If you're not putting white cheese in your hot chocolate, what are you doing?

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

I'm not sure if I shared with you good folks before, my family's industrial roots were grounded in the art of cheese making, my grand pappy had a business, Frottage Cheese. Sweet Jesus, our cheese was delicious, as francophones are generally renowned for. So rich and gooey, and I discovered, goes divine in hot cocoa, especially in this frosty weather. I love dripping melted camembert into my chocolatey drink before I pop off on my daily Amazon route. Would make an excellent drink for eventual Arctic cruises to the soon-to-be US State of Greenland, and keep those fires in the belly up, and nourish that cheesy feeling deep in the recesses of the Christian soul.

^{Job 10:10} Hast thou not poured me out as milk, and curdled me like cheese?

[Johny Joe Hold]

I'm not sure if I shared with you good folks before, my family's industrial roots were grounded in the art of cheese making, my grand pappy had a business, Frottage Cheese. Sweet Jesus, our cheese was delicious, as francophones are generally renowned for. So rich and gooey, and I discovered, goes divine in hot cocoa, especially in this frosty weather. I love dripping melted camembert into my chocolatey drink before I pop off on my daily Amazon route. Would make an excellent drink for eventual Arctic cruises to the soon-to-be US State of Greenland, and keep those fires in the belly up, and nourish that cheesy feeling deep in the recesses of the Christian soul.
^{Job 10:10} Hast thou not poured me out as milk, and curdled me like cheese?

I hope you are selling a lot of Bibles there at Amazon, Mr. Frottage. I see there is a large print on sale for $17 US. Bibles should not be on sale. We should pay full price for God's Word.

ESV Church Bible, Large Print (Hardcover, Blue): Holy Bible, English Standard Version: ESV Bibles: 9798874900090: Amazon.com: Books

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

I see the number 9,798,874,900,090$ is that the Landover-Baptizon value? (Also, I'm kind of looking for new work, is your Christian outlet hiring?)

[Basilissa]

Camambert in chocolate? Ewwww! I think there's something wrong with your head, I hope it isn't a permanent brain damage from cold weather.

I will pray for the improvement of your culinary tastes.

The only things that go into my hot chocolate are pure cocoa paste (not any of the processed powdered abominations), some brown sugar, some milk, and if I want to be really fancy, a dash of cinnamon, a drop of vanilla extract, and maybe a small splash of Kahlua. That in front of a fireplace, that's my definition of proper winter behavior.

[Johny Joe Hold]

I see the number 9,798,874,900,090$ is that the Landover-Baptizon value? (Also, I'm kind of looking for new work, is your Christian outlet hiring?)

Nine trillion dollars for the souls of Landover Baptist? That sounds like a scheme Satan would come up with. God warned us in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Satan would try this--the answer is NO.

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

Mr. Hold, respectfully, that is a really nice bowtie. I wear one on my daily Amazon route, and I'd like to know where you got yours. I've seen ones like your at a blackface Minstrel show once.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Mr. Hold, respectfully, that is a really nice bowtie. I wear one on my daily Amazon route, and I'd like to know where you got yours. I've seen ones like your at a blackface Minstrel show once.

Thank you, Mr. Frottage. My tie and entire ensemble was made for me. After several years of pleading, Pastor Zeke gave me the name of his tailor. Overseas of course.

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

I will pray for the improvement of your culinary tastes.

Strange! Sorry you don't appreciate the salty savouriness that is the fromage in the chocolate. My family, we gather around the chocolate fondue fountain with aged cheddar cheese cubes on sticks, prepared by dear Grand-mère Gooner on my mother's side.

[Basilissa]

Sweetie, chocolate is not meant to be salty. Those who produce such abominations as salted caramel chocolate are surely destined to Hell for wasting a perfectly good chocolate.

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

No, no caramel in this family! Though yes, saltiness is a staple quality in the Frottage family. Grand-mère Gooner crushes the cocoa herself asunder her callused bare feet and gives our chocolate that signature salty ting. She also makes the cheese ala mode in her wrinkly folds! Everything prepared in house organically.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Ponce, don't think the LBC Safety, Morality and Ethical Godliness for Men and Animals committee isn't monitoring your crude wordplay. Cheese is hardly mentioned in the Bible at all (I will not comment on the blasphemous "Cheese Bible"), but I would invite you to reflect on the fate of Lot's wife who was turned into a pillar of salt over compliance issues (Genesis 19:26).

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

I would invite you to reflect on the fate of Lot's wife who was turned into a pillar of salt over compliance issues (Genesis 19:26).

Well she was a woman, what can you expect, Doctor?

[Basilissa]

No, no caramel in this family! Though yes, saltiness is a staple quality in the Frottage family. Grand-mère Gooner crushes the cocoa herself asunder her callused bare feet and gives our chocolate that signature salty ting. She also makes the cheese ala mode in her wrinkly folds! Everything prepared in house organically.

Note to self: never visit you and never accept anything that seems edible as a gift from you.

I will pray for you nonetheless. There is always a chance that Jesus decides to heal your taste buds and maybe even give you a brain to think with.

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

I'm sorry to hear that. I was hoping to send a Hamazon care package of fine charcuteries and cheeses so you may sample the unusual and aromatic delights of authentic Quebecois cuisine.

[Cranky Old Man]

Chocolate? Gay! Cheese? Gay! Charcuteries? Gay!

Buy a gun and kill your food like a proper Christian American.

It's what God commands: Genesis 9:3 "Everything that lives and moves about will be food for you."