Is My Cat A Homer?

[Madison007]

I have two male cats, both of which have been neutered so they shouldn't be doing that thing where they mount each other to try and fight over dominance. They're names are Jingle and Red. Two weeks ago, I noticed that Jingle has been mounting Red seductively and going through with what appears to be rape. It happens constantly, at least every other day. I love my kitties but I don't want to have to stone them. Any advice? What would Christ do?

[Nobar King]

Re: Is My Cat A Homer?

Jingle has been mounting Red seductively

Did he at least offer to take him out to dinner, first?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Is My Cat A Homer?

I have two male cats, both of which have been neutered so they shouldn't be doing that thing where they mount each other to try and fight over dominance. They're names are Jingle and Red. Two weeks ago, I noticed that Jingle has been mounting Red seductively and going through with what appears to be rape. It happens constantly, at least every other day. I love my kitties but I don't want to have to stone them. Any advice? What would Christ do?

Christ would cast the demons out of them and have them jump into the sea like He did that herd of pigs.

Matthew 8:31 So the devils besought him, saying, If thou cast us out, suffer us to go away into the herd of swine.
8:32 And he said unto them, Go. And when they were come out, they went into the herd of swine: and, behold, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a steep place into the sea, and perished in the waters.

Of course Jesus got kicked out of town for that particular miracle, so maybe not...

Matthew 8:33 And they that kept them fled, and went their ways into the city, and told every thing, and what was befallen to the possessed of the devils.
8:34 And, behold, the whole city came out to meet Jesus: and when they saw him, they besought him that he would depart out of their coasts.

[Jessie56]

Re: Is My Cat A Homer?

It is obvious that you should get rid of the two cats immediately, before their homosexuality rubs off on your family.

[Madison007]

Re: Is My Cat A Homer?

It is obvious that you should get rid of the two cats immediately, before their homosexuality rubs off on your family.

But my main question is, should they be stoned or should I just leave them in the streets far from my household?

[Jessie56]

Re: Is My Cat A Homer?

But my main question is, should they be stoned or should I just leave them in the streets far from my household?

Burn them both, in a field far away from your home. The neighbors might not understand that you are on a mission from God to cleanse your home of those abominations.

[Felicity]

Re: Is My Cat A Homer?

@Jessie56 Welcome! I hope we can be friends!

Since you are new here please look at our please read this before posting and our your rights on this forum threads! If you already did that, just do it again. There you can learn that this forum is not about debating or unsaved opinions but about praising Jesus!

If you didn't do that yet, it would be great if you could make a thread of your own in the introductions section of the forum! That way everyone here can meet you and see how much you love Jesus!

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Is My Cat A Homer?

Why do you have two male cats? Why not a male and a female as Noah did. Even if they are neutered, it's not as bad as two males going at it.

I suggest stoning, every time he tries to mount the other, throw a rock. Or you could try a bottle filled with holy water that will stop him from this evil behaviour. You could also talk to Petal, she's our resident cat expert, about baptism for kitties.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Is My Cat A Homer?

But my main question is, should they be stoned or should I just leave them in the streets far from my household?

I learned from Petal that it's best to babtize them until they are cured.

[Madison007]

Re: Is My Cat A Homer?

Why do you have two male cats? Why not a male and a female as Noah did. Even if they are neutered, it's not as bad as two males going at it.

I suggest stoning, every time he tries to mount the other, throw a rock. Or you could try a bottle filled with holy water that will stop him from this evil behaviour. You could also talk to Petal, she's our resident cat expert, about baptism for kitties.

That's a good idea! I'll follow in Noah's example and get two new cats after I dispose of my current ones. Thank you to everyone for your advice.

[Petal]

Re: Is My Cat A Homer?

I'll follow in Noah's example and get two new cats after I dispose of my current ones.

whens you get your noo kittys, you needs to pre-baptize the homer demons out of the kittys. but all kittys be borned wiv a spirit of licenntiousniss, an you needs rebukes that spirt! in this here pickture, the kitty be givings a 'come-hithers' look, it be makin bad kitty lurve to the camera, an it just not rite

an if you gets a kitty who start to lickety-lick-lick-lick itselfs all the times, it be a lesbean kitty, even if it be a boy kitty. so you needs to watch for that to.

lesbean kitty pickture



.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Is My Cat A Homer?

...you could try a bottle filled with holy water that will stop him from this evil behaviour.

And just where does a Landrover Baptist get 'Holy Water'?

Does Pastor Zeke bless it before or after he 'Baptizes' each new victim to your cult or does he just scoop some out of his crumpet's bidet and say...



"In Nomine Patris Et Filii Et Spiritus Sancti"?




Please... Holy Water brings many blessings and is a fundamental part of Catholic worship. We don't waste something precious like that on randy felines nor do we sell it to cults like yours to do odd things with.





Bless you, my misinformed mooreeffoc,
Father Mo




.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Is My Cat A Homer?

And just where does a Landrover Baptist get 'Holy Water'?

Does Pastor Zeke bless it before or after he 'Baptizes' each new victim to your cult or does he just scoop some out of his crumpet's bidet and say...



"In Nomine Patris Et Filii Et Spiritus Sancti"?




Please... Holy Water brings many blessings and is a fundamental part of Catholic worship. We don't waste something precious like that on randy felines nor do we sell it to cults like yours to do odd things with.





Bless you, my misinformed mooreeffoc,
Father Mo




.

Get off my back, I'm not a young boy.

I was properly rebuked by the Pastor for even mentioning the use of holy water. Not even sure why I mentioned it other than I found that squirting a cat with water while rebuking it in the name of God ("for the love of God STOP LICKING YOURSELF!) seems to work.