Rumor! Some of the Pastors have been detained...

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

I'm not mentioning any names but anyone who's been a regular at Church will have noticed certain Pastors have not been present for a few months now. Well, and I know I shouldn't say this, but rumor has it the Spreading Our Souls™ mission to Central America was raided by local authorities and many True Christians and Pastors... not mentioning names... will not be coming back to Landover for at least 25 years. If anyone knows any specifics, gory details, photographs, blood spatter analyses - please, think of the children. Don't share.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Rumor! Some of the Pastors have been detained...

I'm getting a lot of PMs about this, as you can imagine. A lot of them are asking if Pastor Zeke is involved. It's a delicate matter so I want to clear it up once and for all. Pastor Zeke <explosive illegal revelations auto-deleted for your protection by JesOS>.

[Roland]

Re: Rumor! Some of the Pastors have been detained...

I'm getting a lot of PMs about this, as you can imagine. A lot of them are asking if Pastor Zeke is involved. It's a delicate matter so I want to clear it up once and for all. Pastor Zeke <explosive illegal revelations auto-deleted for your protection by JesOS>.

<explosive illegal revelations auto-deleted for your protection by JesOS>

It may be dark times again. By the way, what did happen to Miss Cookie? Did Niles get her out?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Rumor! Some of the Pastors have been detained...

Sir, it says you are a Delusional Forum Member, Obese Swedish Meatball. I doubt anyone believes your fanciful stories.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Rumor! Some of the Pastors have been detained...

As many will recall, I made a dynamic impression on Central America when I held my No Mo Ho Mo crusade a few years ago. I still have contacts there of course. Here is the story I was told:

[WWJDnow]

Re: Rumor! Some of the Pastors have been detained...

Several of our pastors have gone abroad on long-term missions over the last few years. Coincidentally, this started around the time of the IRS investigation of the Church's finances.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Rumor! Some of the Pastors have been detained...

There are members of LBC who are unaware of how our Pastors' mission trips are financed. They are financed by merchandise (also called U.S. dollars) that is sold in the country being saved and by merchandise loaded on the plane there and sold back here. I will not elaborate on the latter.

I would not be surprised if there was some questioning of our staff and delays. They go equipped to handle such problems and no doubt will be home soon. That said, prayers are always helpful.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Rumor! Some of the Pastors have been detained...

There are members of LBC who are unaware of how our Pastors' mission trips are financed. They are financed by merchandise (also called U.S. dollars) that is sold in the country being saved and by merchandise loaded on the plane there and sold back here. I will not elaborate on the latter.

I know, from my close proximity to power, financing the Church's missions is one of the highest priorities of leadership. The sudden onset of financial problems coinciding with the collapse of the Russian economy is unfortunate optics, but nothing deeper no doubt.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Rumor! Some of the Pastors have been detained...

Micro economies are minute per individual unit but where Christ's Parables are unknown, leverage is impossible. Even at 1¢ per unit, let's imagine India and China respond to His voice, right there it's $27,652,422.88 and more than sufficient to address the concerns of OP.