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Brothers and sisters, we need your prayers tonight. About two hours ago, I received a phone call from fellow church member Rebuko the Clown who was thrown in jail today under completely bogus allegations. I will admit though that I was quite flattered that he used his only phone call on me, since he knew I am a man that can make things happen. Just another case of Christian persecution that goes on today under our new Obama-nation.
Rebuko aka Starshine Simpson (a birth name given to him by his hippie mother) aka "Steve" Simpson is in serious trouble. For the past two months, he has worked as a janitor and handyman for the local Girl Scouts here in Iowa at Camp Tanglefoot. This is what apparently happened...
At 7:30 this evening, several girl scouts were on a nature hike on the outer perimeter of the compound. One girl went to relieve herself in a nearby pit outhouse. As she defecated, she claimed to have heard a "heavy breathing" below her. She shined her flashlight down into the toilet and saw Rebuko looking up at her, feces on his face, masturbating. She screamed and fled the outhouse.
What Rebuko told me over the phone was that yes, he was down in the bottom of the toilet pit, but he was trying to unclog a drain. I asked him why he thought a pit outhouse would have a drain and he didn't know. Look, the guy is innocent, not smart. It was a simple mistake you or I could make. I asked him about the masturbation claims and he refuted it. He swore on Jesus's good name he was not masturbating while having a pre-pubescent girl take a dump on his face. All he was trying to do was clean a toilet for $7 an hour.
I think what is happening is that a True Christian(tm) brother is being railroaded by the system. We live in sue-happy times where every man is a rapist and every Christian is an enemy of the state. I think we all know deep down that this is a horrible misunderstanding and Brother Rebuko is innocent. I mean, this is a man so humble he opens up his home for children to have fun in! Why is such a wonderful person being persecuted?
I am praying so hard tonight, and making arrangements for my top lawyer to represent him pro bono and hopefully he will be free from this very, very soon.
Rebuko aka Starshine Simpson (a birth name given to him by his hippie mother) aka "Steve" Simpson is in serious trouble. For the past two months, he has worked as a janitor and handyman for the local Girl Scouts here in Iowa at Camp Tanglefoot. This is what apparently happened...
At 7:30 this evening, several girl scouts were on a nature hike on the outer perimeter of the compound. One girl went to relieve herself in a nearby pit outhouse. As she defecated, she claimed to have heard a "heavy breathing" below her. She shined her flashlight down into the toilet and saw Rebuko looking up at her, feces on his face, masturbating. She screamed and fled the outhouse.
What Rebuko told me over the phone was that yes, he was down in the bottom of the toilet pit, but he was trying to unclog a drain. I asked him why he thought a pit outhouse would have a drain and he didn't know. Look, the guy is innocent, not smart. It was a simple mistake you or I could make. I asked him about the masturbation claims and he refuted it. He swore on Jesus's good name he was not masturbating while having a pre-pubescent girl take a dump on his face. All he was trying to do was clean a toilet for $7 an hour.
I think what is happening is that a True Christian(tm) brother is being railroaded by the system. We live in sue-happy times where every man is a rapist and every Christian is an enemy of the state. I think we all know deep down that this is a horrible misunderstanding and Brother Rebuko is innocent. I mean, this is a man so humble he opens up his home for children to have fun in! Why is such a wonderful person being persecuted?
I am praying so hard tonight, and making arrangements for my top lawyer to represent him pro bono and hopefully he will be free from this very, very soon.
Jesus!
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