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  • #1

    Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

    Dear Lord! I guess we have all been busy getting ready to celebrate your birthday because we forgot to pray for Ann Coulter. Poor Ann fell and broke her jaw, which has been wired shut! I feel as if the our Godly Conservative World is crumbling around us. Anyway, please help Ann with her Jaw problem. AMEN!

    PS Perhaps this would be a good time to post our favorite Ann Coulter sayings and videos, just to help us get thought this difficult time.
    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
    Tags: gay rodeo chaps, kill red hat ladies, other lips, vertical pie hole
  • #2
    Re: Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

    Oh, that was no accident; Barack Obama caused it, i'm sure.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

      Oh no!

      Dear LORD in HEAVEN,

      Please take this unfortunate opportunity to shave down her overly manly Adam's Apple. I also hope she gets lotion therapy on her man hands
      errrr hands

      Here's how: Take 2 freezer sized baggies. Generously pump lotion filling 2/3 of the bottom of the bag. Insert hands, squish lotion over them. Seal with rubber bands at wrist and sleep with them on for 8-10 hours. Wake with refreshed, younger looking hands!

      Helpful,

      Sister Thumper
      sigpic

      Tweet me Here
      My GODLY Bio Here

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

        Well you know how the old proverb goes: God gave us one mouth and two ears because we're supposed to listen twice as much as we talk. Luckily God gave Ms. Culter two mouths and I gave her a pair of assless chaps for her last birthday in case of such a tragedy.

        LIVE STRONG ANN. WE'RE BEHIND YOU... LISTENING!
        sigpic

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

          Please, God! Make it permanent.
          Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
          "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
          Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

            Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
            Please, God! Make it permanent.
            Amen, Pastor. Who are we to question God's clearly stated will? The Lord wants her to keep her yap shut, and so it He caused it to happen...

            Genesis 1:10 .... and God saw that it was good.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
              Amen, Pastor. Who are we to question God's clearly stated will? The Lord wants her to keep her yap shut, and so it He made caused it to happen...
              I think perhaps God is warning Sister Coulter that she has not been sufficiently tough on the Jews and athiests and Darwinists and Catholics and homos and abortionists and liberal-biased mainstream media. She took a wrong turn when she said that she'd support Hillary Clinton over John McCain, and I hope this whole incident will be a lesson to her. Ann, we want you back as the firey Republican we all knew and loved!

              Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name.... Jeremiah 10:25

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

                This HAS to be a plot hatched by a certain President Elect.

                Godly Ann Coulter could have had her strong, firm Jaw damaged for life.

                Sister Talitha

                Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

                  Originally posted by Talitha View Post
                  This HAS to be a plot hatched by a certain President Elect.

                  Godly Ann Coulter could have had her strong, firm Jaw damaged for life.
                  Yea, she could, couldn't she...

                  Maybe since she hasn't been taken in by a Godly Man to properly teach her the ways of womanhood, Jesus just decided to give her the back of His loving hand over something. Jesus can do that you know.
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    The Lord wants her to keep her yap shut, and so it He made caused it to happen...
                    Aren't women prohibited from talking in Church?* So I would imagine this would extend, in some degree, to most other areas as well.

                    * Unless, of course, you see a Sister wearing an outfit that looks just so funky that you are Compelled to Correct her!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

                      Originally posted by SUV View Post
                      Aren't women prohibited from talking in Church?* So I would imagine this would extend, in some degree, to most other areas as well.

                      * Unless, of course, you see a Sister wearing an outfit that looks just so funky that you are Compelled to Correct her!
                      Sweet Sister Sue, I'm not sure if Mz Coulter might not be exempt from those rules. But certainly, if you see a Red Hat Lady in our church, you can just smack the Snickerdoodles out of her without saying a word!
                      Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        Amen, Pastor. Who are we to question God's clearly stated will? The Lord wants her to keep her yap shut, and so it He caused it to happen...
                        Pastor, I was thinking the exact same thing. Ann Coulter is demon possessed. Why else would she have endorsed Hellary?



                        A classic case of demonic possession. Help our sister Ann.

                        GET OFF HER SATAN IN JESUS' NAME!

                        Jesus loves Dick



                        Cheney/Palin 2012

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

                          With a lot of the liberal nonsense poor Ann has been spewing lately, I'm not at all convinced that her JAW was the thing to wire up to get her to shut up...
                          Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

                            Originally posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
                            But certainly, if you see a Red Hat Lady in our church, you can just smack the Snickerdoodles out of her without saying a word!
                            Sweet Sufferin' JESUS, Mother Glynndie! I had seen a photo of some of these "women" in the newspaper and thought Surely it was a Photoshopped prank.



                            And there Mrs Betty Bowers smacked me silly the time I wore red & pink to Church. She seemed to rather actively resent the complexity and originality of my Godly worldview

                            And what's even ghastlier about this bunch of gomer!s is their worldview:

                            "How It All Started

                            The Red Hat Society began as a result of a few women deciding to greet middle age with verve, humor and elan. We believe silliness is the comedy relief of life, and since we are all in it together, we might as well join red-gloved hands and go for the gusto together. Underneath the frivolity, we share a bond of affection, forged by common life experiences and a genuine enthusiasm for wherever life takes us next."

                            I have taken the Liberty of bolding the many disgusting parts. And twice, too, they failed to capitalize The Word™ "Life"

                            I will not give a link to their outrageous website! If this prevents even one Soul from going to HELL I will have done my Christian Duty. And won't Satan just lurrrve all of those RED hats!!!

                            They are all COMMUNISS and should be lashed until they drop.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Did we Forget to Pray 4 Ann Coulter?

                              Thank the Lord Ms. Coulter didn't damage her large, manly hands. She can at least continue to write for the Lord, once she realizes the error of her ways!

                              Do we know yet who decked her? Was it that disgusting Michael Moore?
                              Bible boring? Nonsense!
                              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                              Comment

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