I Must Confess....

[Angelique]

For the last several days, my fiance has been sending me emails, telling me that I turn him on and give him a (and I quote this derictly from the email) ″major boner″. I feel guilty, and I don't know what to do. Advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

[Nobar King]

Re: I Must Confess....

Disconnect your email right away. You don't want to leave a permanent trail of pornographic bedroom-chat on the internets, do you?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I Must Confess....

Is he in the military? Maybe Major Boner is his commanding officer?


I knew a Carl Boner years ago. He was our shoe repairman in Freehold for awhile, but then he went away to prison for stealing Snickers Bars or something. Maybe they're related.

[Angelique]

Re: I Must Confess....

Disconnect your email right away. You don't want to leave a permanent trail of pornographic bedroom-chat on the internets, do you?

Of course I don't! I am in the process of deleting my e-mail address as we speak.

Is he in the military? Maybe Major Boner is his commanding officer?

Umm... no sir... boner is slang for an erection o.O Thats why I'm freaking out.
I knew a Carl Boner years ago. He was our shoe repairman in Freehold for awhile, but then he went away to prison for stealing Snickers Bars or something. Maybe they're related.

[Sister Charli]

Re: I Must Confess....

For the last several days, my fiance has been sending me emails, telling me that I turn him on and give him a (and I quote this derictly from the email) ″major boner″. I feel guilty, and I don't know what to do. Advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

I understand your budgetary dilemma.

I too tried buying cheaper cuts to make my beef burgundy pies and while the T boner was cheaper, I found that the waste once weighed really outweighed any savings when compared with sirloin.

So now I much prefer sir loin rather than those boner cuts.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: I Must Confess....

For the last several days, my fiance has been sending me emails, telling me that I turn him on and give him a (and I quote this derictly from the email) ″major boner″. I feel guilty, and I don't know what to do. Advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

This is more than likely your fault my dear. Do you dress like a whore? Do you adorn yourself in costly array? The Bible is very clear on this topic. If men are aroused, it is the woman's fault.


In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
1st Timothy 2:9-10



They shall not take a wife that is a whore, or profane; neither shall they take a woman put away from her husband: for he is holy unto his God.
Leviticus 21:7



For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit.
She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men.
Proverbs 23:27-28


I suggest that you stop your slatternly behavior immediately, before you damn this supposed fiance of yours to hell by being such a slut. Shame on you for your openly wanton actions!




'

[Angelique]

Re: I Must Confess....

I understand your budgetary dilemma.

I too tried buying cheaper cuts to make my beef burgundy pies and while the T boner was cheaper, I found that the waste once weighed really outweighed any savings when compared with sirloin.

So now I much prefer sir loin rather than those boner cuts.

I appreciate you taking the time to reply to this thread, but I think you misunderstood. By ″boner″, my fiance ment an erection. I apologize, for I should have mentioned this earlier.

[Angelique]

Re: I Must Confess....

This is more than likely your fault my dear. Do you dress like a whore? Do you adorn yourself in costly array? The Bible is very clear on this topic. If men are aroused, it is the woman's fault.


In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
1st Timothy 2:9-10



They shall not take a wife that is a whore, or profane; neither shall they take a woman put away from her husband: for he is holy unto his God.
Leviticus 21:7



For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit.
She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men.
Proverbs 23:27-28


I suggest that you stop your slatternly behavior immediately, before you damn this supposed fiance of yours to hell by being such a slut. Shame on you for your openly wanton actions!

'

Sir, my clothes may not be, er... feminine, but I assure you I do not dress like a whore! As for my actions, he told me in one of the e-mails that it's my horseback riding skills that he likes so much. Here is what he said, word for word:
″Angel, you're freaking killing me here. You say we can't have sex before we get married, but then you go and give me a major boner!!!! Damn it, but you looked real sexy in that race today. You and Ranger really showed them who's boss!!″
To which I replied:
That is super sweet of you to say, but it isn't going to make me have sex with you before we get married! Do you want to burn in hell for eternity? NO, you DON'T, so please stop sending me e-mails like this! I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt″
What am I supposed to do?My dad won't let me quit riding, and my fiance is suffering!

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: I Must Confess....

Sir, my clothes may not be, er... feminine, but I assure you I do not dress like a whore! As for my actions, he told me in one of the e-mails that it's my horseback riding skills that he likes so much. Here is what he said, word for word:
″Angel, you're freaking killing me here. You say we can't have sex before we get married, but then you go and give me a major boner!!!! Damn it, but you looked real sexy in that race today. You and Ranger really showed them who's boss!!″
To which I replied:
That is super sweet of you to say, but it isn't going to make me have sex with you before we get married! Do you want to burn in hell for eternity? NO, you DON'T, so please stop sending me e-mails like this! I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt″
What am I supposed to do?My dad won't let me quit riding, and my fiance is suffering!

Racing on horseback? Why, that is the very pinnacle of harlotry! You sound like some sort of modern day Lady Godiva!

If I had known the details earlier, I would not have been so circumspect with my criticism! You are a filthy strumpet, straddling that mighty steed, with your legs akimbo and your breasts flopping this way and that, for all the world to see! Shame on you and shame on your father for allowing this display to take place!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: I Must Confess....

Sir, my clothes may not be, er... feminine, but I assure you I do not dress like a whore! As for my actions, he told me in one of the e-mails that it's my horseback riding skills that he likes so much. Here is what he said, word for word:
″Angel, you're freaking killing me here. You say we can't have sex before we get married, but then you go and give me a major boner!!!! Damn it, but you looked real sexy in that race today. You and Ranger really showed them who's boss!!″
To which I replied:
That is super sweet of you to say, but it isn't going to make me have sex with you before we get married! Do you want to burn in hell for eternity? NO, you DON'T, so please stop sending me e-mails like this! I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt″
What am I supposed to do?My dad won't let me quit riding, and my fiance is suffering!

I think maybe your boyfriend might be one of those beastiality perverts!

Why else would he get excited watching some stupid horse run around in circles? And if it's a male horse, that makes him a queer animal lover to boot!

[Sister Charli]

Re: I Must Confess....

As for my actions, he told me in one of the e-mails that it's my horseback riding skills that he likes so much.

You might as well have sex before marriage Angelique.

No doubt you have broken your hymen riding horses so you are no longer a virgin anyway.

[Angelique]

Re: I Must Confess....

You might as well have sex before marriage Angelique.

No doubt you have broken your hymen riding horses so you are no longer a virgin anyway.

I think maybe your boyfriend might be one of those beastiality perverts!

Why else would he get excited watching some stupid horse run around in circles? And if it's a male horse, that makes him a queer animal lover to boot!

Racing on horseback? Why, that is the very pinnacle of harlotry! You sound like some sort of modern day Lady Godiva!

If I had known the details earlier, I would not have been so circumspect with my criticism! You are a filthy strumpet, straddling that mighty steed, with your legs akimbo and your breasts flopping this way and that, for all the world to see! Shame on you and shame on your father for allowing this display to take place!

Very well, I will find a way to get my father to let me quit riding. He won't let me because he paid a lot of money for Ranger and he can't ride the horse himself. But, it is worth it for 3 reasons:

1. I won't be sinning

2. I won't be causing my fiance to sin

3. I won't be saddle sore any more

Thank you all for your wonderful help.

[Lisa H]

Re: I Must Confess....

Very well, I will find a way to get my father to let me quit riding. He won't let me because he paid a lot of money for Ranger and he can't ride the horse himself. But, it is worth it for 3 reasons:

1. I won't be sinning

2. I won't be causing my fiance to sin

3. I won't be saddle sore any more

Thank you all for your wonderful help.

I was thinking about your problem and found this useful information.

The correct way for a woman to go horse riding is to dress in a riding outfit and using a side saddle.

I found this picture which shows the correct way a lady rides her horse.

[Angelique]

Re: I Must Confess....

I was thinking about your problem and found this useful information.

The correct way for a woman to go horse riding is to dress in a riding outfit and using a side saddle.

I found this picture which shows the correct way a lady rides her horse.

Umm.... My dad said he would sooner let me quit, rather than buy me a new saddle and new riding clothes. But I suppose either way it worked out alright!

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: I Must Confess....

My dear Angelique, I have been praying on you and your fiances situation and I believe I may have a solution that is different from the one I first offered. I still believe that displaying yourself like a common street whore is wrong, but I now believe that your future husband bears some responsibility as well and that your father's commands must be obeyed.

As God says in 2nd Timothy 2:22:

Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

If he finds that watching you ride your mighty steed cause his loins to become engorged, the "major boner" affliction your mentioned in your earlier post, it is his responsibility to avoid watching you engage in this activity.

The following passage from John also illustrates my point.

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.
1st John 2:15-17

As far as your future husband is concerned, until the two of you are married, you are of the world. God has not joined you to this man yet, and you have not yet promised to obey him. At this point, you must obey your father and you must also endeavor to please your father until your husband takes his place as your master.

So if your father commands you to ride Ranger in tight fitting riding attire in full view of the public, you must do so. After you are married, you will be required to submit to your husband and his need to lie with you whenever he so desires.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Ephesians 5:22-24

I hope my counsel has helped you to understand your role as a future Christian wife. And please, if you have anymore questions, feel free to return to our holy forum whenever you feel the need for a True Christian™ perspective on a worldly matter.