Whatever to Do About the "Gay" Agenda?

[Bernice Gratsch]

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ Jesus -

The homersexulls are coming out of their frock-filled closets faster than zombies in Night of the Living Dead.

You see, my middle name is Gay. And I'm wondering if I should change it now that the EVIL Homersexull Agenda has forced its unrepentent will upon the majority of God-fearing Christian Americans and RUINED the good word 'gay.'

I was hoping, of course, that I would be married by now so that I would take "Gratsch" as my middle name (which flows lovingly over the tongue). But my ex-fiance Amos Schrump turned out to be a Raging Judy Garland Loving Fag! He said he had changed, but NOT TRUE. He will roast nicely in hell, thank you.


I have lived with the middle name 'Gay' all my life, but now it is a source of shame and embarrassment. On the other hand, if I change it legally, I am giving in to the Homer Terrorists!

YiC,
- Bernice Gay Gratsch

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Whatever to Do About the "Gay" Agenda?

When I was an unrepentant queer, I used to say that Gay was my middle name as well. When I was intoxicated, which was quite often, I would sometimes say that my middle name was the vernacular term for fellatio as well. It is neither of course, but when I was in the grips of my drug fueled sodomania, I said a great number of things that were not true. My actual middle name is Jessica.

You see, my mother desperately wanted a girl and my father was a weak willed milquetoast who never stood up to her. She kept my hair in long ringlets all through grammar school and she dressed me in flashy colors like purple and pink most of the time. Here is one of the few pictures of me as a child without a bow in my hair.

This may have had something to do with my choosing the homosexual lifestyle that led to my mental disease. As to your question about your middle name, I would certainly change it if you feel it could cause you to stray from the Godly path. I know it would be extremely difficult for me if my middle name actually was Gay. It would constantly remind me of the innumerable nameless homos whose members I took into my body during my unsaved days as a power bottom. I would hate to be constantly reminded of all the anonymous erections that I serviced, often more than one at a time, when I was a disgusting fag.