[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Now THAT is a poem I can understand.

Another from the same period:
Heathens - Waste their lives
Heathens - Make Jesus cry
Heathens - Listen to the Hives
Heathens - They must all die.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Another from the same period:
Heathens - Waste their lives
Heathens - Make Jesus cry
Heathens - Listen to the Hives
Heathens - They must all die.

PREACH IT BROTHER T!!!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

PREACH IT BROTHER T!!!

My final poetical offering for the day is a poem written by the CATLICK Archbishop Saric of Sarajevo, written in 1941 in praise of the local fascist dictator, Pavelic:
Against the greedy Jews with all their money,
who wanted to sell our souls,
betray our names
those miserable ones.

You are the rock on which rests
homeland and freedom in one
Protect our lives from hell,
from Marxism and Bolshevism.

For Mary-worshipper writing, it's not bad at all.

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Another from the same period:

Those were the days. I even wrote one myself:

From Europe to our Yankee friends:
Hail to the fight that never ends.
We'll fight the evil axis powers;
We'll kill their gods and give them ours.
We'll fight for red and white and blue
For you and you and W.

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Excellent! All!


A challenge:

Someone Scriptural,
please select and paste to this thread
some beautifully wrathful passage from the Old Testament.

And from this text, we Poets shall, each one,
make her or his poem in homage of the text,
in whatever Godly form may be inspired as best.

We shall criticize these poems on technical (Godly) points.

All who attempt to meet this poetasty challenge shall succeed!

Or go to... pot!
(please pardon the bad word)

Cheers from
Peter
author of that children's classic,
"Brownie Mousie"

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Psalm 58

1Do ye indeed speak righteousness, O congregation? do ye judge uprightly, O ye sons of men?
2Yea, in heart ye work wickedness; ye weigh the violence of your hands in the earth.
3The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.
4Their poison is like the poison of a serpent: they are like the deaf adder that stoppeth her ear;
5Which will not hearken to the voice of charmers, charming never so wisely.
6Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth: break out the great teeth of the young lions, O LORD.
7Let them melt away as waters which run continually: when he bendeth his bow to shoot his arrows, let them be as cut in pieces.
8As a snail which melteth, let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun.
9Before your pots can feel the thorns, he shall take them away as with a whirlwind, both living, and in his wrath.
10The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.
11So that a man shall say, Verily there is a reward for the righteous: verily he is a God that judgeth in the earth.

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Fine!

OK, Poets, just so you know, you may reline this already-perfect poetry above,

or you may condense, or emplace alternate metaphor; as to "update" (as if -that- were needed).

Fifty Godly Points for the best haiku version.
Negative fifty points for the worst Limerick form.

Ballad form is suggested for those Poets in Love with this Word.

Or, simple narrative form--that's allowed.

Neatness counts toward your soul's chances,
along with snowballs in hell if you "f" fup.

Peter
prefect

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

I KNEW I recognized that horrid jap haiku in your work!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

My love for you is like diarrhea




I just can't hold it in

A poem of Love, by Sister Thumper

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

No haiku in my work; no squint here.
It was encouragement for the Limey at

"Greetings, poetical Christianicles!"

<snip>

Although I hate all
Japs, I still find haikus to
Be somewhat pleasing.

<snap>

Not a bad quasi-verse in itself; nearly epigrammatic,
I daresay, haw haw



Peter
haw-haw ing
like a lord

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

No haiku in my work; no squint here.
It was encouragement for the Limey at

"Greetings, poetical Christianicles!"



Not a bad quasi-verse in itself; nearly epigrammatic,
I daresay, haw haw



Peter
haw-haw ing
like a lord

Obviously a Brit. No one else would understand that reference.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Psalm 58

1Do ye indeed speak righteousness, O congregation? do ye judge uprightly, O ye sons of men?
2Yea, in heart ye work wickedness; ye weigh the violence of your hands in the earth.
3The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.
4Their poison is like the poison of a serpent: they are like the deaf adder that stoppeth her ear;
5Which will not hearken to the voice of charmers, charming never so wisely.
6Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth: break out the great teeth of the young lions, O LORD.
7Let them melt away as waters which run continually: when he bendeth his bow to shoot his arrows, let them be as cut in pieces.
8As a snail which melteth, let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun.
9Before your pots can feel the thorns, he shall take them away as with a whirlwind, both living, and in his wrath.
10The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.
11So that a man shall say, Verily there is a reward for the righteous: verily he is a God that judgeth in the earth.

Hmmm...
Break their teeth O LORD, break their teeth O LORD, before your pots can feel the thorns, break their teeth O LORD.
Melt their snails O LORD, melt their snails O LORD, before your pots can feel the thorns, melt their snails and melt their snails and break their teeth O LORD.
Cut their bows O LORD, cut their bows O LORD, before your pots can feel the thorns, cut their bows and melt their snails and break their teeth O LORD.
Wash our feet in their blood and weigh the violence of their hands and estrange their souls from the wombs before your pots can feel the thorns, and BREAK THEIR TEETH O LORD!

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Amazingly good. I've very little to criticize of your adaptation.
Admirable restraint. Great rhythms going on in there.
Line breaks--might do with some rethought.

Would cherish an audio reading.
Poetry is most definitely an oral tradition.
(no Oral Roberts jokes please).

I've yet to start my poem.
Having read yours, I'll admit to being cowed!
Your poem is so good, that if mine isn't,
it'll look awful sucky by comparison.

In meditation,


Peter

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

My love for you is like diarrhea




I just can't hold it in

A poem of Love, by Sister Thumper

Great poetry (and humor poetry is eligible) begins with a concept.
Sister, you have a concept worthy of a Caroll. If you happen to
be twelve? You'd be worthy to Mr. Caroll.

Line breaks:
avoid similes, "like", in particular
(exceptions can be made, bend over
flexible rules)

But for such a short--such a bon mot, "like" is pedestrian.
Consider too, that diarrhea is prosaic.
Roll the sound of diarrehea and then savor a more beautiful word:
dysentary. This might be the better way to work up the poem.

Look for sonics, look for graces. Dyssennntarrryyyy.

That's a musical word! Not only that, it has great connotations
as an illness annihilating millions of third-word mudders every year!.

Verrrry crude idea for you to consider,
it's just perspective. But your poem is too good a concept
to just let it go without revision.

Something along this line--sketched roughly, mind you:

Love, you are a dysentary
I drink salted fluids to restore
electrolytes to balance
when your surges bring on purges.



Thank you for standing at the Korner.
Many are they who do admire you.


Petter

[Poetic Peter]

Re: The Poetasters' Korner

Psalm 58

1Do ye indeed speak righteousness, O congregation? do ye judge uprightly, O ye sons of men?
2Yea, in heart ye work wickedness; ye weigh the violence of your hands in the earth.
3The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.
4Their poison is like the poison of a serpent: they are like the deaf adder that stoppeth her ear;
5Which will not hearken to the voice of charmers, charming never so wisely.
6Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth: break out the great teeth of the young lions, O LORD.
7Let them melt away as waters which run continually: when he bendeth his bow to shoot his arrows, let them be as cut in pieces.
8As a snail which melteth, let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun.
9Before your pots can feel the thorns, he shall take them away as with a whirlwind, both living, and in his wrath.
10The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.
11So that a man shall say, Verily there is a reward for the righteous: verily he is a God that judgeth in the earth.

Just a tad; mine is bad.
Wishing for a cyclone
to drop a House of God upon it:


_________________________


1 Do you speak of truths terrific?
Do you judge your fellow mystics?
O wicked sons of men.

Your hearts are pebbles in a rabble;
you'd create another cabal,

if you only had some brains.


2 The wicked wander wombless,
homeless souls--tend to go roomless,
then they bugger off astray,

snaking lies as hip-hop adders;
as if tar patter really matters.
(sigh)
If they only had some brains.


3 Who will heed the songs of charmers ?
those unwise ones, the disarmers:
demoncrats of present days.

Break their teeth with heavy mallets.
Laze some lions beneath their pallets.

Lions like a little brain.


__________________



gnash, grinnnd
(my gears just stripped)


Peter

pawls
and ratchets Mary