Dealing with pesky choo-choo obsessed neighbour

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: I have no sword

Your post reminded me of those pneumatic tube "cash carrier" systems used in department stores. Some of them were quite complex! Earlier though there was a spring loaded overhead contraption, the greater the distance to the office the stronger the spring-launched catapult needed to be. I'm sorry, but this was the best I could find at short notice.

In your situation I'm sure it's ideal for delivering texts and looks easy to install between your two locations.

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

Friends, the saga continues. That brazen whore had the nerve to raid my porch! She took my coat, and my ashtray, and zippo, and I'm sure she's going to do unholy things with it, surrounded by incense and tally whacker candles. I would show you my 8-bit photos of the attack, but I am out of bandwidth and my Amazon wages can't afford more!
Ezekiel 23:7-10
7 Thus she committed her whoredoms with them, with all them that were the chosen men of Assyria, and with all on whom she doted: with all their idols she defiled herself.
8 Neither left she her whoredoms brought from Egypt: for in her youth they lay with her, and they bruised the breasts of her virginity, and poured their whoredom upon her.
9 Wherefore I have delivered her into the hand of her lovers, into the hand of the Assyrians*, upon whom she doted.
10 These discovered her nakedness: they took her sons and her daughters, and slew her with the sword: and she became famous among women; for they had executed judgment upon her.

This chapter came to mind. I have no sword, per say, I had an uber cool katana my Japanese ex gave me for my birthday.

[MitzaLizalor]

Perhaps your device is due an update? But aside from that, when witnessing it is so important to cite Scripture, otherwise people (and especially heathens) get in their heads that crackpot ideas dreamed up on one's own are being presented. And that is not so. If concepts naturally occurring were sufficient for Salvation, there'd be no need for God to explain anything.

These are His ideas and the applicable explanation is found in the Psalms, fleshed out some more in Jeremiah.

Psalm 106:39 Thus were they defiled with their own works, and went a whoring with their own inventions.

Jeremiah 2:24 A wild ass used to the wilderness, that snuffeth up the wind at her pleasure; in her occasion who can turn her away? all they that seek her will not weary themselves; in her month they shall find her.

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

I tried to courteously confront Miss Jocks on her wayward path. She was wearing a bathrobe, and not much else. Nothing else. She ran around in the cold, up and down the whole block screaming, "I love {you know what}! When I die, I will be mounted on a giant {you know what} forever, fornicating"

I don't know what to do to convince her Satan's lair awaits, and Mr. Hold, I think you're advice is sound. I need to get higher authority involved, and take photographs.

[Johny Joe Hold]

I would advise this. Watch the window and note what you see. Then call the most fire-breathing Baptist preacher you know the set her straight. I understand Pastor Zeke does not do house calls because they don't cash flow. There are others out there.

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

Hello Landover friends, I write to you in earnest over concern over my troublesome neighbour, Jillian Jocks, and her temple of...something deeply unmentionable. It's clear to me she worships the <obscene reference removed by moderator>, and has created an altar of <obscene reference removed by moderator> shaped idols and melting candles that coat every window of her flat. This is extremely awkward, I feel I can no longer keep my mouth shut on the matter. Something has to be done about this perverse idol worshipper. I tried to bargain with her from my place across, and she rudely tossed a smelly, presumably used <obscene reference removed by moderator> at me. I caught this moment on my phone seconds before she chucked that unholy toy at my face.



I turned to prayer.

Holy spirit, O Mighty God. Please deliver me from this wanton beast, Miss Jillian Jocks, enter her unholy <obscene reference removed by moderator> and purify her spirit that she may turn from idol ways, and submit to you Lord Jesus Christ, turn her over to God, may she replace those nasty things with Biblically sound bric-a-brac, Yours Truly Quincy P Frottage, Amen!