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I was ministering to a group of first year LBC university students the other day, and after explaining the story of Lot having sex with his daughters in the cave and why he was a good man of GOD, I asked if anyone had any questions. After a long pause a greasy faced simpleton shouted out "Are you a breast or leg man?".
I replied "Leg if I'm honest, breast can sometimes be too dry on it's own; especially if overcooked."
Then things started getting weird, he laughed and said
"On women I mean, the breasts and legs on women, which do you prefer?"
I had no answer. In honesty all I really care about when it comes to women is:
a) how proficient a housewife she is
b) her childbearing potential (Genesis 1:28)
c) how much she loves Christ
When I was looking for a partner, I therefore looked for: wide hips, obedience and a LBC members card. It turns out some PERVERTS aren't like me, and instead look for things like breasts and legs on a woman.
My question, what's the point? I don't want my wife to be an olympic high jumper. She just needs legs large enough to reach the sink, but small enough to be able to bend down and clean a 10x10 meter section of flooring in under 50 seconds.
By the same token, breasts just seem like a complete waste of time; he said to me "Wouldn't you prefer a lovely pair of DD's to no breasts at all?" After enquiring about what he meant by DD I said "I don't care!! I don't mind them as long as they don't get in the way".
I started getting annoyed by the demon ruining my ministering session, and so I told him he would burn in hell for thinking lustful thoughts (Matthew 5:28) and stormed out.
As I was leaving the rest of the teens were laughing, I think I must have rebuked him well!
Leg or breast? NEITHER!
My advice to every single Christian man here is to look past these satanic distractions on the female anatomy, placed there by demons with the sole aim of interfering with you finding a fruitful, submissive and God-fearing wife. 
I'm still really annoyed about this halfwit "student", how do these kind of disgusting parasites get into Freehold anyway? I have already made a formal complaint to the University, the Church and the Mayor asking exactly how this demon managed to wriggle his way though the Freehold security net, suggesting July 11th for stoning.
I replied "Leg if I'm honest, breast can sometimes be too dry on it's own; especially if overcooked."
Then things started getting weird, he laughed and said
"On women I mean, the breasts and legs on women, which do you prefer?"
I had no answer. In honesty all I really care about when it comes to women is:
a) how proficient a housewife she is
b) her childbearing potential (Genesis 1:28)
c) how much she loves Christ
When I was looking for a partner, I therefore looked for: wide hips, obedience and a LBC members card. It turns out some PERVERTS aren't like me, and instead look for things like breasts and legs on a woman.
My question, what's the point? I don't want my wife to be an olympic high jumper. She just needs legs large enough to reach the sink, but small enough to be able to bend down and clean a 10x10 meter section of flooring in under 50 seconds.
By the same token, breasts just seem like a complete waste of time; he said to me "Wouldn't you prefer a lovely pair of DD's to no breasts at all?" After enquiring about what he meant by DD I said "I don't care!! I don't mind them as long as they don't get in the way".
I started getting annoyed by the demon ruining my ministering session, and so I told him he would burn in hell for thinking lustful thoughts (Matthew 5:28) and stormed out.
As I was leaving the rest of the teens were laughing, I think I must have rebuked him well!
Leg or breast? NEITHER!
My advice to every single Christian man here is to look past these satanic distractions on the female anatomy, placed there by demons with the sole aim of interfering with you finding a fruitful, submissive and God-fearing wife. I'm still really annoyed about this halfwit "student", how do these kind of disgusting parasites get into Freehold anyway? I have already made a formal complaint to the University, the Church and the Mayor asking exactly how this demon managed to wriggle his way though the Freehold security net, suggesting July 11th for stoning.
has somehow made his way into the House of God! A God-fearing man knows that a woman's legs should be covered and her breasts should only be looked upon by her offspring while nursing. What a pervert!
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