Lauren Boebert knows how to raise her children right. When her son, Kaydon Boebert made an appointment at Branding Iron Tattoo Company in Rifle, Colorado, yesterday to get his penis tattooed like his Dad, Jayson, Kaydon acted responsibly and was determined to keep his appointment ON TIME -- come "Hell" or high water. Kaydon grabbed the family dune buggy, filled it with his buddies and went screaming down the neighborhood and county roads towards Rifle. Sadly, there's been a disagreeable influx of hippies and homers on the Western Slope of Colorado, where Lauren and her family live, and some of those "different" ones almost immediately called the sheriff in terror over Kaydon's recklessness in just pulling the dune buggy out from the Boebert driveway, let alone filling it with his "posse" of rifle-toting dropouts, like himself, from Coal Ridge High School. An official police report was filed -- which the demon-possessed Denver Post published, but Jayson Boebert was able to wield the authority of his wife's position, and no charges were filed against Kaydon -- Praise God! However, the reports are unclear as to whether Kaydon was able to keep his tattoo appointment.
Meanwhile -- NEWS UPDATE! -- Christopher Nikkel, the freedom-loving son of Colorado Representative BJ Nikkel of Larimer County, Colorado -- has reportedly reached out to Kaydon and shared the good news of our beloved Savior (and of his Mom's-- BJ's -- elected office) to make Kaydon's whole "disturbance" situation go away. "hell," Christopher Nikkel is reported to have said, "If Mom can make that Russian Roulette thing in the basement with David Rusho go away, a little speeding ticket in Garfield County is nothing." The still-grieving Rusho family could not be reached for comment.
Meanwhile -- NEWS UPDATE! -- Christopher Nikkel, the freedom-loving son of Colorado Representative BJ Nikkel of Larimer County, Colorado -- has reportedly reached out to Kaydon and shared the good news of our beloved Savior (and of his Mom's-- BJ's -- elected office) to make Kaydon's whole "disturbance" situation go away. "hell," Christopher Nikkel is reported to have said, "If Mom can make that Russian Roulette thing in the basement with David Rusho go away, a little speeding ticket in Garfield County is nothing." The still-grieving Rusho family could not be reached for comment.
Comment