Today, my divorce from my fifth wife, Leanne, was finalized. Now, while us Baptists frown on divorce, it is allowed under certain circumstances, like if your soon-to-be-ex-wife is a total and depraved whore.
Matthew 19:9
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
So Leanne signed an affadavit that she was cheating on me, in exchange for an alimony of $10,000 a month. While some have criticized this as me giving into a greedy whore (or even insinuating that I'm paying her to lie about cheating on me in order to be justified by Biblical law), it's really chump change to me and I don't care. I'd pay $50,000 a month to get that shrew off my back!
Now, I'm celebrating my new-found bachelor freedom by knocking off a special bottle of 25 year old Glenfiddich that I picked up from my vacation in Scotland a couple of months ago. This is a special edition from 1983 so it cost me about a little over $1,000 but I think tonight's a great night for such an auspicious drink.
Right now I have some company over, so I'm gonna go play some billiards with the guys and enjoy this bottle. Keep your eye on this thread for updates as I review this drink!
Matthew 19:9
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
So Leanne signed an affadavit that she was cheating on me, in exchange for an alimony of $10,000 a month. While some have criticized this as me giving into a greedy whore (or even insinuating that I'm paying her to lie about cheating on me in order to be justified by Biblical law), it's really chump change to me and I don't care. I'd pay $50,000 a month to get that shrew off my back!
Now, I'm celebrating my new-found bachelor freedom by knocking off a special bottle of 25 year old Glenfiddich that I picked up from my vacation in Scotland a couple of months ago. This is a special edition from 1983 so it cost me about a little over $1,000 but I think tonight's a great night for such an auspicious drink.
Right now I have some company over, so I'm gonna go play some billiards with the guys and enjoy this bottle. Keep your eye on this thread for updates as I review this drink!
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