Classifieds: Hi, it's Dolli! :)

[DolliMoans]

Re: Classifieds: Hi, it's Dolli!

I just recieved a call from this fellow who goes by the name "Patriot Patrice".



I'm little dubious. Just as Sister Basilissa speculated if I was a femeNazi disguised as a Christian, I worry that this man is an illegal swaddled in the protection of the American flag.

[DolliMoans]

Re: Classifieds: Hi, it's Dolli!

Oh, Sister Dolli! I do so hope you meet a wonderful man! I know how the nights can get so lonely without one, especially since my dear husband has been in jail after being so wrongfully accused. Luckily one of our fieldhands, a Mexican (or as he says, "I'm a MexiCAN, not a MexiCAN'T!" He is so funny!) worker named Manuel, has so graciously agreed to help out around the house as the boys and I so anxiously await my husband's return. Manuel is a strong man, full of all those ripply muscles, just like that heathenish Thor, but much darker. Dark brown hair that isn't the least bit greasy or oily like most Mexicans, dark brown eyes with little flecks of gold. Have you ever heard of something called "washboard abs?" Apparently, it is where a man works his torso so that his stomach area is tight and firm. He let me compare his abs to a washboard one day, and they are! They are just as hard as a washboard! It's amazing! And the way he whispers Spanish can just send chills up your spine! And -



Oh dear me, listen to me prattling on like that! As I was saying, the nights can get lonely and I wish you the best of luck!

I'm sorry Dana, Mexicans are oily liars, and very poor I understand. I couldn't possibly let their swarthy heathen bodies have their way with me.

[DolliMoans]

Re: Classifieds: Hi, it's Dolli!

These are older photos taken when Mr. Moans was still around. They were all I could find. I believe it could be a double exposure of his lower half superimposed over mine coincidentally in both photos.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Classifieds: Hi, it's Dolli!

That was a powerful testimony, Brother Larry.

What bothers me, though, is why is Mrs. Moans wearing PANTS? Do we have a feminist she-wolf trying to penetrate our Godly flock?!?


ALARM!!!

Dearest Sister

As jesus has filled me with purity, I have never looked at women so much that I notice such things. That ia unless they are committing some fashion faux pas. I suppose you will have to prayerfully bring this up with Dolli.

BrotherLarry

[Basilissa]

Re: Classifieds: Hi, it's Dolli!

That was a powerful testimony, Brother Larry.

What bothers me, though, is why is Mrs. Moans wearing PANTS? Do we have a feminist she-wolf trying to penetrate our Godly flock?!?


ALARM!!!

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Classifieds: Hi, it's Dolli!

Sister Moans:


The LORD spake unto me as I was praying for your man situation and He shewed unto me a vision. I saw you with not just one man, but several. He told me that only ONE of them is right for you and you will have to trust JESUS to help you pick the right one.


He said they will range in age from 18 to 84. He said you will see sons in your future to replace the children who were ravaged and taken from you by the devil. I saw a handsome blonde son wrapping his arms around your neck, telling you, "I love you Mommy Dolli! I love you! Let's pray, Mommy Dollie!" Oh Glory to God! This was just as clear as crystal. Sister, God doesn't lie. He doesn't make promises without intention of keeping them. You WILL have a blessed life in the NAME of JESUS, glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory!


The LORD told me just now that you are to run around your home 7 times and claim victory over your love life in JESUS NAME. You are to shout "Send me a man, Lord!" as you run. On the 7th time you are to shout THANK YOU JESUS in faith knowing that your prayers will be answered.


One thing He didn't say is just when these men will come into your life - they could already be there - but I know and I know and I know that GOD will be faithful to you. One thing sister: He wants you to get rid of those cigarettes. I am not saying this to embarrass you but He told me you've been sneaking some smokes in the house and your Grenadine is going to find them and start smoking them. Don't let that happen, sister. Cleanse your temple.


I declare in JESUS HOLY NAME that all of this is factual and that your lonely nights will be over in God's time.


BrotherLarry

[Dana723]

Re: Classifieds: Hi, it's Dolli!

Oh, Sister Dolli! I do so hope you meet a wonderful man! I know how the nights can get so lonely without one, especially since my dear husband has been in jail after being so wrongfully accused. Luckily one of our fieldhands, a Mexican (or as he says, "I'm a MexiCAN, not a MexiCAN'T!" He is so funny!) worker named Manuel, has so graciously agreed to help out around the house as the boys and I so anxiously await my husband's return. Manuel is a strong man, full of all those ripply muscles, just like that heathenish Thor, but much darker. Dark brown hair that isn't the least bit greasy or oily like most Mexicans, dark brown eyes with little flecks of gold. Have you ever heard of something called "washboard abs?" Apparently, it is where a man works his torso so that his stomach area is tight and firm. He let me compare his abs to a washboard one day, and they are! They are just as hard as a washboard! It's amazing! And the way he whispers Spanish can just send chills up your spine! And -



Oh dear me, listen to me prattling on like that! As I was saying, the nights can get lonely and I wish you the best of luck!

[DolliMoans]

NAME: Dolleen Sue-Helen Moans v

Actual photos:



DOB: January 25, 1969, (but looks 20ish on a good day.)
LOCATION: Rockford, Illinois
WASTE: Waste not, want not. Except if it's to help God's Plan for accelerating the End of Times, via so-called Global Warming.
HEIGHT: I aim for Heaven.
SIN #: Sorry don't have one. :*( Why have a number for what I don't do?
FAVORITE BIBLE VERSE: Matthew 7 :6 - Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you. (I can relate - often I feel like the pearl amongst trash in my neighborhood.)

HOBBIES: More like jobbies - cooking, cleaning, single-handedly staying on top of my remaining kids, things Jesus expects of me, and I strive to go above and beyond. Minding my own business. Minding everyone's business if it's a chance to share Christ at the most unexpected times. I'm a stay-at-home mom, but a stay-afternoon for coffee time and Jesus volunteer at church.

ABOUT ME: Well, I'm just a woman which isn't interesting at all, so I'll skip to the chase - my husband, Mr. Moans is dead. He died some while a good thanks to a giant fish, so I am ready to emerge from my shell and go on the prowl for a new appropriate Christian hubby, preferably with a six-figure income. I am looking for a man who will honor me as he sees fit through God, as I'm truly a widow now and need Jesus through this darkened time. (Psalm 68:5) (1 Timothy 5:5)

I'll give priority preference to a True Christian™ man, if it may elevate my own social status by proxy. My baby-maker is sturdy and has been thoroughly cleaned since Mr. Moans had his go at it, so it's like almost new.


INQUIRE FOR DETAILS AND SET UP A BIBLE STUDY DATE WITH DOLLI AT: {#HIDDEN - DM for serious inquires}