X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

    Well I am finally on my way to Hawaii to meet up with Billy Bob. I had so many things to quickly tidy up before leaving. I got all my bags packed and picked up my new JPad. The man at the shop was so nice he installed the King James Bible App and a App for Landover. I accidently set of the security alarm at airport with it. I felt so silly.

    Billy Bob has sent me a few PM's saying he likes the condo but is nervous about going outside. I hope he has not spent all the time inside. The manager emailed me and said he has not eaten any of the food sent up.

    It will be a surprise for Billy Bob when I turn up as I did not tell him when I will be arriving.

    Here is a picture of my new JPad. It so awesome to use. The touch screen is tricky though.

    Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
    Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
    Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
    Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
    Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
    Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

  • #2
    Re: Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

    Here are just a few of the remarkable Hawaiian scenes I have been met with since my arrival.

    The beach where I swim:


    The sunrise as seen from the pool:


    Some varmint I ran across:


    Brown people doing kung-fu:


    I have almost completely forgotten about Ethel and her outrageous behavior. And her untimely death. A week more of this and I will be healed from all those years of stress. And the trauma of her loss.
    The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

      Well I finally arrived and Billy Bob was pleased to see me. He gave me a hug that almost squeezed the life out of me. It must all the strength he has from swinging his axe.

      We chattered for awhile and went to a luau.

      We saw the roasted pig being carried to the food. Billy Bob said they were weaklings because it took two of them to carry it.



      Some of the dancers came out for the first of the show. Billy Bob said he started feeling better during the show.



      We then had a main meal. We had the pork dish. It was lovely. I wont tell you how many helpings Billy Bob had.



      The highlight of the show was the fire dancers.

      Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
      Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
      Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
      Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
      Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
      Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

        The fire dancers, while entertaining, were on drugs, possessed by demons, and dressed as women. One of them looked like he was going to attack Lisa, so I jumped up on stage and took his torch from him. I got burned pretty badly in the ensuing melee but succeeded in protecting Lisa.
        The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

          What a true gentleman you are Brother Billy Bob.
          2 Chronicles 7:14
          14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

            Let me see if I get the picture, Billy Bob, a recent widower and a Lisa, in Hawaii, alone in a condo. WITH out a chaperone. And yet Lisa doubts that my wife, Phebe is a True Christian(TM)

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

              Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
              Let me see if I get the picture, Billy Bob, a recent widower and a Lisa, in Hawaii, alone in a condo. WITH out a chaperone. And yet Lisa doubts that my wife, Phebe is a True Christian™
              I'm sure that must have been a typo, brother.
              The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

                Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
                I'm sure that must have been a typo, brother.
                Is this a typo?
                Brother James don't you think it is bit extravagant having a menstra mansion. We know you love Sister Phebe and would doing anything for her. There is doubt she is a True Christian woman.

                May I suggest you paddle a backside!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

                  Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                  Is this a typo?



                  May I suggest you paddle a backside!
                  I'm sure she meant, "there is no doubt she is a True Christian(tm) woman."

                  I can't imagine that Lisa didn't realize that Phebe DeWitt is every bit the Christian that Jesus is. Surely everyone knows that.
                  The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

                    Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
                    I'm sure she meant, "there is no doubt she is a True Christian™ woman."

                    I can't imagine that Lisa didn't realize that Phebe DeWitt is every bit the Christian that Jesus is. Surely everyone knows that.
                    Apearently not, Lisa and her friend Charli have been bad mouthing Phebe for a couple of days. It seems they are upset about her Menstra hut, something about it being extravagant. You have a bit of a wild one on your hands!
                    The problem will be corrected I assume. I will be contacting this Luke fellow latter, he might want to have a talk with Charli.http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=48367

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

                      Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                      Apearently not, Lisa and her friend Charli have been bad mouthing Phebe for a couple of days. It seems they are upset about her Menstra hut, something about it being extravagant. You have a bit of a wild one on your hands!
                      The problem will be corrected I assume. I will be contacting this Luke fellow latter, he might want to have a talk with Charli.http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=48367
                      You don't think... surely it couldn't be... Lisa couldn't be another Ethel, could she?

                      It could be all of the unsupervised internet usage. Perhaps all she needs is a man.
                      The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

                        Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
                        You don't think... surely it couldn't be... Lisa couldn't be another Ethel, could she?

                        It could be all of the unsupervised internet usage. Perhaps all she needs is a man.
                        NIP IT IN THE BUD! I think spoiled brat! Look Billy Bob, have have big strong arms and hands, use them on a backside.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

                          Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                          NIP IT IN THE BUD! I think spoiled brat! Look Billy Bob, have have big strong arms and hands, use them on a backside.
                          As I am not married to this woman, I'm afraid I cannot be held responsible for her unruliness.

                          It is good that I found this out about her sooner rather than later.
                          The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

                            Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                            Let me see if I get the picture, Billy Bob, a recent widower and a Lisa, in Hawaii, alone in a condo. WITH out a chaperone. And yet Lisa doubts that my wife, Phebe is a True Christian™
                            Brother James I did not doubt Phebe is a True Christian. It was just a typo. the sentence should have been, "There is no doubt she is a True Christian woman".
                            It must have been because I typed it on my new JPad. I did say the touch screen is a bit tricky.
                            Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
                            Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
                            Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
                            Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
                            Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
                            Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Lisa Meets Billy Bob in Hawaii

                              Originally posted by Lisa H View Post
                              Brother James I did not doubt Phebe is a True Christian. It was just a typo. the sentence should have been, "There is no doubt she is a True Christian woman".
                              It must have been because I typed it on my new JPad. I did say the virtual keyboard is a bit tricky.
                              Of course it was. I assured Brother James that this was the case. After all, everybody knows that Phebe DeWitt is as True as the King James Bible when it comes to Christianity. I knew you would never say such a thing. That would be insane.
                              The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X