[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

Thank you for the warning Pastor, but I shall only be too pleased if Jesus decides to kill me if he considers my work here has been done.
However, it is of such great benefit to Jesus and our beloved Church that I am able to donate such large amounts of my hard-earned cash that I believe Jesus will gladly kill someone else.

It could be a great marketing slogan...

"Jesus Saves...
...at Bank of America"


Ask about our subprime tithing!

[Talitha]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

BE CAREFUL, HARLOT! You saw what JESUS did to Anna-Nicole AND her illegitimate son! TAKE HEED!

Thank you for the warning Pastor, but I shall only be too pleased if Jesus decides to kill me if he considers my work here has been done.
However, it is of such great benefit to Jesus and our beloved Church that I am able to donate such large amounts of my hard-earned cash that I believe Jesus will gladly kill someone else.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

Sorry to disappoint your friend Matty but my body is promised to Jesus Christ.
UNLESS, he happens to be an 86 year old Oil Rich Billionaire then I'm sure Jesus will forgive me for just a few short months of making someone's life happy.

BE CAREFUL, HARLOT! You saw what JESUS did to Anna-Nicole AND her illegitimate son! TAKE HEED!

[Talitha]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

Oh yeah, and Matt wants to know if you're single.

Sorry to disappoint your friend Matty but my body is promised to Jesus Christ.
UNLESS, he happens to be an 86 year old Oil Rich Billionaire then I'm sure Jesus will forgive me for just a few short months of making someone's life happy.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

Don't you mean you wouldn't want to sodomize me?? 0_o And Matty likes BTB. What's this I hear about you being a gay president?

Young man, Pastor Zeke has been blessed with unparalleled good looks and a superlative physique, and as such tempations abound. Yet he unflinchingly stays on the righteous path. He has been hounded by modeling agencies as well as film-makers to serve as a buttocks-double for Hellywood hunks, but he chooses to be a humble servant of the Lord. He is a straight arrow who will one day be a devoted and honorable husband to Sister Thumper. Show him the respect that he deserves.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

Don't you mean you wouldn't want to sodomize me?? 0_o And Matty likes BTB. What's this I hear about you being a gay president?

Obviously another Demoncrat trap - the same people who framed Brother Senator Larry Craig, hacked the computer of Mark Foley, and planted the viagra on Rush Limbaugh during his "family values inspection tour" in the Dominican Republic.

As for a gay president, you're obviously getting confused with Bill Clinton. Of course, if his lesbian wife Hillary or that terrorist Barack Obama bin Laden gets elected, that will be our second gay president.

Never happen, of course, since God has degreed that George W Bush shalt have a third term.

Now excuse me, gotta go - the guy in the stall next to me is tapping his shoes. Must be some kind of Morse Code. Anyone know how to spell "The answer is Jesus" in Morse Code?

Yours in Christ,
Buford

[hellion]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

Don't bother sharing any of my personal details with Matty. I have told him repeatedly that I do not want to engage in the sodomite lifestyle with him. While I am technically single, I am betrothed to sister Thumper.

Even if I wasn't, I would want to sodomize you.

Don't you mean you wouldn't want to sodomize me?? 0_o And Matty likes BTB. What's this I hear about you being a gay president?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

Darn. Now what's Zeke's last name? He told me but I forgot......

Oh yeah, and Matt wants to know if you're single.

Don't bother sharing any of my personal details with Matty. I have told him repeatedly that I do not want to engage in the sodomite lifestyle with him. While I am technically single, I am betrothed to sister Thumper.

Even if I wasn't, I would want to sodomize you.

[hellion]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

Darn. Now what's Zeke's last name? He told me but I forgot......

Never mind, I found it.

[hellion]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

Sorry Hell-on-earth but Pastor Ezekiel is back with us safe and sound. Much to the delight of Sister Thumper.

I'm sure there are other Christian Ladies who may be interested in Matty.
Some of them may even have their own teeth!!

Darn. Now what's Zeke's last name? He told me but I forgot......

Oh yeah, and Matt wants to know if you're single.

[Talitha]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

Does this mean BTB is single? I'll tell Matty right away!

Sorry Hell-on-earth but Pastor Ezekiel is back with us safe and sound. Much to the delight of Sister Thumper.

I'm sure there are other Christian Ladies who may be interested in Matty.
Some of them may even have their own teeth!!

[hellion]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

Does this mean BTB is single? I'll tell Matty right away!

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!



So that's what Muslim babes look like when they take off their burkas. Now I understand why they wear them.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

Oh Dear LORD! I just received THIS pic in my email.

I hope he out ran that She Bear. Has anyone hears ANYTHING?!???

Please GOD, please send my precious Sugarpie back home to me. IF you do, I promise to stop having unpure thoughts about Brother Remy.

I beseach the LORD. PLEASE!

Yours in HIM,

Humble Sister Thumper

Ooooooooh Sister Thumper, you have my prayers that your precious (and outrageously gorgeous) Pastor Zeke be returned home to you (with all his parts intact) healthy, safe and well, just as soon as possible!

... let us pray in Jesus' Name, noddy

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

Oh Dear LORD! I just received THIS pic in my email.

I hope he out ran that She Bear. Has anyone hears ANYTHING?!???

Please GOD, please send my precious Sugarpie back home to me. IF you do, I promise to stop having unpure thoughts about Brother Remy.

I beseach the LORD. PLEASE!

Yours in HIM,

Humble Sister Thumper