to Brother Hutchin's estate to address this demon issue with our poor (former) Brother Heathen Basher. We'll get him sorted out properly once and for all. By which I mean, either he'll rejoin our flock this Sunday, or else no one will ever hear from him again.

One or the other.

[Harold Law]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

The inside of my mailbox is now soiled with "Watchtower Magazines" are there any cleaning services available in Landover? I'd prefer not to make physical contact with such hogwash!

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

That;s pretty much what you all are already doing, so pat youself on the back for that one

I'm certainly not trying to confuse last ditch attempts to save my former dearest brother from Hell. What a terrible thing to say.

[Silver Philosopher]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

Well, you finally saved yourself Heathen_Basher.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

Well, you finally saved yourself Heathen_Basher.

What a horrible thing to say. He's going to Hell to be tortured for ever. How is that being saved.

Haters like you make me sick, madam. This is someone's soul we are talking about

Shame on you.

YIC

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

Do we know if the Professor has completed the diagnosis of poor Heathen Basher? I'm praying every minute that his rectum can be salvaged from the trauma of fagging, and that his distal colon is not hopelessly impacted with filthy gay seed

And that he has begun to realize how he made Jesus weep when he made the choice to be a predatory corn-holer. I know all the Ex-Gays (myself included) are available at a moment's notice to help him escape the queerness.

Please update the congregation at your earliest convenience.

In Christ

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

I'm only sorry that I'm stuck over here in Godless UK so I cannot use my psychotheological analyst therapy skills on his young naive person.

No doubt the Jobos want to rape (anally) him until they are spent and I would want to get there first.

YIC

[Bob4God]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

Once Heathen Basher returns to Freehold, how do we know he isn't going to lapse back into his colon fetish?

I think it would be a good idea to have a couple of strong men posted at his home to make sure that he doesn't give way to the temptation to satiate somebody's "Watch Tower," if you get my drift.

I'm available over the next few days, just in case.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

I am sorry I have not updated the congregation on the state of our prodigal brother, but I was quite busy with Brother Basher's treatment. First, the good news. He will need neither aversion surgery, lobotomization, nor shock treatment. His physical health is excellent, so he will not need either a rectumectomy or rectal reconstructive surgery. I examined his genitals and lower gastrointestinal tract extremely thoroughly, spending the better part of two hours palpating his youthful prostate alone.

During the intensive interrogation that followed the exhausting physical examination, he eventually confessed that he mostly indulged in oral sodomy and analingus in his filthy encounters with those degenerate cultists. And luckily, the few queers that did violate his anus were not overly endowed and, due to the fitness of his young colon, were brought to climax quite rapidly, which limited the rectal tearing so commonly encountered by practicing homosexuals.

And now the bad news. In my professional opinion, he will need extensive Ex-Gay© treatment, including Ludovico Aversion Therapy, temporary chemical castration, and possibly some minor inpatient trepanning. I will personally oversee his entire therapy, as I am quite excited to be intimately involved in Brother Basher's potential resalvation.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

I am sorry I have not updated the congregation on the state of our prodigal brother, but I was quite busy with Brother Basher's treatment. First, the good news. He will need neither aversion surgery, lobotomization, nor shock treatment. His physical health is excellent, so he will not need either a rectumectomy or rectal reconstructive surgery. I examined his genitals and lower gastrointestinal tract extremely thoroughly, spending the better part of two hours palpating his youthful prostate alone.

During the intensive interrogation that followed the exhausting physical examination, he eventually confessed that he mostly indulged in oral sodomy and analingus in his filthy encounters with those degenerate cultists. And luckily, the few queers that did violate his anus were not overly endowed and, due to the fitness of his young colon, were brought to climax quite rapidly, which limited the rectal tearing so commonly encountered by practicing homosexuals.

And now the bad news. In my professional opinion, he will need extensive Ex-Gay© treatment, including Ludovico Aversion Therapy, temporary chemical castration, and possibly some minor inpatient trepanning. I will personally oversee his entire therapy, as I am quite excited to be intimately involved in Brother Basher's potential resalvation.

Bless you, Brother Professor! May the LORD touch Brother Basher, deeply and intimately, through your hands.

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

This man really thought he could escape Landover! Why even try to do something that no one else has managed to before?

[Rev. Edward Clement]

Re: I'm leaving this sick cult forever!

This man really thought he could escape Landover! Why even try to do something that no one else has managed to before?

Amen Brother! Landover Security is full of well-trained cattle ropers and hog-tiers who are trained for such circumstances, which is why no one is able to escape the Loving, Tugging Pull of Jesus. That, and our High-Security Ex-Gay© Treament Facility® is unable to be penetrated from the out-side, JW, anal infiltrators who would seek to thwart the advancement of the Love of Jesus™ makes the ominous Long Treatment Process sure to see full fruition(although, it will be rather intense as the Lord commands: (Jonah 2: 8).

(Jonah 1: 1-17) (Jonah 2: 1-10)