Finally Beginning My Search.

[Halleluyah Rob]

It's been 2 years since the passing of my beloved Belinda. Me and my 8 year old boy have been in dreadful mourning, however I feel it's high time we recruit a new female to serve and love us. I do not want my son to have to grow up without a tender woman in his life. It's also crucial that I spread my seed to produce many more soldiers of Christ.

This will be difficult because, being 25 years of age, the only unmarried women my age are sluts and heathens. If anyone is trying to find their young daughters a fine suitor, contact me!

[Nobar King]

Re: Finally Beginning My Search.

I'm sure you're a great catch. You don't want to marry a 25 yr old because she is going to be too close to being barren. I'd recommend a woman who is closer to 18 years to give you more sons. It doesn't matter if she's under 21 because you don't want her drinking in bars, anyway.

[Magnus Democritus]

Re: Finally Beginning My Search.

Greetings Brother.

Let's not forget 1 Corinthians 7:8 and may God bless us all.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Finally Beginning My Search.

Greetings Brother.

Let's not forget 1 Corinthians 7:8 and may God bless us all.

You really need to look at verses 8 and 9 together:

(1 Corinthians 7:8-9) "I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn."



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Halleluyah Rob]

Re: Finally Beginning My Search.

Greetings Brother.

Let's not forget 1 Corinthians 7:8 and may God bless us all.

Are you trying to claim that remarrying is sinful?

1 Corinthians 7:39 -

The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

The LORD permits widows to remarry.



As for my search, it is quite difficult to find a faithful True Christian™ woman. My old friend's daughter recently turned 18, so he gave me a call yesterday. After hours of legal contracts and wagers I was permitted to take his daughter out to a conservative restaurant under his supervision.

All went well until we headed back to his home. He had to use the rest room and left us alone in the living room for but a minute. IMMEDIATELY she shed her clothing and lept at me like an animal, hungry for fornication. I threw her off me and ran all the way home. Afterward I spent the entire night in the good ol' prayer closet with my KJV purifying myself. Just goes to show how sexually deviant women are when they aren't under control.

[HallelujahHallelujah]

Re: Finally Beginning My Search.

Are you trying to claim that remarrying is sinful?

1 Corinthians 7:39 -

The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

The LORD permits widows to remarry.



As for my search, it is quite difficult to find a faithful True Christian™ woman. My old friend's daughter recently turned 18, so he gave me a call yesterday. After hours of legal contracts and wagers I was permitted to take his daughter out to a conservative restaurant under his supervision.

All went well until we headed back to his home. He had to use the rest room and left us alone in the living room for but a minute. IMMEDIATELY she shed her clothing and lept at me like an animal, hungry for fornication. I threw her off me and ran all the way home. Afterward I spent the entire night in the good ol' prayer closet with my KJV purifying myself. Just goes to show how sexually deviant women are when they aren't under control.

Your story is quite grim brother. I think she was possessed by the Devil but you should consult a higher clerical authority to make sure. I would not try to see her again, who knows what evil may arise.

[herbertLovesGod]

Re: Finally Beginning My Search.

As for my search, it is quite difficult to find a faithful True Christian™ woman. My old friend's daughter recently turned 18, so he gave me a call yesterday. After hours of legal contracts and wagers I was permitted to take his daughter out to a conservative restaurant under his supervision.

All went well until we headed back to his home. He had to use the rest room and left us alone in the living room for but a minute. IMMEDIATELY she shed her clothing and lept at me like an animal, hungry for fornication. I threw her off me and ran all the way home. Afterward I spent the entire night in the good ol' prayer closet with my KJV purifying myself. Just goes to show how sexually deviant women are when they aren't under control.

What a horrible experience, I hope you didn't have to witness much unclothed flesh before you were able to crawl into the comfort of the KJV.

Also a kudos from me and a big fella I like to call God:

"For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication" - 1 Thessalonians 4:3

Fathers, marry your daughters off before satan has his way with them and leaves them tattered shreds of what a true subservient woman should be.

Good luck my friend, you have Jesus as your copilot.
Servant Herbert.