Pray God isn't Seduced by Whorish Diet Guru

[Mistress Cookie]

"Christian", bleached blonde diet guru Gwen Shamblin is making salacious comments about God, as this article indicates:

QUOTE:

<< Like other gurus, Shamblin includes an implicit promise of erotic fulfillment. The Lord is "the best-looking and most-loving and richest husband of all times," she writes. He is "not a wimpy lover," but "a passionate, jealous God," the "hero we have all been dreaming of." She writes, "I have a crush on the Father, and this is what it looks like: I dress for Him and say, 'God, do you like this outfit?' . . .
I look forward to a rendezvous with God. . . . I can't take my eyes off Him now." >>

hxxp://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/2000/02/The-Christian-Diet-Craze.aspx

I don't know what to make of this, but I think some prayers put out there that God stay strong in the face of this weathered temptress' assault on his virtue couldn't hurt. (Did she ask God if he liked her hedgehog wig, too? It doesn't look like it.)

[Nobar King]

Re: Pray God isn't Seduced by Whorish Diet Guru

Is this a diet, or the Kama Sutra?

[WickedWitch]

Re: Pray God isn't Seduced by Whorish Diet Guru

Whoa, she's, umm... She's a little intense, isn't she? If I were your god, I'd keep my eyes on her and not make any sudden movements.

[Nobar King]

Re: Pray God isn't Seduced by Whorish Diet Guru

That's why you can find the word 'omniscient' in the dictionary.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Pray God isn't Seduced by Whorish Diet Guru

That's why you can find the word 'omniscient' in the dictionary.

Lol, because God's terrified of the lizard-lady? I gotta tell ya, that's tragic. *Shudders* Ugh, she's horrifying!

[JennyD]

Re: Pray God isn't Seduced by Whorish Diet Guru

Her Adam's apple is nearly as seductively substantial as Ann Coulter's.

What man could resist?

[Hymie Goldberg]

Re: Pray God isn't Seduced by Whorish Diet Guru

"Christian", bleached blonde diet guru Gwen Shamblin is making salacious comments about God, as this article indicates:

QUOTE:

<< Like other gurus, Shamblin includes an implicit promise of erotic fulfillment. The Lord is "the best-looking and most-loving and richest husband of all times," she writes. He is "not a wimpy lover," but "a passionate, jealous God," the "hero we have all been dreaming of." She writes, "I have a crush on the Father, and this is what it looks like: I dress for Him and say, 'God, do you like this outfit?' . . .
I look forward to a rendezvous with God. . . . I can't take my eyes off Him now." >>

hxxp://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/2000/02/The-Christian-Diet-Craze.aspx

Well I'm just plotzing here, I am. If this ghastly shiksa was so intent on worshipping the "jealous G-d" she'd know she should keep her meat away from her dairy, she should!

Where is the husband of this hideous wench I wonder?

Shalom

Hymie

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Pray God isn't Seduced by Whorish Diet Guru

Are you sure she isn't really David never gunna bo bo Bowie?

[Nobar King]

Re: Pray God isn't Seduced by Whorish Diet Guru

Or Axl Rose:

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Pray God isn't Seduced by Whorish Diet Guru

It could even be Tina Turner, trying to trick God by wearing a lighter makeup base?

I would put nothing past this perverted soul.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Pray God isn't Seduced by Whorish Diet Guru

No way in hell is that "woman" David Bowie! 1) He's gorgeous (and I mean, drop-dead, foaming-at-the-mouth, can't-keep-my-hands-off-him, sizzling-hot sexy), and she looks like a lizard. 2) He's a man (a gorgeous man with a wonderful voice), and she's something like a woman. 3) They look nothing alike. I'd suspect her of being Tina Turner in disguise before David Bowie (or even Axl Rose).

However, I have a much different suspicion: she is actually a type of hybrid human created by either a secret organisation or a mad scientist, or a secret organisation of mad scientists. It's an experiment, perhaps an attempt at global domination, I'm not sure. But anyway, this organisation has somehow gotten hold of the DNA of reptilian aliens and has been combining this DNA with that of humans still in the womb. The DNA of the fetus is then further tweaked so that the human-alien hybrid has an unusual amount of testosterone. This produces cross-breeds that look too masculine (even for men) and lizard-like. This woman is obviously one of these hybrids. So is Joan Rivers. The jury's out as to whether or not Janis Dickinson could also be one. Whatever their purpose is, we must certainly be watchful and careful to avoid them, they could be dangerous and possess unknown strength and powers.

[JennyD]

Re: Pray God isn't Seduced by Whorish Diet Guru

So you're saying that isn't David Lee Roth?

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Pray God isn't Seduced by Whorish Diet Guru

she is actually a type of hybrid human created by either a secret organisation or a mad scientist, or a secret organisation of mad scientists. It's an experiment, perhaps an attempt at global domination, I'm not sure. But anyway, this organisation has somehow gotten hold of the DNA of reptilian aliens and has been combining this DNA with that of humans still in the womb. The DNA of the fetus is then further tweaked so that the human-alien hybrid has an unusual amount of testosterone. This produces cross-breeds that look too masculine (even for men) and lizard-like. This woman is obviously one of these hybrids. So is Joan Rivers. The jury's out as to whether or not Janis Dickinson could also be one. Whatever their purpose is, we must certainly be watchful and careful to avoid them, they could be dangerous and possess unknown strength and powers.

I will keep my eyes open for these "people". Thank you for the heads-up on Rivers and Dickinson. We have never met, and I realize you are not a True Christian(tm). But when America is being infiltrated with Aliens, I imagine that's a time to trade information. Good work.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Pray God isn't Seduced by Whorish Diet Guru

So you're saying that isn't David Lee Roth?

It's a definite possibility, Jenny. You can never tell!

I will keep my eyes open for these "people". Thank you for the heads-up on Rivers and Dickinson. We have never met, and I realize you are not a True Christian™. But when America is being infiltrated with Aliens, I imagine that's a time to trade information. Good work.

Thank you, Sister. Always happy to help.