[Elmer G. White]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

Brother Elmer,

Obviously, harlots like Britney Spears, Cher, Madonna, and Katy Perry won't be joining us in the celestial sphere of a Heavenly eternity. Is it safe to assume that some of the events mentioned in the brochure will take place at one of their concerts? I should think the LORD GOD would take great pleasure at sending a few million locusts while Madonna sings "Like a Prayer," or some brimstone during Britney's "Hit me Baby One More Time." If you think this is a possibility, will there be a schedule somewhere in Heaven? Those are things I would love to watch while Jesus feeds me hot dogs and nachos.

Hmm...will there be nachos in Heaven - since they're Messican?

COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry

Verily, Brother, these are extremely important questions that will affect our comfort in Heaven and determine how much we'll enjoy ourselves over there (very soon)! Regarding the best outlook spots to see pagan or secular concerts of fornicatory music, please subscribe to our Celestial Server immediately once in Heaven.

The question about the foods available is more easy to answer here on Earth. We know that God will wipe our tears and Jesus will feed us but what exactly is He going to delight us with? Let us look more closely at the Only principal Source of Wisdom!

Revelation 21:4
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

As you can see, our Rapture Preparation Committee is hard at work until the last moment so we included also some of the nicest accessories that will be yours very very soon!

Let us continue praying for Jesus to come quickly so that we can enjoy all this at our earliest convenience!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[BrotherLarry]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

Brother Elmer,


Obviously, harlots like Britney Spears, Cher, Madonna, and Katy Perry won't be joining us in the celestial sphere of a Heavenly eternity. Is it safe to assume that some of the events mentioned in the brochure will take place at one of their concerts? I should think the LORD GOD would take great pleasure at sending a few million locusts while Madonna sings "Like a Prayer," or some brimstone during Britney's "Hit me Baby One More Time." If you think this is a possibility, will there be a schedule somewhere in Heaven? Those are things I would love to watch while Jesus feeds me hot dogs and nachos.


Hmm...will there be nachos in Heaven - since they're Messican?


COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

Sinners! This one is for you!

Many of you are not convinced by Rational, Biblical arguments! The All and Total and Nothing But The Truth™ of the last pages of the Bible is often ignored by you.

So, please, here's a piece of music for you that depicts both in tune and visual images your eventual sad fate if you choose the Anti-Christ! You can see how this Earth that you falsely consider to be beautiful will be consumed by the torturous Flames of the Irate Jesus (you'll see Him in the video)! It shows the horses that will bring to you Deception and Destruction.

Revelation 9:16
And the number of the army of the horsemen were two hundred thousand thousand: and I heard the number of them.

Admittedly, the composer, Mr. Wagner was (as far as anyone knows) NOT a True Christian™, so you'll meet him in the Bottomless Pit unless you choose Jesus!

John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Des]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

The reviews are already starting to pour in. 'Salvation' Saul Cunningham of the New Bethlehem Times wrote "LBC's Manual for Rapture and Beyond is the most important writing of the twenty first century."

Herman Feist of Stormfront wrote "While not as touching as Mein Kampf nor as inspiring as The Turner Diaries, Manual for Rapture and Beyond still delivers a glimmer of hope that we will live to see the filthy vermin that ruined this once great nation get whats coming to them. Gott mit uns."

Brandon Weaver of the Kirk Cameron Fan Club Newsletter wrote "Grate stuff from Lambedover Baptist Church. They releazed a phamphlet called The Manuel for the Raptor ans Beyond complete with stunning graficks. I havent red it yet, but word has it Kirk did [Sic]."

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

***IMPORTANT NOTICE***
Rapture Manual® is now also available as a pdf download on the Landover Baptist Church Homepage!

Hebrews 5:12
For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Des]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

Content removed due to incoherence from jetlag.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

1 Peter 2:9
But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:

This concludes the first edition of the Landover Baptist Church Rapture Manual©. May Jesus come quickly and let us witness all the wonders promised by Him!

Revelation 22:21
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

Psalms 97:12
Rejoice in the LORD, ye righteous; and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness.

Psalms 102:12
But thou, O LORD, shalt endure for ever; and thy remembrance unto all generations.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

Hebrews 10:32
But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions;

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

Revelation 22:15

Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.

That means US! We are those chosen by Jesus to Live with Him all Eternity! Thank you, Jesus!

By this time we will all be very tired. It's been an exhausting 1007 years: So much to see, so many terrific things to watch and follow. It's time to take a break and start the Good Life in Heaven. This book will last FOR EVER in the healthy climate of Heaven (Matthew 6:20). Check out the appendices after the next page. You've probably have been filling them out to remember all the Great Stuff you saw during the Rapture, the Tribulations, and the Trial.

See you in, let's say, one trillion years!

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

Revelation 20:3
And cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal upon him, that he should deceive the nations no more, till the thousand years should be fulfilled: and after that he must be loosed a little season.



Revelation 20:14-15
And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.



Revelation 21:1
And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

Revelation 19:2
For true and righteous are his judgments: for he hath judged the great whore, which did corrupt the earth with her fornication, and hath avenged the blood of his servants at her hand.



Revelation 19:7
Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.



Revelation 19:21
And the remnant were slain with the sword of him that sat upon the horse, which sword proceeded out of his mouth: and all the fowls were filled with their flesh.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

OK.

Things will be bad.

Almost all mankind has been killed in Jesus's Tribulations. They deserved it! It is done and Jesus did His best. He really, really tried to make the sinners understand that He wanted them to Repent and eventually feel the all-encompassing Love of Jesus (John 3:16). Mostly, the sinners still chose the Anti-Christ and their future is thus now determined (John 3:18). Obviously, we'll be safe in Heaven but this will still be nerve-wrecking! The Anti-Christ is ready for war and the few dozen left-behind sinners who've actually repented are no match for him. We'll be biting our nails and shivering in the cool breezes of Heaven. It's so exciting. Is there any hope left? Is there?



There is a chance and it is something that the Anti-Christ and our left-behind atheist and false Christian relatives and enemies still fail to grasp. Now the verse written two millennia ago comes into fruition!

John 1:5
And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

We'll be back soon with the BEST UPDATE EVER!
Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

Revelation 17:3
So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The Landover Baptist Manual for Rapture and Beyond: The Time Has Come!

Revelation 16:10-11
And the fifth angel poured out his vial upon the seat of the beast; and his kingdom was full of darkness; and they gnawed their tongues for pain, And blasphemed the God of heaven because of their pains and their sores, and repented not of their deeds.


Revelation 16:14
For they are the spirits of devils, working miracles, which go forth unto the kings of the earth and of the whole world, to gather them to the battle of that great day of God Almighty.



Revelation 16:17
And the seventh angel poured out his vial into the air; and there came a great voice out of the temple of heaven, from the throne, saying, It is done.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer