Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

[Mistress Cookie]

Armed police are combing Hollywood, Vegas and other sin cities for drunken, depraved sex kitten Lindsay Lohan.

All True Christians™ are urged to keep children indoors until the arrest has been made, and to alert Bobby-Joe in Security if the red-headed menace is spotted either in Freehold or on Landover-affiliated property.

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b104455_arrest_warrant_issued_lindsay_lohan.html?utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=imdb_topstories

Friday the 13th was indeed freaky for Lindsay Lohan.

A $50,000 warrant was issued for the 22-year-old starlet yesterday, stemming from her May 2007 DUI arrest during a memorably awful Memorial Day weekend that culminated with the Freaky Friday in rehab.

In a statement, the Beverly Hills Police Department said:

"In response to media inquiries, [the] Beverly Hills Police Department is confirming a warrant was in fact issued for the arrest of Lindsay Lohan. The $50,000 warrant issued by the Beverly Hills Superior Court stems from a May 2007 arrest of Miss Lohan for DUI and hit-and-run. The circumstances leading to the issuance of the warrant by the court are not readily available at this time. It is our hope that Miss Lohan will surrender herself so that this matter will be resolved in a timely manner."

In May 2007, Lindsay was arrested for driving under the influence after losing control of her car and running up a curb. Police found cocaine in her car and lab tests showed the drug in her system.

After pleading guilty in August 2007, Lohan was sentenced to one day in jail and placed on probation for three years.

[ChristianInNC]

Re: Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

Thanks for posting this, sister!

This hussy is likely holed up somewhere with her lezbo harlet girlfriend, doing things that would make the baby Jesus cry.

Turn yourself in and repent, before it's too late! Let's hope the Godless Jezabel stops her wicked ways.

[Nobar King]

Re: Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

This is old news. Do you have any updates?

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

Can you direct me to the previous threads discussing this? We should consolidate our efforts.

Below is the photo distributed to the National Guard for easy identification of the renegade, showing Lohan in her customary garb.

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

Why she looks NOTHING like she did in The Parent Trap. I'm impressed shocked. That movie may no longer be suitable for viewing by the youth group.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

Police have released a copy of her mug shot, as well, to aide in the search.

Note the satanic horns on her head.

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

I think she may be qualified to work in a Hooters breastaurant.

As part of my job at SCOOP I have investigated places such as those from whence her clothes, or lack thereof, come from. They are fascinating unGodly places.

If she flees to South Carolina, SCOOP will pick her up detain her.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

I've done some investigative work of my own, and found photos of the vehicle Lohan drives, posted below. Keep your eyes out for this make and model of car....but don't get in its path, as it may be swerving.

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

I've done some investigative work of my own, and found photos of the vehicle Lohan drives, posted below. Keep your eyes out for this make and model of car....but don't get in its path, as it may be swerving.

Thanks for the tip Mistress Cookie! I have notified my superiors and a SCOOP "pop tall" alert has been issued for the entire State of South Carolina. If she's within our borders one of our agents will sniff her out discover her whereabouts and take her to the Motel 6 arrest her.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Osambo 08]

Re: Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

This is the end result of a few years in Liberwood. Might as well walk naked.

[ChristianInNC]

Re: Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

Her mother must cry herself to sleep every night! She needs a Godly whipping!

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

Well if Lindsay was in South Carolina a SCOOP agent would have nailed dated gone to the Motel 6 with arrested her by now. Our agents have done a clean sweep of every known fun sinful location she may have drifted to. SCOOP's "pop tall" alert remains in effect until she is cuffed captured here or elsewhere.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[ChristianInNC]

Re: Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

Well if Lindsay was in South Carolina a SCOOP agent would have nailed dated gone to the Motel 6 with arrested her by now. Our agents have done a clean sweep of every known fun sinful location she may have drifted to. SCOOP's "pop tall" alert remains in effect until she is cuffed captured here or elsewhere.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

Impressive! I feel blessed to boarder such a Godly state!

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

Impressive! I feel blessed to boarder such a Godly state!

Are you telling me that Lower Virginia does not have an Obscenity Oversight Patrol similar to SCOOP? I find this disturbing but what can you expect from Yankees. Lindsay is probably partying away in Asheville (most sinful den of iniquity in Lower Virginia).

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[ChristianInNC]

Re: Pray that the police catch Desperado Outlaw Lindsay Lohan

Are you telling me that Lower Virginia does not have an Obscenity Oversight Patrol similar to SCOOP? I find this disturbing but what can you expect from Yankees. Lindsay is probably partying away in Asheville (most sinful den of iniquity in Lower Virginia).

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

Guess where I live?