[Didymus Much]

Re: Let's all pray for Aimee

Oh the poor dear!
I'll pray for her to cope as well as possible with her injuries...

And that's going to help how?

... God is bound to help her with her pain and suffering.

Let's see: God, who is omnipotent (that means He can cure her injuries completely and restore her missing limbs as easily as just slightly reducing the suffering she'll endure for the rest of her life) hasn't bothered to wave His hand (or whatever it is He does at miracle time) and cure her effortlessly, is somehow obligated to help her "deal" with the pain and suffering He inflicted by His Glorious Will...

Right. Which part of that so-called God is worth praying to, again?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Let's all pray for Aimee

Right. Which part of that so-called God is worth praying to, again?

The part that will burn you alive for all time in His Lake of Fire if you don't.

[Angelie]

Re: Let's all pray for Aimee

I hope the family knows what must be done what once a leprosy has been cured. I don't want to bore everyone with the details, which can all be found in Leviticus 14, but it involves finding a Jewish priest to kill a bird, the victim to completely shave and then take a bath in the bird's blood, then the sacrifice of two lambs (or, for poor people, one lamb either two turtledoves or two pigeons). "This is the law of leprosy." Leviticus 14:57

I think we should try that. Perhaps we could make little hands for her out of spit clay. John 9:6-7 That probably won't work, come to think of it. It probably needs to be Jesus' spit. I don't think we have any of that, do we?

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Let's all pray for Aimee

I think we should try that. Perhaps we could make little hands for her out of spit clay. John 9:6-7 That probably won't work, come to think of it. It probably needs to be Jesus' spit. I don't think we have any of that, do we?

Well, the Catholics would probably tell you they could transmogrify you buckets of Jesus's loogies, but no, I don't think Landover is in the possession of ANY of our Lord's blessed bodily fluids. And if we did have some stashed away, I don't imagine we'd waste it on some maroon who fell off of zip line and caught the creeping crud.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Let's all pray for Aimee

I think we should try that. Perhaps we could make little hands for her out of spit clay. John 9:6-7 That probably won't work, come to think of it. It probably needs to be Jesus' spit. I don't think we have any of that, do we?

You just might be able to get some:

Matthew 18:20
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Let's all pray for Aimee

I think we should try that. Perhaps we could make little hands for her out of spit clay. John 9:6-7 That probably won't work, come to think of it. It probably needs to be Jesus' spit. I don't think we have any of that, do we?

I've got a bucket of it, but I'm saving it for something.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Let's all pray for Aimee

Well, I'm hoping they get to asking Jesus to grow her arms and legs back soon because I'm tired of looking at her as she is now. She's like some ugly partially disassembled Mrs. Potatohead.



YiC,

Zech

[WWJDnow]

Re: Let's all pray for Aimee

I think we should try that. Perhaps we could make little hands for her out of spit clay. John 9:6-7 That probably won't work, come to think of it. It probably needs to be Jesus' spit. I don't think we have any of that, do we?

Excellent point, Sister Angelie. Jesus's spittle has remarkable restorative properties. It can even make the blind see!

And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw ought. And he looked up, and said, I see men as trees, walking. After that he put his hands again upon his eyes, and made him look up: and he was restored, and saw every man clearly. Mark 8:23-25

Next time I see a blind person, I'll spit on his eyes and see whether it requires Jesus's spittle or whether spittle from an ordinary True Christian(TM) will suffice.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Let's all pray for Aimee

Next time I see a blind person, I'll spit on his eyes and see whether it requires Jesus's spittle or whether spittle from an ordinary True Christian™ will suffice.

Most interesting! Do report back with as many details possible.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Let's all pray for Aimee

Excellent point, Sister Angelie. Jesus's spittle has remarkable restorative properties. It can even make the blind see!

And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw ought. And he looked up, and said, I see men as trees, walking. After that he put his hands again upon his eyes, and made him look up: and he was restored, and saw every man clearly. Mark 8:23-25

Next time I see a blind person, I'll spit on his eyes and see whether it requires Jesus's spittle or whether spittle from an ordinary True Christian™ will suffice.

Maybe the best thing to do would be to gather a group of True Christians™ together, and have them all spit on Aimee together?

Better yet, we could make it a fundraiser. Loogeys for Aimee! People could make a contribution for the honor of watching the spittling, either live or on pay-per-view. We could use the money to pay for the filming and future distribution of the DVD of the miracle.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Let's all pray for Aimee

Maybe the best thing to do would be to gather a group of True Christians™ together, and have them all spit on Aimee together?

Better yet, we could make it a fundraiser. Loogeys for Aimee! People could make a contribution for the honor of watching the spittling, either live or on pay-per-view. We could use the money to pay for the filming and future distribution of the DVD of the miracle.

I wonder if our prayers have helped to heal Aimee yet...

By now she ought to be feeling some sensations of impending regrowth.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Let's all pray for Aimee

I wonder if our prayers have helped to heal Aimee yet...

By now she ought to be feeling some sensations of impending regrowth.

All I know is I am praising the LORD Jesus even now!

\o/

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Let's all pray for Aimee

I wonder why she hasn't asked God to be healed yet. Perhaps she has more important things to pray about right now. That's okay, God will be there to heal her when having arms and legs reaches the top of her to-do list.

From the first picture, it looks like she didn't pray very hard to be relieved from the mote/beam in her eye; She wears eyeglasses.

Maybe God™ was trying to get her attention with the eyes, and she went on with her reckless "You're-Not-the-Boss-of-Me-I-Can-Do-It-All-Myself" life, and he's just now bringing in the "big guns" to go after her little limbs?

Matthew 7:3-5 / And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? / Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? / Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Let's all pray for God to heal Aimee's stump hands.

I think I know why The Lord made those flesh bacteria eat her hands, leg, and foot off. Just look at her, she used to dress like a total whore!

Now, I'm not saying we shouldn't pray for her, we totally should, but I think we also need to pray that she got God's message. Here, I'll get us started:


Lord, we ask that you not only make Aimee Copeland's hands, leg, and foot grow back, but that You reach into her slutty heart and turn her into a modest and chaste young lady, so that You won't have to mercifully smite her yet again for offending You. I ask this knowing she probably doesn't deserve it, but since she has touched the hearts of several True Christians™, we figured You could do us a solid on this one, being that we are Your chosen people and all. In Your Holy name I pray, amen.

[Johnathan]

Re: Let's all pray for God to heal Aimee's stump hands.

I have reason to suspect Aimee had it coming, and for a good Biblically supported reason.

I find myself in agreement with my esteemed colleague, brother Portway. She dressed too slutty back in her days.

Atleast now she has been humbled, and will live the rest of her life as a pathetic cripple. You have been warned, Christ deniers.